Reports are circulating that the suicide of Mary Kennedy, the estranged wife of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., was by hanging. Yesterday Mary's body was found by a housekeeper. The 52 year old woman had been going through a very hard time in life since she and her husband split including a couple of DUI arrests. One for drinking and one for prescription meds. Suicide is never the option. Things will always get better.
Posted by
ent lawyer
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8:30 AM
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66 comments:
Not to be a dick but things don't always get better, just sayin....
Poor thing, I feel awful for her kids...so unfair.
That's not true...you don't know that things will always get better. It doesn't for some people, man.
Gotta echo here...it doesn't always get better. It comes down to your coping skills and if you can make the changes to build a different life. Some don't make it. Love and compassion to her.
Her poor kids. She couldn't find a reason not to do this within those four children?
Her poor family.
Things don't get better. Your tolerance just gets higher.
I feel terrible for her kids. Studies have shown that people with a parent who commits suicide are more likely to do so themselves. It really is sad that she wasn't able to get the help that she needed.
Sad. It's very important to give support to someone you know is battling depression. Physiologically, a depressed person develops neural pathways that keep them in a cycle of depression. It is naive to say that they just need to suck it up. They need good therapy and support to battle what's happening to their brain. Self-medicating with alcohol along with prescription drugs can definitely make the problem worse.
SkittleKitty, that's exactly what I was thinking. Wasn't her youngest only 11?
I know when you're at the point of suicide, you're not thinking clearly and there doesn't seem to be a way out, but jfc those poor kids.
At least she didn't take the 4 kids with her. Even she was in debt she was a wealthy woman she could of gotten help. Women don't define yourself by whom your married to (even if it is a Kennedy). Have your own life and move on.
Donna Summer died. :(
Not to be cold but that way of killing yourself pisses me off the most. Can you imagine finding the body in that state? How do you ever recover from that?
I know it's cold of me to say and there are all sorts of psychological issues at play etc etc but good Lord, just think about what you're going to do to the person that finds you.
Mary was having problems with drinking BEFORE they split up.
You can't rationalize irrational thoughts and behavior. This woman clearly wasn't thinking normal. Poor kids.
@Vickie :( from me too. I liked her.
Reminds me of that scene from Girl Interrupted when they find Britney hanging.
It must be very traumatic for anyone who finds a body like that. If I was going to go, I'd choose a ton of sleeping pills. Just saying.
if anyone is in a bad place right now reading this please ignore the Negative Nelly's above.
It CAN get better if you STOP and talk to someone you trust.
Suicide is never the answer.
Never.
Very, very sad. Agree with those saying it doesn't always get better for some people but you do have a choice in how you react to what is going on around you. It's very sad to hear about those who saw no other way than out. :(
Sad news about Donna Summer as well @Vicki.
It DOES get better, it did for me and I'm glad I didn't follow thru. BUT it also ended up getting alot worse but I got better at asking for help. Help is always there.
OT is it true that Donna Summer is dead?!!?
Is it me or are the Kennedy Men cursed. Seems like all their women have gone thru bad situations one way or another.
TMZ confirm Donna Summer died from cancer.
Some dark perspectives this morning. I always think a person in the midst of committing suicide, right at the last minute says, wait! What am I thinking here?! And a lot of people that thought about it and didn't, look back in amazement that it crossed their minds.
I read that it was by hanging last night in the UK papers. Does the media in the US know the same info and take longer to report it? Or is the UK just more aggressive in finding out?
NOOOOO! I love her. "On the Radio" was the first album I ever bought. :-(
@rejectedcarebear - I'm glad you didn't follow through as well & were able to get the help you needed.
@jax also makes a VERY valid point.
No matter what you may think - there is ALWAYS someone out there that cares about you and will listen to you. In my case, it took a random bill collector to call the police after I mentioned I was too busy trying to kill myself to mess with old debts.
@jax - those of us saying it doesn't always get better are not advocating for suicide, just pointing out that sometimes life is harsh.
I was depressed & suicidal at one point and things DID get better so there's that. My grandmother however, shot herself and my poor mother had to see it at the age of 19. Was pretty rough.
Life is what you make it
Wow--I know only one thing: I would NEVER let my child marry a Kennedy.
I wonder WTH old man Joe did to bring this kind of karma on the family? I know they're famous so we hear about every little thing...but no non-famous family I ever heard of has this kind of death/tragedy/accident rate.
Man, her poor kids. What a shame.
Awww, shit! Donna Summer died?
She was my idol way back when...
What did old Joe do ? He was a bootlegger, a cheating husband, made his daughter have a lobotomy, a nasty nasty man, just a thug...and I'm sure many worse things...
Wow. Find some peace now mary
This is tragic, especially for her children.
I could say many things about suicide and the myths around it, facts and prevalence, my family's personal story...but I'm too tired and cranky, so I won't. May she rest in peace.
All that said, I hope I don't sound like a bitch when I say that it's probably a good idea to never marry a Kennedy man. Period.
The Kennedy women are the ones who have paid the price over the years; I sometimes wonder how Caroline holds up after all this time.
Thank you @Jax.
NY papers say her ex was telling people he'd taken custody of the children recently. Friends quoted saying this weekend she was despondent, in bad financial mess and ex was about to reduce her support payments and she'd lose her house. (Funny, when I first heard about her death my first thought was that money troubles w/the Kennedy staff had pushed her over the edge.)
I've heard some nasty stories about her ex husband. If I were her, I'd be battling shame. For the shit my husband has done. Poor lady had to deal with all of fucktard behavior of him and the rest of that demented clan. RIP, Mary.
Robert, I think Caroline is tough because she had Jackie for a Mother. Jackie may have played deovoted wife, but I think she had bigger balls than Jack, Bobbie, and Ted put together.
Is it just me or are more and more people committing suicide these days?
What we have to keep in mind: we are given a life because we are strong enough to live it. The night is always darkest before the dawn. When you lose hope, you've lost yourself. But you can find yourself again.
Don't be afraid to ask for help and say things are tough. Life IS tough. But it can also be beautiful. And it's worth fighting for.
Life is what you make of it.
Been there, ALMOST done that, and things DO get better.
They certainly get better enough than leaving children with that kind of horsesh@t. When you have kids, you suck it up. End of story. Anything else and you're an f-ing coward.
Just my opinion, though, which is anectodotal and not professional.
Cheryl Hines is dating Robert F. Kennedy, but I don't know if this happened before or after the separation.
I'm pretty sure they were still legally married.
I wonder if Mary left a note?
Geez, I can't even with these Kennedy men. A bigger bunch of assholes have never been born. Every relationship I can think of with them has ended in violent death, misery, loneliness and desperation.
Layna Day said-
"What we have to keep in mind: we are given a life because we are strong enough to live it."
I really that statement.
I think it's not a matter of it getting BETTER or getting WORSE it's all a matter of perspective because everyone's version of happy is different than the others.
I think all you can really do, similarly to what timebob was talkign about, is form your own life non-contingent upon anyone else's happiness but your own. Make sure to have goals and accomplishments outside of friends/family/romantic partners so that way even if people come in and out of your life you will always have yourself and the goals you've accomplished to boost your self-confidence and worth. THAT is really how things get better, by doing little things all the time for yourself that remind you of your strength. When I went back to school this helped, when I lost weight this also helped and I feel that much more rooted into the soil because of those things I did separate from any man, any friend and anyone else.
On a lighter note, Michael K.'s response to this new Kennedy tragedy had me snorting/laughing at the same time:
TMZ also wants us to know that Robert F. Kennedy is currently dating Cheryl Hines. So I think I speak for all of us when I say: RUUUUUUUUN, Cheryl, RUUUUUUN. The Kennedy Curse is no joke and it's truly worse than The Hunger Games.
*I really like that statement
"Suicide is never the option. Things will always get better."
If only she had read your blog, enty, BEFORE she committed suicide. Your wise words might have helped her change her mind.
I will never criticize someone who has committed suicide. Having been close to doing so myself, I know the demons of mental illness can be horrific.
However, I'm tired of hearing about the Kennedy "curse." With the exception of JFK and RFK who were assassinated, all of the Kennedy problems were their own responsibilities - the drugs, the cheating, the deaths and yes, to an extent, even the suicides. There is no outside source or karma that does this. You do it to yourself. I'm not meaning to be heartless in this particular case, she was obviously mentally ill, but it was not a curse. If Robert's last name was Smith, we'd be thinking differently.
Loneliness and depression are no joke. I feel so bad for her, and hope she's finally found some peace.
I also pray that her kids survive this as well.
There are some rules in life that need to be understood. One of the most important is "never get involved with the Kennedys". Never.
I worked for them for a year. It took five years off of mine. They are not nice people. With the possible exception of Caroline and John Jr.
@Jax I really love what you said.
I have fought one major depression after another for the last twenty years or more. I have tried therapy and medication and diet and exercise and self-help books and journals and nothing works for me long-term.
To make it worse, every psychiatrist I have worked with has told me that for each depression you have, your odds of having another increase, so that by the time you are struggling with depression number 4 or 5, it is almost inevitable you will have more.
Depression is as serious an illness as cancer and just as difficult to "cure." Telling someone with depression to cheer up or look on the bright side or life is what you make it is like telling someone with cancer to take an aspirin and get a good night's sleep. No one really wants their life to end in suicide. It happens when the pain feels like it is far beyond a person's ability to cope and usually has been for a very long time.
I read a piece on CNN or MSNBC recently about this radical new treatment and what struck me was the person profiled in the article said something along the lines of, "It wasn't that I didn't want to be happy, it was that I COULDN'T be happy." Some people's brains are just wired in a bad way. Someone upthread mentioned something about the neural pathways get set and that is very, very hard to beat.
Just like someone with cancer can't just BE HEALTHY, someone with depression can't just BE HAPPY. And again, to continue the analogy, cancer isn't always curable and I would venture to say neither is depression. One person's victory over it is not going to be another's. Everyone's battle is unique. That doesn't mean you shouldn't fight, but I can understand why someone would finally give up.
I am NOT advocating suicide, just trying to get people to understand why someone may get to that point. The average's person understanding of mental health issues is still woefully lacking.
My heart hurts for her loved ones.
RIP, Mary. Why do women who get involved with Kennedy men end up in a bad place? Hasn't RFK, Jr. been dating Cheryl Hines for quite some time now? I hope he and Cheryl feel some guilt right now. He and Mary were never legally divorced. He is now technically a widower.
That's odd. Women usually don't hang themselves. They usually take pills or slice their wrists. Men usually shoot or hang themselves when comitting suicide. I wonder if she really did commit suicide or if she was murdered.
@ Carolyn - good luck to you. I still go back to that dark place sometimes but over the years I seem to have gotten a better handle on it - I can recognize it and try to fight it. Hope you find the strength to deal with your demons.
Can you imagine what it would be like trying to divorce a Kennedy? That had to be so hard. Look at Betty Broderick - how much different could this have been.
For anyone dealing with depression, please take a look at PTSD therapy. I don't think this is talked about as much as it should be. Good luck to everyone.
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/VA_PTSD_Treatment_Works.asp
Cheryl Hines is dating this guy? Oh man, I love her but the Kennedys are bad news(relationship-wise).
Things don't always get better. Sometimes things get worse. You just learn to deal with it.
I feel so sorry for her. You can tell RFKJr is a dick just by looking at him.
Thank you, Carolyn.
Laughing at the idea of cursed Kennedy men. It's called The Curse of the Douche Bag. They can break it by growing some balls and acting like a decent human being.
If someone has cancer, other people don't pretend to understand.Why do people pretend to know depression unless they've actually experienced it. Everybody has a limit to what they can cope with.Some people have found that limit in war time,with the 'shell-shock' of the world wars and PTSD of more recent ones.If we haven't reached that limit we shouldn't judge, if we have and are still alive we can be thankful.
@susanB: If Robert's last name was Smith, we'd be thinking differently. Then, it wouldn't be a Kennedy Curse, it would be a Cure!
Crila,
That's what I thought about when I read it was by hanging...
I can understand wanting to punish your ex, but wouldn't you want to protect your children?
I hope she finds peace now.
My heart goes out to those in dark places. I want you to live, but I understand that there are awful acts perpetrated against people that they can't adjust their attitude to cope with. If you are being bullied at school, work or home, where do you go? If you have been raped, how do you close your eyes and feel safe? Read the comments in some of the posts on CDAN, the awful way people denigrate each other. I want anyone who is hurting to know that I want you to live. You have insight and compassion to contribute to a world that desperately needs it. Oprah asks people what they know for sure, I have learnt a very important truth, things aren't always what they seem. I am surrounded by people who fudge how great their life is, but couldn't hide the verbal abuse from their spouse on holiday, or their jealousy at others happiness, their eating disorder, the unhappy children. Maybe if you look closely you too will see that there are cracks in everybody's armour. We are all flawed, I wish everybody nothing but the best.
I'm not sure why Cheryl/Robert should be ashamed.. If they were seperated they're free to do what they choose... It's sad that this whole situation happened, and I'm not a Kennedy advocate by any mean, but Mary Kennedy was a known alcoholic way before the divorce...Sorry. Just hit home because my boyfriend isn't divorced yet, but it's just waiting on the paper. It doesn't make him less single, or his soon to be ex (who has her boyfriend) less single.
Hi Carolyn
thank you for your thoughtful, empathetic and articulate post. I hope others are able to see things from a different perspective as a result. It is very easy to pass judgement when you haven't experienced the same issues
I hope you find peace
Unless you have actually been to the point that you feel completely hopeless, and so worthless that you are convinced even your own children will not miss you, I would avoid pat "it gets better" statements.
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