Friday, December 09, 2011

My Christmas Wish To Andy Cohen


Dear Andy,


First of all, Mazel to you and your new job. I think it is pretty great that you will be hosting Watch What Happens Live five days a week and think it is genius that you are doing it Sunday through Thursday. The last thing you want to be doing is working on a Friday and Saturday night and you managed to avoid it.

Kudos also to that whole Millionaire Matchmaker Reunion thing which was a great idea. I don't think we need to see it after every season like with the Housewives, but it was fun to reminisce, so thanks for that.

Speaking of Housewives, I would like to talk to you about my Christmas wish to you. Yes, I know you are Jewish, so if you would like to think of this as a holiday wish we can go with that. I am flexible. If you help me with this I will help you with your Christmas wish, which judging by the first part of the Matchmaker reunion show probably involves you and Madison and some whipped cream. Am I right or am I right? I like to say that last part sometimes. It is from Groundhog Day. Can you believe in America we have an annual movie tradition that involves a day about the a groundhog forecasting the weather and that it is actually a great movie?

Anyway, you made me lose my train of thought. Oh, as the former head of programming at Bravo you might be interested to know that despite my love for your network I do not watch it on Thursday nights. I divide my television viewing between your mother network NBC and also WE. I love the Braxtons. Just can't help it. I love that whole crazy family. I won't go into details right now, but feel to drop me a line and I will churn out a few thousand words about how good the show is.

I noticed that on the Real Housewives that you only have African American women on the Atlanta version of the show. Why is that? I'm not saying you are like Food Network or anything who just added their first African American person but remains a lily white bastion of a network, but it would be nice to see some more color on the Housewives and I have a suggestion.

Tamar Braxton on RH-Beverly Hills. You have to admit I just made you smile didn't I Andy? Come on, it is like that inside joke you share with Matthew Broderick. Can you imagine Tamar on Real Housewives. Imagine it Andy. Teaching Lisa Vanderpump how to dance. Calling everyone dot com. She would be the only truly honest person on the show. Taylor yells at Tamar? It would only happen once. Taylor then would never utter an unkind word or raise her voice in front of Tamar again. Can you imagine the conflict? It would be heaven ratings wise. I promise. Plus, Tamar is qualified. She has as much money, if not more than your cast. Of course, I think my dog has more money than Taylor at this point. How is she doing it? Smoke and mirrors? Tamar also thinks of herself first which seems to be a requisite for admission. Oh, she spends a ridiculous amount of money on clothes, has only worn sneakers in one episode and they probably cost a fortune. She has huge pieces of expensive jewelry so can compete with Adrienne and Lisa. She is attractive and outgoing and probably has had some work done. Plus as a bonus to you this holiday season, I don't think she is addicted to any prescription pills or smokes crystal meth. It is a win/win.

Thanks for listening Andy and I hope you have a great holiday season and good luck on the show.

Enty

20 comments:

Laura said...

Not sure why I feel the need to stick up for Food Network but that fact is not true.

BigMama said...

I don't even watch any of these shows, but after reading his letter, I might start if she is put on that show. LOL

BrandieMarie said...

was this long winded post really just to ask for tamar to be on RHOBH? i want my five minutes back. i could do with LESS of the housewives in general.

i have never bought into the Enty is or isnt a woman. is or isn't one person. and i don't really care because i enjoy the blog. but come on. WE tv and Bravo? I'm not against these channels. I love the wedding shows because I have a wedding planning business as a hobby. But there's other stuff out there besides this garbage. how many women can you really watch argue and tear each other apart before it gets old and redundant?

Carrie L. said...

Having been working from home on & off the last few months after a spine surgery, I found my TV set on Bravo. It's good background noise, but it doesn't make me want to stop working & watch. But I did notice the race issue regarding the Housewives franchises. I have no idea who Tamar is, but the BH cast looks like it could use some refreshing. And I'm not just talking about rounds of plastic surgery for all of them.

Rita said...

Was that a hint to Matthew Broderick reputed same-sex preferences?

Andy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andy said...

"The last thing you want to be doing is working on a Friday and Saturday night and you managed to avoid it."
BUHAAAAAhahaaaaa Best. Line. Ever.

Michael said...

Firstly, that comment about Food Network is incorrect. It has several African American hosts and hosts of other races as well. Secondly, Kim Z on RH Atlanta is white. RH DC had an AA HW and RH Miami has plenty of Hispanic HWs. Research this stuff before you post. This is almost as bad as "Can you die from drinking alcohol?" post.

Rose said...

Doesn't Enty watch all the RH shows? Who does he think Kim is?

Patty said...

This was a "Dear Richard" inspired letter.

B said...

Thank you Enty for pointing that out.I noticed the segregation thing a while ago.There have got to be some Black women in Orange County and those other places outside Atlanta!Do YOUR research Michael.

RocketQueen said...

Laura - agreed.

krista said...

Enty didn't mean that there are only ALL black women on Atlanta... He meant it's the only housewives in which black women are on the cast. Get it ?

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

To be fair, the people who make these shows can only use the demographic available to them in each city, and from that group you get a smaller sub-group that is willing to participate, and an even smaller sub-group that are people that are in the same social circles/connected to the first group and join the show based on them.

imo.

Michael said...

@B: You mean like DC where Bravo had an AA HW. Check yourself because you don't want none of this. Also, Enty stated Food network had no AA hosts and I can name four.

kltx said...

not sure about tamar on rhobh-some one at wetv would kill themselves. Since they finally have a hit.

Tempestuous Grape said...

Enty's such a broad!

Jazzy said...

No way could Tamar be on RHOBH. Have you heard the things that have come out of her mouth? They won't even tolerate Brandi. Tamar wouldn't last 2 mins. She doesn't hang out with anyone else because no one can stand her, her sisters barely can.

Henriette said...

OMG! Saw the Millionaire Matchmaker reunion and it was a hoot! Patti had this weird spangly outfit on and that crazy chick from NY. She is definitely listening to the cries about her being single and a matchmaker. Best reunion show ever!

GladysKravitz said...

I love Bravo and I love Andy Cohen just as much. I think Enty's right on the money with this idea and Andy is going to owe Enty some royalties...

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