Thursday, April 17, 2014

Andre Johnson Cuts Off His Own Penis

Rapper Andre Johnson has worked with Wu-Tang Clan and yesterday morning he was at a party with other people when witnesses say he cut off his penis and then jumped from a second floor balcony. Although he survived the jump, TMZ is reporting that doctors were unable to reattach his penis. The witnesses said that there was no warning the rapper was going to do this and they didn't have time to stop him because everything happened so fast. By the time they got downstairs he was running around screaming. They also say there were no drugs involved and believe Johnson suffers from some type of mental condition.

81 comments:

Frosty said...

That is so sad. Poor soul.

sandybrook said...

Believe he suffers from some kind of mental condition? He's seriously ill, nothing to think about there. Get him the help he needs because he's suicidal. And will try again.

FSP said...

Not even he could help the Texans last season.

Seachica said...

I think we have our Darwin Award winner.

FrenchGirl said...

Poor soul!

JSierra said...

What. The. Fuck.

discoflux said...

Ahhhhahaahahaha! When I saw "Andre Johnson" I gasped thinking it was the football player, FSP. "You didn't do THAT badly last season, Andre! And now there's no more Matt Schaub! It gets better!"

Steampunk Jazz said...

No drugs were involved?
Possible mental condition?
Did no one know this guy that they invited?

Leekalicious said...

It sounds as if he was punishing himself in some crazy, exaggerated literal biblical translation way. "If a ____ offends thee, cut it off". sort of thing. The poor guy, and what a shock for his family, friends and fans.

Kelly said...

Oh wow. Terrible.

FearN said...

Very sad to read that he is gong through this - hope he gets well ASAP and gets appropriate help.

it took forever said...

He is going to need intense counseling when he wakes up and finds his penis missing

Anonymous said...

Andre is now missing his Johnson.

Too soon?

Robert said...

I only hope the idiot hadn't managed to reproduce before this incident.

Count Jerkula said...

@FSP: I hear ya. They must have told the guy, "cut off your pecker or go play in Oakland with Schaub." That is the only time cutting off yer pecker is a viable option.

Jessi said...

Damn! I wish him well! I also being nosey as fuck, want to know what the hell he was thinking!!

auntliddy said...

My friends mother was probably schizophrenic. Anyway one fine day, the voices told her to cut off her ear and set fire to her hair, which is how my 10th grade friend and sister found their mother. She got help but there were no drugs, it was mental illness. She recovered after getting help hope this guy does too.

Steampunk Jazz said...

Bwahahaha @cocoa

Seachica said...

Awesome, cocoa!

gr8p said...

If it wasn't bath salts, then he's definitely mentally ill.

Frosty said...

Lol @ FSP

HeatherAM said...

I was wondering about bath salts too. I thought they couldn't be detected by a regular drug screen.

Unknown said...

@ Robert: the man appears to be mentally ill. Not sure how that qualifies as being an idiot. I doubt you would say this about someone you personally knew.

Mental issues are serious, and it's too bad you find them a means to insult someone.

Unknown said...

And Seachica is no better. Compassion for a fellow person is dead, indeed.

Jacq said...

Lol
He's just Andre now

Jacq said...

Yeah... We're going to need to go ahead and get that drug test....

And I'm guessing it'll be a follicle test? Guy can't pee in a cup right now, even though I I'm sure he wishes he could

Bacon Ranch said...

So we call him Andrea now?

No drugs involved? I don't believe that for a second. Also, WTF? What kind of things do you have for folks to obtain at a party that can assist with the removal of a penis?
Happened so quick? I mean there is so much more that can be fodder Layna..

Unknown said...

Yeh I guess he does suffer from some type of mental condition if no drugs involved. I wonder how he feels about it today??

rajahcat said...

really nothing funny about this...

shocking even

Bacon Ranch said...

Jokes aside, he's obviously in a dark place and I'm glad he's getting help.
I still don't understand how they couldn't reattach the organ, though.
Hell, Lorena Bobbit tossed John's into the street (or field) and they found it in time, put it on ice or whatever and put it back together.

This is why I don't buy the whole 'no drugs involved' deal. I think everyone probably hauled ass who could have helped save the penis.

Pip said...

Imo, drugs had to be involved. I'm surprised he didn't pass out from shock instead of jumping.

headrot said...

@sandy why are you saying that he's suicidal? You realize that just be a mentally ill person jumps from a balcony that it's not necessarily a suicide attempt?

It sounds like schizo delusions to me. Which means that jumping off the balcony is very unlikely to be a suicide attempt.

At least I know sandy's superhero power now. Jumping to gross and rash accusations of whether people are suicidal or not. Seems like you've done that before.

headrot said...

I love how nearly all of you have zero comprehension or understanding of mental illness but are perfectly happy to throw shade about it or jump to inappropriate conclusions about it.

I hope all of you with the shitty snarky comments have a parent, sibling, or child, who finds themselves with a serious mental medical condition and your loving self to (Ha!) to help them.

Unknown said...

I'd like to cosign this.

discoflux said...

Bacon - It's possible that between the time required for the life saving measures they had to take and injuries he sustained in the fall, that time and anatomy wouldn't allow for it.

Poor guy. There has to be something major happening in his noggin to be able to commit that type of self-mutilation. I hope that he gets the treatment he needs.

Bacon Ranch said...

Neat tale headrot.

Do you live on the second story?

Your first one was boring and this one is a leap. The guy was on drugs. This isn't true mental illness we are talking about. This is self induced. Do the math.

Pip said...

Headrot, you are not the queen of mental illnesses, many of us here have some too. I do! I still think drugs played a part! Typically when one cuts of their penis, and then jumps from several stories up, they are doing so to end their life.

Bacon Ranch said...

disco, when Bobbit (and I had the unfortunate experience of meeting him, that's why I know this) was severed, it was in his bed and he indeed was in shock. She had time to get into the car and take a drive to toss it.
He was finally able to dial 911

Now, people at a party....no one has a phone?

Drugs

S.joy said...

Sad story. This guy was actually a Christian rapper.. Who knows the demons he may have been dealing with. I agree that he is mentally ill. Hopefully he will get all the help, compassion and love he needs.

Robert: Idiots do stupid things for fun. I don't think this was a case of idiocracy. And if he does indeed have children, I pray they are getting help as well during such a difficult time.

discoflux said...

That's kind of a backwards wish there, headrot. If nearly all of us are so cold and uncaring, why would you wish us upon someone who needs help? Since nearly all of us are assholes who don't care, we could just stick them in a facility and be done with them. I think your point would've had more impact had you wished mental illness upon us and that we would only have someone who is cold and callus to turn to, no?

Cut us some slack, we're just trying to keep up with learning your particular brand of insanity. I'm glad we can serve as an outlet for your psychopathic rage fits. It may by a humanitarian effort on our part. Perhaps we should look into funding through an NGO.

Alicia said...

To be fair just about anyone can be " affiliated " with the Wu Tang Clan. Those guys have so many cousins, friends , hang arounds that cut one track with one guy who's cousin produced a song for Ghostface and next thing you know they are part of the Wu.

discoflux said...

S. Joy! Long time no see! Hope you and the hubs are well!

discoflux said...

*shudder* True, Bacon, but JWB didn't inflict further injury upon himself by taking a 2 story dive off a building, either. He just inflicted further injury upon the public by doing porn later on. *shudder*

Rosie riveter said...

I think we have our sensitivity award winner

Rosie riveter said...

Ding ding ding and another!

S.joy said...

@discoflux Thanks so much! Feels good to be back 😊 The hubby and I are doing great, just celebrated 3 years of marriage!

Rosie riveter said...

Jhc. Shut the fuck up

Jessi said...

Headrot, I mean this as no disrespect, but why are you always so angry? You're judgement is always so rash and condescendig and then you retort is always so fucking harsh. Yes people can be assholes but you are no better. (Ok now I'm sure I'll get flogged - have at it I suppose if it will make you feel better) I wish you well though.

Rosie riveter said...

Most ppl her are TOO sensitive

Lady Heisenberg said...

This could be a lot of different things. Drug induced psychosis, mental illness, or even some sort of gender identity disorder. Genital mutilations like these are actually not uncommon among people suffering GID. I have no idea what happened here, but the result is the same. Get better Andre.

Mark Kaepplein said...

No-Wang Clan? He saved himself from the source of many future problems documented on these pages.

Sherry said...

So sad whenever anyone wants to harm themselves whatever the organic reason. And damn right he's going to have some issues when he stabilizes and comes to the realization of what the self mutilation has cost him. So tragic.

rajahcat said...

not all of us btw

Unknown said...

@Bacon Ranch: you may be right--drugs could have very well been involved. But even then, most guys are, well, pretty attached to their penis. Give the little guy names and what not. So it's not hard to believe that mental illness is at least partly on display here.

Didn't mean to be so sensitive about it, really. But self-mutilation goes well beyond Darwinism and idiocy, IMO. I just found the comments needlessly crude.

figgy said...

Come on, some of you need to lighten up. Can we really NEVER make jokes about tragedy? Ever? Don't you know that that is one (mentally healthy!) way to deal with the unrelentingly bad, horrifying news that we hear all day every day from the media? It doesn't mean we don't feel sorry for the people involved. It's a coping mechanism.

Doesn't have to be drug-induced behavior. A friend used to work for a state hospital for the criminally insane. One guy cut off his penis with a dull razor blade...then ate it. No drugs involved, but extremely mentally ill.

Rosie riveter said...

Totally agree. I was telling headrot ppl here ARE sensitive

crila16 said...

Whoa...this is insane and so very sad. I thought for sure drugs had to be involved, but I guess not. How sick would someone have to be to do something like this. Insane.

Unknown said...

Apparently, jumping to grandiose ideas of being a doctor are the new and improved super hero power. I'm fairly certain the people of earth have a much better use for your expertise than cdan... Just a thought though

TalksTooMuch said...

Sweetbabyjeebus! Brutal. Hope he gets help

ForSure said...

Please let this man be in a state where they can do a 48 hour hold. He either needs to get the drugs out of his system or he needs to get some serious mental health assistance.

Good luck Andre Johnson.

feraltart said...

If they couldn't reattach he must have really mutilated himself in the process. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Rose said...

@Pip, how many suicide by cutting penis off cases have you heard of? It's really not how people attempt to kill themselves.

This is very sad and I hope he gets the help he needs. This is just horrifying and my heart breaks for the pain this caused. I think just having the penis near by doesn't insure it can be reattached. Wouldn't it matter the way or place it was removed?

I think people who do not know much about mental illness seem to just assume that it has to be drugs. That isn't true and I know what I always hear about people assuming. It could be drugs, it could be a mental illness, it could be both. Sometimes people with mental illnesses try to use drugs or alcohol to self medicate and fix whatever the problem is, to try to get their brain to function "normally". I doubt it was just drugs or that if he has a mental illness and also does drugs that it was the drugs that was the underlying cause of what AJ did to himself.

WareCat said...

Sounds like an epic party.

Unknown said...

CDANers can't let a week go by without conflict on at least one thread.

Sherry said...

Boy ain't that the truth Dingle? I wanted to laugh at the johnson joke but was seriously afraid I'd get slapped by someone. I wrote what I felt but that doesn't mean I didn't get the humor. I just don't get offended easily. And then there are others. Everyone can make their point but we don't really need hall monitors at our ages.

No on has to be Judgy McJudgerson about it.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Dingle Barry! Maybe it's finally Throat Punch Thursday??

Unknown said...

Throat Punch Thursdays are when only one commenter loses their $hit on a thread. This is more like Circle Jerk Thursday, no offense to Just Andre.

Leekalicious said...

Everyone reacts differently to news such as this post. People joke because they simply don't know what to say. Offering support seems trite to some people, since we don't know him personally. I think some of the posters were just trying to lift the spirits of people around them. Others who have experience in or around mental health, are more inclined to offer explanations. Everyone's different, that's all.

Unknown said...

Amen, Leek, but by Tuesday of next week you and others will be reminding us of the same thing again.

As the CDAN Turns.

Rose said...

Well said Leekalicious.

Meanie Rhysie said...

I hope he gets the help he needs, whether it's for substance abuse or mental illness, or both. Mental illness is a cunt.

Leekalicious said...

@Dingle Barry

Reminding who of what? Could you rephrase, please?

Leekalicious said...

@Dingle

OK, I gotcha now.

TLP said...

There are some scary drugs out there today. And good old PCP is still around. Shudder

Alita said...

@discoflux: you mean the notorious Frankenpenis! Gross and all - but the name always made me chuckle.

Also boggling that Bacon knows he is the Franken-Frankie!

Crystal said...

Right?! When I first came here I wondered if everyone actually knew one another personally bc people take these comments so seriously!

Stephanie said...

How about some kindness? The brain is a body part too, and suffers from illness. This man needs our well wished

Stephanie said...

How about some kindness? The brain is a body part too, and suffers from illness. This man needs our well wished

Leekalicious said...

@Crystal There are some long-time posters who have met in person. There haven't been any get- togethers posted for a few years though. I haven't met anyone in person. People who tend to post at the same time get to know each other by sight. There's also a Book Club, which TTM runs. I posted several times with no one responding, and finally I thought, well, maybe I'll approach another Canadian. If someone posts specifically to me, I always answer, unless it's the conclusion of a subject, or if it's a troll, or I simply don't see it.

Sprink said...

I LOVE logic, discoflux

Sprink said...

And some people just don't care but want to make jokes.

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