Yeah, it is as bad as you think.
82 Comments on "The First Three Minutes Of The Canyons"
this is totally unrealistic. no one has a HOUSE PHONE anymore. geez!
I watched this and am just shocked. It seems like it was supposed to be a total spoof, much like the Scary Movies. Other than that, if it were on tv, I'd probably make some popcorn and watch it. I now have a secret crush on James Deen, though, so that may be the best outcome from this movie. Actually, this movie may be remembered for introducing him to mainstream, and for nothing regarding lilo. Which would be great….
So nice I had to watch it twice. Well, actually only like the first 10 seconds of it
Does anyone else feel like Lilo got punk'd? With all the press leaks, and the interview from behind the scenes, I almost feel like this film was made to show us what a disaster she is! I mean all of her costars are poem stars, it was filmed on a shoe string budget at the direntor's house. Odd.
If LiLo was talented, where did the talent go, why isn't she still talented? James Deen is the bees knees, his porno for pirates is sexy as fuck, that house is amazeballs, I thought that my computer was on the fritz because I couldn't hear a damn thing. B.E.E. was the pooh, Rules of Attraction is a great fucking movie. The End.
I think it's hysterical that they're blaming Lindsay's legal troubles for this being turned down at Sundance. But after that article, it's clear that everyone involved thinks it was a work of art.
Omg @JSierra, I think you meant perpetrator, but violent penetrater is lol. (Not really, you know what I mean.)
YOU LIIIIIED TO ME!!
That was funny.
I can't stand movies where the main character is a dumbass. Let me call my phone repeatedly so that it rings really loudly and awakens my violent penetrater.
It's like in a horror movie where the girl hides in a closet and makes so much fucking noise breathing and crying, then acts surprised when the bad guy finds her. What did you expect?!
I read the article – isn't she supposed to be just oh-so-ahhhmazing and magical? Worst. Acting. Ever. From both of them.
Has anyone seen the 1963 movie trilogy, "Black Sabbath"? (That band really did name themselves after this film). Lilo is starting to look like the dead lady w/the ring…
Sounds like a real peach
James Peen will be okay.
@january girl:what u said!
Yes! It's the dead girl makeup from court! Or is it abused woman makeup?
artemis, I'll pass.
When you're completely upstaged by a falling water bottle, your ghoulish makeup, a croaky voice and a sleeping porn star, it's time to pack it up and let an unknown with talent have a chance.
Has anyone here even seen any of James Deen's porn? He specialises in humiliation, punishment, and gang bangs. If you're into watching a woman being thrown around by her hair, then slapped and spit on in her face then check him out.
Wow, just wow… This is atrocious!
*than hers for sure
Her body shape looks like shit now. His acting was more convincing tha. Hers got sure
The NYT story said he had done 4,000 movies. Four thousand! That's, like, Wilt Chamberlain level stuff.
But still, he's a nice Jewish boy.
@lynn i couldn't watch after that, i hope someone turns that exact part into a gif lmao
i still can't believe he's only 26!I'm almost old enough to be his…whatever the fuck he wants me to be.
Flesh eating bacteria is better than Liz & Dick
Lilo never could act! Why are people surprised?? She talks every fucking line with zero emotion. Doesn't matter what movie.
We only let it pass in Mean Girls cuz the movie was funny as hell.
I enjoy Mr. Deen's other movies MUCH more for some reason.
James Deens blog is interesting .. He's got this childlike enthusiasm mixed with a large loaded weapon and oodles of testosterone .. It's endearing in a way. He adores his costars, kittens and food… That being said he should stick to porn. Between starring, directing and producing he should be set for life.
I just lost three minutes of my life to watch that. James Deen might want to go from porn to main stream film. Him sleeping was better acting than LiLo wandering around calling her cell. I mean really people? And whoever said she looked like a dead vic on SVU hit the nail on the head.
Okay: Yes, cordless thing-waaaay awkward; YES! def syfy low budget everything; Yes, lindsay still rocking that Deep Throat…
Here I go again being that girl that defends her, BUT the end part intrigued me as the role of a make-up whore, starlet wannabe, abused, and victimsied chic playing it cool, could be WONDERFULLY executed by yours hatefully (I mean her not me ;p). If he and the script delivered, I think she could've too…I'm guessing it didn't happen but prob what she thought when she read the script.
If I hadn't read the caption, I would have thought it was a very bad spin on the Walking Dead.
The real star here is that house! Gorgeous.
She really needs to quit injecting things other than man gravy into her face. During her whole crying scene she looks like she's laughing.
if only, my friend. If only.
At least half the reason the NYT Magazine bought that piece was because of the connection to Bret Easton Ellis. He hasn't written anything decent for a couple decades, and apparently he's an ass on Twitter. But Ellen Barkin is wrong about one thing — Mary Harron completely destroyed American Psycho when she took it to the screen, turned it into a complete mockery of what Ellis had been doing in that book and utterly refused to deal head-on with why it so disturbed the public, just turned it into a cartoon.
This looked like one of the lower quality SyFy channel original movies. I kept expecting Sharktopus to jump up and grab her from off the catwalk.
Some of the worst movies I've ever seen were based on Brett Easton Ellis stories. He is like the douchebag nation chronicler of late 20th century America. I'm sure there were nice people among the rich in the 1980's but Ellis didn't know any of them.
"This can't be my phone?" What kind of line is that?
I also like that when she's listening hard for her cell phone to ring, she puts her ear closer to the cordless. Makes sense.
BTW, were they trying to be "BLOOD SIMPLE"? Good luck with that.
After reading that article, I just feel really bad for the director.
My favorite part would have to be the 13 numbers she pressed, when dialing the phone.
Granted Bubble Guppies is on for my 2-year-old, but I kept watching thinking something was wrong with my laptop's volume.
I can't believe the NYTimes devoted their time and space to this straight-to-DVD travesty. This could easily sweep the Razzies.
The movie was made on a shoestring the publicity has been priceless…now they hope people will pay to see it…personally I'll pass…
This whole mess just reminded me how the writer of this fabulous movie, Bret Easton Ellis, totally shitted on Katheryn Bigelow's good name a few months back on Twitter. Ellen Barkin wasn't having any of it.
You guys made me laugh! Now I'm going to have to watch and I wasn't going to!
He can't act, either.
The heavy breathing is really irritating.
So you wake up scared of your bedmate – that's what it looks like, anyway – and then you call your own phone to make sure he wakes up?
Why yes, whenever I have sex at someone's house, I wake up in the morning with full makeup, hair and nightgown on.
I can't hate on the acting. She is far, FAR better than she was in Liz and Dick. Now if only they could have edited out the wheezing part.