Everyday Kris Jenner wakes up and realizes that the minutes on the life of the Kardashian family are clicking louder and louder and that time is almost up. This is of course what all of us look forward to everyday and the first thing I say after saying, “Dear Baby Jesus.”
Kris Jenner though wants this to go on forever. Think about what she did before all of this started. Nothing. She sat around and listened to Bruce Jenner ramble on about helicopters and Wheaties boxes and now she is traveling all over the world and is seen everywhere, all because her daughter was willing to film sex tape. That it is the most boring sex tape ever does not matter.
Anyway, with Kim and Kris Humphries going to split up sooner than later and Kendall and Kyle not yet old enough to make their own sex tapes, Kris is running out of options. Lucky for her, Scott Disick was spotted buying an engagement ring. Presumably it is for Kourtney. Presumably she will say yes. Presumably she and Scott will get their own season on E! as they prepare for a wedding. Presumably I will not see a second of any of this and if I do, it will be because I am stuck in a hospital bed unable to move or utter a sound and will be begging for the sweet relief of prescription medicine.