New Jersey Woman Can't Close Her Eyes

Marilyn Leisz has had a bunch of plastic surgery. A ton of it. So much in fact that her doctors warned back in 2005 that the procedure she wanted done would be dangerous because she had so much work done. Well, the procedure worked, but there is one downside. Marilyn cannot close her eyes anymore. Yep. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Marilyn has her eyes open.

"That's how it is when I sleep. That's how it is 24-7, 365 days a year. All the favorite things I used to, like tennis, racquetball, swimming, horseback riding, bike riding, skeet shooting, gardening, I can't do those things."

Do you do those with your eyes closed? Skeet shooting? Really? I want you to know that when I garden, which is almost never, I always do it with my eyes closed so I know exactly how she feels. Who on earth could possibly ride a bike with their eyes open too? Oh, the horrors if you kept them open. Naturally Marilyn is suing her doctor although no one is sure why she waited 5 years to sue. Maybe she thought it was kind of neat the first few years? You know, kid sneaks in the house thinking everyone is asleep and there is mom on the couch with eyes wide open watching Eyes Wide Open. Wow.

Everyone Is So Excited About Wonder Woman

Apparently there are way too many people with way too much time on their hands. Wonder Woman recently started filming here in LA and as soon as the Justice League nerds got wind of what she was wearing, they turned to the message boards of the world and began to whine. Well, that whining paid off because suddenly a few days later, Wonder Woman showed up in exactly what they wanted her to be wearing and the world was at peace. Just until the invisible plane shows up. How can you complain about that though because you can't see it right? Below is the appropriate costume as judged by Geeks R Us.

Holly Madison Begging For Her Own Dating Reality Show

Did you know that Holly Madison had broken up with her latest boyfriend? Did you even know she had a latest boyfriend? Do you even care that Holly Madison exists? Well, she does and did, and is leaving hints a mile long and wide that she wants a reality show about her dating. She gave Kneepads an interview and says she wants to meet her soul mate and that she is always looking and that she is so busy she does not have time and blah blah blah. Basically she is screaming at producers to cast her in a dating show. She probably would love The Bachelorette but would settle for Rock Of Love the female version. Probably not as much sex in the tour bus, and the guys would probably not all be strippers and escorts.

Meh. I have seen worse ideas.

I Thought Real Housewives Was Done With Cities

With the recent dropping of Washington DC, I thought I read or heard somewhere that Bravo promised no more new cities for Real Housewives. Well, they lied. Kind of. They are open to the idea of a Real Housewives of Toronto and have started casting. Honestly, I think I would have picked Vancouver over Toronto. Yes, I know people in Toronto think they are the center of Canada, but Vancouver has a more Hollywood vibe and maybe we would get another version of Beverly Hills. With Toronto I think it will be a lot like New York and New Jersey. I do think Canada deserves their own Real Housewives and maybe it will not even be shown in the States. I think there is a Real Housewives of Sweden or at least there was a pilot for it, but the funny thing was all the Swedish women lived in Los Angeles.

I'm Tired Of Jersey Shore And They Want A Raise

Does anyone actually watch every episode of Jersey Shore? I don't mean like if you are sitting around on a Saturday and MTV goes through an entire season in an afternoon. I am talking about making sure you are in front of your television each week to watch it or record it. Does anyone do that? I have watched about ten episodes of the show. Give or take one or two. Here is how every episode has gone so far.

Afternoon - Ronnie and Sammi fight while Snooki and Jwoww go shopping. Rest of cast making dinner

Evening - Ronnie and Sammi fight while cast eats dinner

Night - Ronnie and Sammi fight and everyone in cast goes to same club they always go to.

Late night - Ronnie and Sammi fight (usually these are the best fights) and everyone else in the cast smushes.

Late late night - all the women smushees are kicked out.

Now, to star in this activity, most of the cast wants raises. This is to go with their raises from last season and the one prior to that. I don't blame them because this is it for the show. Italy will be it and I am grateful. I wonder if Ronnie and Sammi will fight on the plane over and get kicked off.

Leo DiCaprio - One Day Equals $5M

If you want Leonardo DiCaprio to star in your new commercial you better have just won the lottery. Leo just signed a deal to star in a television commercial for a Chinese cell phone company. Leo will work one day and earn $5M for the one day of work. Well, there is the traveling there and back of course. I mean he has to get a little something for his effort to get there. Can you imagine getting paid that much money for one day of work? This company must be pretty confident that having Leo talk into their phones must be going to make them a whole lot of money. While he is there maybe he can shoot Lost In Translation 2 - Off To China. Too bad Scarlett J is f**king Sean Penn because it could have worked.

Miley Cyrus Trashes Rebecca Black And Justin Bieber

Talk about calling the kettle black. Miley Cyrus gave an interview to the Australia Daily Telegraph and in the interview was asked about Rebecca Black. Rebecca is of course the brand new millionaire who has the awful song Friday. "It should be harder to be an artist. You shouldn't just be able to put a song on YouTube and go on tour." Umm, an artist? Did Miley Cyrus just call herself an artists? Is talking about her craft next? Also, didn't Justin Bieber put himself on YouTube and then got himself a record deal and went on tour because of that?

For the record let us reflect how Miley became and artist. Hard work? Making tons of demo records while scratching out a living as a waitress at Denny's?

How about getting daddy to talk to his record and television friends. Yeah, much, much harder to become an artist that way.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

Which C list celebrity who just starred in a commercial overseas made so many racial slurs during the taping of the bit that the manager waived their fee out of embarrassment?

Fans Take Dead Guy To Soccer Game

Forget sneaking in a flask of your favorite adult beverage to a sporting event. That is child's play compared to what this group of people did in Colombia. Apparently their newly deceased friend was a huge fan of soccer and a particular team. So, instead of just burying the guy with the team colors and playing the team's song at the funeral, they went way way further. They took the dead body, in a coffin, not Weekend At Bernie's style and brought him to a game involving his favorite team.

The Kardashians Have Entered The World Of Redbook

For the past couple of years I have hoped and prayed and lit a million candles in the hopes that the 15 minutes of The Kardashians would tick by really quickly. For now they have been pretty much confined to their little corner of the planet known as E! and people downloading Kim Kardashian's porn video. Not exactly a mainstream audience. Their one foray into the mainstream, Kim's appearance on DWTS went away quickly. Now however, I fear for the worst. They are on the new cover of Redbook. A special family issue of Redbook. My mom, blissfully unaware of most things Kardashian will now open up her mailbox and find the family staring out at her and will enter her consciousness for the first time. I foresee long hours forced to watch marathons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Christmas specials and cookbooks and do not see an end in sight. We all struggled and won with Speidi and the majority of The Hills cast. We are winning the war against Paris. I just don't know about this one though. I think we might lose and be stuck with this family for a very long time.

You Have Got To Be &%$#*&^%(*! Kidding Me

Some idiot over at The Hearst Corporation has decided that what they need more than anything in the world is for The Goopster to have her very own magazine. Yep. You read that right. Get ready for The Goopster to be staring out at you every single month when you buy your groceries. The magazine will be a food magazine which I find really entertaining considering that The Goopster spent the vast majority of her life complaining about food, not eating food, making fun of food, and judging by her weight, probably not eating much of it when she did. Yes, what the world needs right now is her spouting off about food she is probably not making, will not make, will not eat, and convincing the masses she does. If it is as accessible as her newsletter, every item will probably cost a fortune, not be available in North America and only be available by some woman who lives in some corner of the world, grows the food in some window box and sells them for $500 a pound.

No Charges Against Lindsay For Rehab Fight

This was a pretty weak case to begin with and when the accuser took money from tabloids and probably from Lindsay Lohan's people, and went silent, it made it even more difficult. If there is a she said she said incident and no marks and everyone stays silent, what are you going to do? Well, the prosecutors in Riverside County decided they would not be moving forward against Lindsay for the Betty Ford shoving incident. Was it shoving? Maybe it was more like a scuffle. Whatever it was, it is gone now and Lindsay can move on to her various civil trials and her upcoming felony grand theft trial followed probably by a bankruptcy so she can avoid paying her legal bills.

Dancing With The Stars

I think we could all pretty much assume that Psycho Mike would be the first contestant kicked off the new season of the show. With the exception of drunk college kids calling into Loveline, does anyone really know who he is. Unless he came out and danced like Fred Astaire, you knew he was going to be gone. I feel sorry for Lacey Schwimmer because she is one of my favorites and now she will be gone for the rest of the season. I refused to watch last night because of Chris Brown appearing but thought Tom Bergeron was great when he said he would ask Chris Brown about everything if he was allowed to interview him. He wasn't. Also Cheryl Burke said if it were up to her, she would not have Chris on the show. Obviously it was not up to her. Kudos for those two for making the a-hole feel unwelcome. I also thought it was interesting that Chris Brown chose to sing Forever. I think he did that because he wanted people in the audience to associate him with that song because they probably like it. Therefore they would like him. Fail.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

A year ago after a movie premiere this A List star and B list star had a hookup that resulted in a short lived affair, even though both are married. Now, a year later the actress has a new baby and the actor is wondering if it’s his.

Blind Item

This host of an A+ network reality show and producer and radio guy was at a club two weeks ago. At the club he started making out with some random woman he had been flirting with. Apparently most people were shocked not that he was cheating on his D list celebrity girlfriend, but that he was actually making out with a woman.

Kevin Federline To Be A Dad...Again

I know that because of Kevin Federline's expanding girth that he was expecting a baby, but it turns out that girth is just fat and that it is his girlfriend who is expecting a baby. The man who just cannot have enough baby mamas in his life is apparently going to add one more to his growing collection. Not content to let Lil Wayne beat him out in number of baby mamas, Kevin and Victoria Prince are expecting a baby. It's a good thing kids eat free at Denny's.

Enrique Says Adios To Britney

Britney Spears had a huge announcement about her tour and the opening act was going to be Enrique Iglesias. That lasted all of about two hours. No reason was given for the sudden departure, but I am guessing someone told Enrique he would be a full act and not the traditional opener and someone said, no, we just want you to do 30 minutes or some kind of nonsense. Either that or he did not want to be gone from Anna Kournikova that long. You would think that prior to any announcement being made that all of this would have been worked out. Someone will probably lose their job.

Matthew Knowles Stops Living Off His Daughter

Apparently Beyonce thinks she needs to take her career in a direction that does not involve paternity tests, lawsuits and allegations of cheating. No, she is not breaking up with Jay-Z. Instead Beyonce and her father have split ways professionally. I can understand that. I mean at this point how much more money does Matthew need to make off his daughter. He has made himself a fortune off his daughter, and will just have to find new things to do. How much work do you think he actually did for Beyonce? Yes, when she was starting out he probably did, but I bet he has not done much the past ten years other than collect a paycheck.

Rob Lowe Talks Tom Cruise And Charlie Sheen - Goes Topless

Rob Lowe must be pushing like 75. It seems like he has been around that long. Go look at him back in his brat pack days or in Oxford Blues. That was a long time ago and somehow someway he still looks good. Bastige. Anyway, Rob is on the cover of Vanity Fair and in the interview he discusses his new autobiography, which is entitled stories he only tells his friends, but I get the feeling he tells these stories to anyone who asks because they are not that great. Sure, he calls Tom Cruise robotic, but I think most of us think Tom Cruise is a robot anyway, or at least constructed somewhat of some space age alloy. You know, like in that hand chopper thing. Ohhhh, or a Ginsu knife.

He calls Sheen one of a kind and it is all kind of tame. What I want to know is how many drugs were consumed on the set of St. Elmo's fire and who slept with who. Now that is a story you should tell your friends.

Was Foxy Brown Given A Lifeboat?

The hip hop world's version of Lindsay Lohan was at it again this week. Lindsay has a penchant for stealing and Foxy Brown suffers from Naomi Campbell disease. Both are serious afflictions and both have caused each celebrity to serve jail time. Is Foxy Brown even a celebrity still? Anyway, she decided to take some of her dwindling fame and money and go work on a cruise ship. My parents go on a cruise each year. They usually go for two weeks and come back 30 pounds heavier. They seem to like it. I love it because I have the whole house to myself.

Anyway, while on board, Foxy decided she needed a manicure. Well, don't we all. OK, so not me. I love my cuticles the way they are and I am paranoid about getting some kind of disease like Paula Abdul says she got. Foxy made an appointment and when she showed up 3 hours late for said appointment freaked out when they could not fit in her in. She freaked out so much that the people in charge kicked her off the ship. Remember, these people were paying Foxy and she still managed to get kicked off. She was escorted from the ship to a plane and sent back home.

Is Anyone Surprised?

According to Radar, there are hundreds of Christina Aguilera pictures for sale which show the singer in a bunch of raunchy poses including simulated oral sex on just about every object she could find at Nicole Richie's bachelorette party. There are also photos of her in bed with her boyfriend and even pics of Nicole Richie. Not naked, but enjoying some time with a blow up doll. It does not really sound like anything you would not see on some Facebook pages, but with everything that is going on in Christina's world, she probably did not need this right now. The pictures were supposedly found in a Paris hotel room on a memory card inadvertently left behind. Uh huh.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

It’s a sad world when celebrities start teaching their children to lie about what goes on in the home. This B/C actress sent her confused daughter to school who confessed to friends, “Mommy’s boyfriend is pretend.” When the actress found out about it, she was worried the word would spread to her ex. She decided that if her fake relationship couldn’t pass by her daughter, she’d have to step it up, and she’s been working on convincing her daughter over and over that her PR relationship is real, even though it’s not.

Because Your 8 Year Old Needs To Show Off Her Breasts

I guess I should not be shocked anymore, but I am. I guess my biggest shock is that Noah Cyrus is not the one who is plugging this new line of bikinis from Abercrombie & Fitch. Have you seen the new line? The bikinis, designed for girls under the age of 10 come with padded bras. Yep, a push up bra for your 8 year old. All those perverts that hid behind their computers have a new reason to head to the beaches and pools this summer. My questions is who the hell would let their kid wear a padded bra at 8? My second question is A&F must have done some marketing and must think a whole lot of people are going to buy them. Yes, we all know Joe Simpson would have bought them for his daughters, but would anyone normal ever do so?

Darren Aronofsky Comes To Natalie Portman's Defense

Last week, Sarah Lane gave an interview to Entertainment Weekly. No big deal really because no one really knows who Sarah Lane is. Well, she is the body and dancing double of Natalie Portman in Black Swan and says she did 95% of all the full body shots. She also said that she was ordered to be quiet during awards season so Natalie could get all the credit. Well, somehow between Friday and today, Darren Aronofsky had his editor go through the entire movie, count all the dancing shots, and determine that Natalie is actually in 90% of all the dancing shots. "I had my editor count. There are 139 dance shots in the film. 111 are Natalie untouched. 28 are her dance double Sarah Lane."

Do we believe Darren? I don't know. I do know he is probably less concerned about the feelings of Sarah Lane than he is about Academy Award winner Natalie Portman. I don't think Natalie even thanked Sarah. That probably would have been nice. I don't doubt that Natalie worked hard to prepare and to dance, but what is the big deal about giving some credit to Sarah Lane?

Blind Item - Kindness

This B list television actress on a hit network show has gone from one hit show to another. Both of them are still on the air. She also does movies, but they are not usually box office hits. Anyway, with her very nice weekly paycheck instead of spending it on porn stars and blow, she uses one paycheck each month to rent a furnished apartment for a year for a family that comes to her via a homeless shelter in LA. Her contact person at the shelter finds the family and our actress moves them in so the family has a chance at a better life. She has done this so far for seven families and four of them are now paying their own rent.

Barefoot Contessa To See Child

Some good news on the shaming front. The Barefoot Contessa who had previously been unable to find time to see a dying child had some room open up in her schedule. It is amazing how fast that calendar opens up when an entire country calls you out on not fulfilling a child's wish. Ina Garten says now she only became aware of the request this weekend and had no idea that the child had made the wish. Uh huh. Make A Wish probably won't make any waves but that is such a crap statement. She is not that big of a star where she has hordes of people screening things and not passing along requests. The good news is though that she is going to meet Enzo and spend some time with him at Food Network and probably film it and make it an episode on her show and make a couple of bucks off the kid.

DJ Megatron Killed Over The Weekend

While going for a cigar early Sunday morning, DJ Megatron was shot and killed. Until a few weeks ago I honestly had no idea who DJ Megatron was. Then, I was flipping through channels and ended up on BET and saw him on 106 & Park. Well, now it looks like I will never see him again. The father of three decided to go out for a cigar and was shot and killed and police have no motive. Police have determined it was not a robbery, but The NY Daily News has discovered some online comments about the DJ, whose real name is Corey McGriff. The online comments are basically threats against the guy's life. To me this sounds like the most realistic option, but how would the killer know the guy was going out walking in the middle of the night? For whatever reason he was killed, his three kids now have no father. Rest in peace.

White Irish Drinkers

Not too long ago, I got an e-mail from a reader of the site. A fairly long time reader and commenter who wanted to tell me about a movie that she and her husband financed on their own and made and wanted me to go see it. Well, it turns out the movie was written and directed by John Gray. Yes, the same John Gray who created Ghost Whisperer. My first reaction was, "You do know that I make fun of Jennifer Love Hewitt every chance I get right? You still want me to go see this movie with that in mind?" Apparently there are no hard feelings about that and yes, they wanted me to go. Well, when you hear about a movie called White Irish Drinkers the first thing that comes to your mind is probably a bunch of guys sitting around singing Irish songs and drinking. With that in mind, I naturally am going to take my dad and we are going to sneak in a flask of some Bushmills and get loaded and sing songs with everyone. In my family we call it bonding. Well of course, mom was not going to let us all go out without her on a Friday night. Seeing the need for a designated driver we readily agreed.

Well, when we pulled into the Arclight, the flask was almost empty, so the first stop was to the bar. I cannot sing the praises enough of movie theatres that have bars. Bless all of you. Anyway, right away I saw Tim Curry and my mom was like, "who?" I said, "you know, the guy from Rocky Horror." My mom said, "who?" So, I went with Home Alone 2 and she got it. The man has really good posture and much to my annoyance apparently does not make it a habit to go out in public with a corset. Then my dad spotted Tia Carerre and took his 80 something self and shuffled off behind her muttering, "Party on." When a 20 year old does it, she probably finds it annoying but when an old man does it, somehow, it is ok and the next thing you know he was buying her a drink and wondering how he could probably get away from us for the night.

Fortified by more drinks we made our way to the theatre. It was filled with lots of the cast and crew and their friends so it was definitely a pro White Irish Drinkers crowd, but surprisingly few flasks.

I don't like to read reviews about movies before I go in to see them so I really did not know what to expect, but did know that John and his wife (Hi Melissa) spent a great deal of their money making a movie based on their families and lives they had growing up. Well, it is a good thing to know that Ghost Whisperer syndication money is going for something great like this movie.

The movie stars Nick Thurston, Karen Allen (who had Tim Curry practically in tears and ready to give her an Oscar that night) Peter Reigert (Animal House reunion anyone?) and a bunch of newcomers including Leslie Murphy. Yes, there is drinking in the movie, but it is so much more than that. It is the story of a family in the 1970's who are struggling to make it through each day. It has a Good Will Hunting kind of vibe to it and Nick, who plays Brian Leary, is an amazing artist who struggles between wanting to explore his talent and being a good brother which involves criminal activity with his brother who is played by Geoffrey Wigdor who is great. Set among all of this is Karen Allen as the mom who is trying to remain faithful to her wedding vows while dealing with two sons she does not understand and a husband who enjoys getting drunk and beating her.

This is 1970's Brooklyn and you can see John Gray's passion and heart come through in this movie. You can see that he inspired his actors and his crew to give their very best. The great thing about indie films is that everyone is so devoted to making sure everything is real and authentic and this movie succeeds in that. There are no wasted scenes or words. Everything has a purpose. Every character is developed. You can feel the backstories of everyone. You feel what they were living and going through. It is raw and intense and by the time it is over, you find yourself so grateful that someone took the time to make a movie that is actually worth spending your money on.

George Clooney movies notwithstanding, there is no more honest critic when it comes to movies than my mother. This movie had her so excited that she said she was going to sign up for that Facebook thingy just so she could tell people to go see it. She would not stop talking about it all weekend. That alone is good enough reason to go. Her only criticism. Nick, who was at the screening wore a pair of construction boots to the premiere. She said, "Did he steal those from the 90's Ice Cube?" Yep, my mom threw out an Ice Cube reference. Have to love her.

Amy Adams Is Lois Lane

I should have known when I saw Amy Adams in Target last week checking out the Superman videos. I just thought she was getting something for her baby. Damn, damn, damn, damn!!!! Oh, and she looked really skinny. Not freakishly skinny like Tori Spelling, but way skinnier than you would think. Anyway, Amy has been announced as the new Lois Lane. I am sure she will do a fine job. This is not about Amy or a bash on her it is about this never ceasing always rebooting super hero movie thing that Hollywood does. What incarnation is this of Superman? Spiderman? Batman? I think this is the third incarnation of Superman in the past twenty years, second of Spiderman and with Batman's do we count each Batman as a new reboot because if we do we are up to like 8 in the past 20 years.

Please studios, come out with something more interesting, more original. Is anyone just jumping up and down that Amy Adams has been cast as Lois Lane? I last counted there were 31 news articles about it. Really? Are there that many people interested? There were not that many for the Hunger Games announcement and that is at least original and interesting. That is probably why no one was interested.

Yeah, He Is Worth Fighting For

You know, Reese Witherspoon got married over the weekend and she married a guy who by all accounts looks to be worth fighting for. I mean, have you looked at him? Plus he has a good job and a car and all the things that Jenelle Evans' boyfriend does not have. Yesterday, the Teen Mom 2 star was arrested and charged with a variety of things related to her beatdown of a love rival over the unemployed, without a car and seemingly never having any money Kieffer Delp. The video of the beatdown which made its way around the internet was the reason police arrested Jenelle. In the video, Jenelle pretty much uses the other girl's face as her knuckle massager.

Never mind fighting over this guy, tell me how someone with no job and no car even gets a date. This is not middle school. Does having none of those things make him attractive? "Oh, I was going to go out with that hot guy over there, but he makes $100K a year and has a car and lives on his own. F**k that. I want some of that guy over in the corner. He shares a room with his brother at his mom's place, has been arrested a few times, has no job prospects and no car and I can't wait to have mad babies with him."

Yeah, I said mad babies. Not proud, but I said it.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

Nothing to be ashamed about, just a fun and silly fact about this B/C List television and film actress. If she ever does a nude scene, will the makeup artist cover up her third nipple?

Your Turn

This is all about karaoke. Writing about Snoop and singing Gin And Juice made me think about the beloved drinking activity and made me wonder if you sing karaoke and if so, what is your go to song.

Kirstie Alley Rejects George Lopez's Apology - Slams His Cheating

Kirstie Alley is showing some spunk. Fresh off her recent great job on DWTS, George Lopez tweeted a joke which made fun of Kirstie's size. I am all for jokes about cults and Scientology and how she ignores what is staring at her right in the face, but making fun of people because they are overweight is wrong. After a joke about her size he cut to video of a pig squealing. Anyway, George apologized, but Kirstie was having none of it. In a reply Tweet she said, "@georgelopez I don't need or want ur apology...I want your kidney dude..on behalf of ur X and all the women uv insulted...give it back."

That sounds like a very good idea. I also think Twitter should raise the characters to a number higher than 140 because we are dumbing down language even more than it already was.

Will Ferrell - Raw Sexuality And The New Office Boss

So, next season it looks like Will Ferrell will be the boss at The Office. Quoting from the press release, the show runner, Paul Lieberstein, who also plays Toby says, "We are proud to continue The Office's tradition of discovering famous talent, and we hope that once America gets a good look at Will, they'll see what we see, tremendous raw sexuality."

With Will's movie career not doing so hot right now this seems like a pretty good time to have him move back over to television. It is not like he still can't do movies, and he gets to head into a hit show and make a huge paycheck and I think it is the right fit for the show. I sense there will be many opportunities for Will to strip down to a thong and show the word that raw sexuality.

Do you think Pearl will be his landlord?

The Landlord from Will Ferrell

That's Why They Card People

Snoop Dogg is promoting a new drink that is scheduled to go on sale next week. It is made by Pabst and is a fruit flavored drink. Oh, and it also has 12% alcohol. It is probably not something I will enjoy, but for testing purposes will probably have a bottle or two. You know, research. People are already complaining about the drink and are trying to get it banned because they think kids will confuse it with juice. Yeah, and tequila looks like water. Unless of course you go for the gold and then it looks like ginger ale or possibly urine and I don't see kids begging mom to have a glass of pee. Yes, I can understand why kids would go into the store and think it might be juice. So, they open up the door and bring it to the counter and then hopefully the underpaid minimum wage guy behind the counter knows it is booze and asks for i.d.

I don't see how this is any different from any other juice looking adult beverage. No one makes a big deal about any of those. I do wonder though if because Snoop is the one marketing it that people have a problem with that. I think critics should be spending their time talking about something else like how energy drinks can be bought by four year olds but no one says anything. Oh, or how they can buy junk food like pies and candy which will make them possibly obese like yours truly. Focus on those things and not something that has an age restriction. As for the argument that it is trying to get kids drinking at a younger age, there were none of these things available when I was a kid, but it did not stop me from underage drinking. Hell, I remember when there were no liquor ads on tv but it did not stop me from buying booze or at least trying to at every opportunity. What I think all these people should do is go and drink six or seven of these bottles, relax, go to a karaoke bar and sing Gin And Juice.

Angelina Jolie Wrestles Alligators

Last weekend, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt along with all 23 of their children and 45 potential adoptees they are eliminating American Idol style all headed out to Cajun Encounters. Contrary to what it sounds like, it is not where people re-enact Southern Comfort. If you think that is a drink, you are right, and a damn fine one, but it is also a movie which will keep you up for a few nights. Anyway, the brood went out there and watched the alligators. That is pretty much it to the story, so that is why I added the headline about wrestling the alligators. I think it would be pretty cool to see Angelina do that or have all their 45 potential adoptees thrown into the alligator pit and the last one in gets eliminated and sent back to their third world country. But, hey they are willing to throw in free medical care if an alligator took a bite somewhere they should not have.

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Be Known As &%^%

From this time forward, Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she is one of the biggest stars in the world. So, she is dropping the Lohan from her last name and going with Lindsay. Just Lindsay. Oh where do I begin? How about the pretentiousness to think she is as big of a star as Cher or Madonna or Beyonce? Last time I checked Meryl Streep and Glenn Close have a million Academy Awards between them but last I checked they still used two names. Now, if I had the parents Lindsay had, then I would seriously consider dropping my last name too. I mean, who really wants to be associated with Michael or Dina? The faster I could get away from that last name the better. I would think she has other options though. She could go by one of her prisoner numbers. That would certainly make her unique, although deciding between them all would probably prove to be a challenge. She could find a different last name. I like Lindsay Klepto. It has a nice ring to it and would give her an ethnicity factor she does not have right now. Plus, it rhymes with more stuff besides Blohan and it is not a bad stage name for when she starts stripping in a few years. She could go with the symbol thing like Prince did. The problem with that is Prince was always called the artist formerly known as Prince because no one could pronounce his symbol so he really kept his name anyway. Plus, if you did something like that with Lindsay it would have to be something like, The actress who once was in Mean Girls and has been living off that forever. A bit too lengthy for an intro or magazine cover.

Ted C Blind Item

Last week when we told you King Schlong had fooled around with another male celeb for a bit when he was younger, many of you were shocked. Our King is gay?

Just because he diddled a dude once or twice doesn't mean he's a homo, folks. As if! Sometimes fooling around with the same sex is a way to pass the time.

Just ask Cookie Muncher. This superstar has everything: a hunky husband, flawless bod, perfect face...and a taste for women.

No, she's not a lesbian. She just doesn't mind doing the girl-on-girl thing to turn her man—or partygoers—on. Babe knows how to a have a fun time, what can I say.

While at a raging Hollywood house party a while back, Ms. Muncher was dancing up a storm on the pool table.

She always has a way of making sure all eyes are on her (as if being one of the most beautiful women in the world had another affect on people).

So, Cookie Muncher decides to strip off all her clothes while dancing, to the giant applause from the crowd.

Another gal at the party thought that clearly looked like a fun idea. So she decided to take off her clothes and get up on the table with Cookie.

We'll let our stunned party source take it from here:

"Before you knew it, Cookie threw the other naked girl on the table and just started going down on her. For a while too! The crowd went crazy."

Now you know where "munch" comes from.

As for her husband, he looked on lovingly as ever, obviously.

If a guy were to give another guy a blowjob in the middle of a similar party, people would freak. Why is it so much more of a big deal for a dude to dabble than a girl?

And It Ain't: Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham

Barefoot Contessa Hates Child Cancer Patients

I don't know how Ina Garten will ever recover from this one. Make A Wish contacted the Food Network host because a dying 6 year old cancer patient wanted to cook a meal with the Barefoot Contessa. Well, apparently her schedule was just too busy and said no to the child. Wait, it gets worse. How much worse? The first request came three years ago. When the chef said no, instead of trying to get another wish, the boy said to Make A Wish that he would wait. Well, the foundation went back to the chef this year and she said no again. Apparently she is still too busy. How the f**k long does it take to make a meal with someone. I am sorry if you are not going to get paid or that your book tours or other commitments just take too long. How the f**k can you say no to a 6 year old kid who is dying of cancer? How? How? How? What evil planet are you from that you can't find an hour or two over the course of several years for a child dying of cancer?

So, now Enzo is going to swim with dolphins. What a horrible woman.

James Dean Molested By His Minister

A day after the legendary Elizabeth Taylor was laid to rest, an interview she previously gave off the record about James Dean has come to light. Elizabeth had said she wanted it off the record until she died. It also makes you wonder how much else is out there that will be revealed about the life of this woman. You just know that she knew everything and everyone. Elizabeth said that during the filming of Giant, she and James Dean would have long talks and during one of those talks, he confessed to Elizabeth that when he as younger he had been molested by his minister.

"I loved Jimmy. I'm going to tell you something, but it's off the record until I die. OK? When Jimmy was 11 and his mother passed away, he began to be molested by his minister."

Elizabeth went on to say that it affected James Dean at that point in his life and all throughout his life. I wonder if he had lived how big of a star he could have been or if because he died so soon he was an even greater legend then he would have been otherwise.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

This famous celebrity baby mama is currently trying to adopt a child from another country. She’s doing it with good intentions mostly, but we hear she will be trying to broker a deal with the mags for the first photos in order to use the money to fund her already existing children’s college funds.

Blind Item

Although this supposedly had nothing to do with their recent breakup, this A list movie actress told many of her friends that when she was dating her A list movie actor boyfriend that he had the smallest peen she had ever seen on a guy. Like so small that when he did not trim that she had trouble seeing the stump in the bushes if you know what I mean.

80's Blind Item

This diminutive actor was on a huge network hit. His favorite game was finding an extra each week that he could spend the entire week with having sex and then leave them at the end. He did not do it really out of malice, he was just a lonely guy. Anyway, one week, his A list at the time co-star, also had his eyes on an extra and they made a deal. The deal was they would get the producers to bring her back for an extra week so they could each have her for a week. Well, it turns out they both liked her so much, this extra managed to stay on the show for an entire season and even ended up getting a speaking role.

Blind Item

This B- list movie actress who would probably be A if she had any acting talent at all has started looking for a new boyfriend. The thing is since she prefers women it is a little tougher. But, to make things interesting she has offered to throw in her girlfriend too if the guy is willing to pony up and be our actresses boyfriend.

Whoopi Stoned Out Of Her Mind While Accepting Oscar

Back in 1991, Whoopi Goldberg won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar and TMZ has obtained some footage of Whoopi explaining how she was so stoned during the speech that she had to coach herself to walk to the stage. The video comes from when Whoopi was doing some voice over work and how her mom called her because she could tell Whoopi was stoned. Back then I think they gave those awards almost right as soon as the show started as a tease to keep you around longer so I think it is possible Whoopi could have still been really stoned if she smoked the joint right before she went in.

If you want to see Denzel Washington looking really good and Whoopi's speech, click here.

Chris Brown Apologizes - Will Have #1 Album

Apparently the world does not care about Chris Brown being in a competition with Michael Lohan for worst celebrity for a woman to be seen with. Charlie Sheen was disqualified for the competition because he failed his urine test, although he kept insisting it was because he has warlock pee and that cannot be measured. Anyway, Chris apologized for his outburst on Good Morning America, ABC gave him a slap on the wrist and then got on their knees and thanked him for still wanting to appear on DWTS. Then, for good measure, ABC told all the people on DWTS they cannot say anything about the incident to the press and have to pretend that Chris is the most wonderful person in the world. And to top it all off, Chris is going to have the number one album in America this week and the second biggest seller of the year. Way to show those record labels you care about what their artists do.

Do You Blame Crystal Harris?

According to Life & Style, Crystal Harris, who is Hugh Hefner's soon to be wife and sole assembly line worker in the lets have sex with grandpa line, is having sex with Dr. Phil's son. About 60 years younger than Hugh and not reliant on little blue pills and an afternoon nap to stay awake past 7pm, Crystal is supposedly sneaking with Jordan McGraw whenever she gets the chance. Jordan was recently fired from the record label where he was working for having sex with people signed to the label. He sounds like a great guy. I wish them well. When Hef was told the news, he mumbled and said, "Wait, I thought I was still with Barbi Benton."

Lindsay Lohan To Blow The Rest Of Her Money Proving Her Innocence

Lindsay Lohan decided to not take a plea deal in her felony grand theft charge. Instead of going to jail for a month or so, she would rather blow through what is left of her money in legal fees trying to prove she is innocent. If she is convicted she will do a lot more time than a month. Plus, at the preliminary hearing next month if she is ordered to stand trial, which she will probably be, the judge is going to send her to jail for probation violations anyway so what is the point?

Do I think she is guilty? Hmm, I don't know. I do know she has got away with stealing lots of things in the past though so it would not shock me if she was guilty. It is her life and her dwindling funds so if this is what she wants to do, then go for it. I think she is hoping for a better plea deal as trial approaches.

Hayden Chirstensen And Rachel Bilson Want You To Know The Are Finished

What do you do if you are a celebrity addicted to fame but no one is paying attention to you anymore? Well, you rehash something that no one cared about in the first place so at least your name will be relevant for the time it takes everyone to read a paragraph about you and move on to more interesting things. According to the spokespeople for Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson they want you to know their relationship is over. This confirms their previous announcement that they were over that was a rehash of the announcement that they were over. You may now return to whatever you were previously doing and forget about them, because they are over and they really mean it this time.

Michael Lohan Says He Is The Victim

Michael Lohan wants all of you to know he is the victim in this whole domestic violence arrest. He says that Kate Major attacked him when he went to collect some stuff from their apartment and that she was drunk and scratched him and hit him. He was shocked that the police decided to arrest him. Uh huh. He also says that Dr Drew cured him of his co-dependence issues. Uh huh. He also says that although he has not spoken to Lindsay, she was in constant contact with him and gave him messages of support. Uh huh. Just like his daughter it is always the fault of someone else. If this was the first time, then you could think about it for a second but this guy is arrested all the time and most of them involve some kind of violence or issues towards women.

Dancing With The Stars Would Love To Have Chris Brown

Not only has ABC decided not to press charges against Chris Brown but to show they really do love him and think this is perfectly normal behavior, they are still inviting him to perform on DWTS. Now, if you are Chris Brown, you smashed a window, threw a tantrum and exploded, and what happens to you? Absolutely nothing. So, why on earth should you stop such behavior? If you or I did what he had done, we would still be looking at the inside of a jail cell. ABC should be ashamed of themselves. Not only are they condoning his actions by their reaction, but by letting him on DWTS, they are rewarding his actions.

Paris Hilton Hates Black Guys

I think Paris Hilton pretty much hates all people of color. Unless you are lily white I don't think Paris will have anything to do with you. Oh sure, she might pay you to clean up after her dead dogs, but she is not going to hang out with you. Neil Strauss has a new book out which has a great little Paris Hilton story when he met her when she was 18.

HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
Which guy?
HILTON (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.

I guess she and Halle Berry have something in common other than horrible relationships. They both believe in the one percent rule.

Another Elizabeth Taylor Tribute

BuzzFoto Blind Item

We have a D List Actor with addiction problems that has a new obsession. He met a beautiful, young C List television actress at a recent Red Carpet event and maybe spoke two words to her. He was somehow able to obtain her personal information from a friend. He’s now showed up at her house several times, sent her email after email, sent naked pics of himself via text and might have even followed her car once or twice. She initially thought she could deal with him herself but now she is considering getting the police involved.

Elizabeth Taylor Has Died

Oscar winning actress and legend like no other, Elizabeth Taylor died this morning at the age of 79.

David Brent Coming Back To The Office

After spending 30 seconds in a recent episode of The Office and sharing a hug with Michael Scott, David Brent returns to The Office for the season finale. Maybe he can take Michael along with him on his promotional appearances. If you have never seen that final episode of the UK Office, you really need to check it out. It is hilarious. Will Arnett is also going to star in the finale and I think he would be a great boss for next season. Plus, his wife comes on right after him so the Arnett/Poehler clan can take over an hour of primetime NBC. Now, if he could run the company as Gob that would make it even better. No, seriously, Will as Will would be a good fit.

Victoria Jackson Has New Career As Hate Monger

For the second time in as many weeks, the former SNL alum, and do nothing since that horrible movie with Lea Thompson and Andrew Dice Clay, Victoria Jackson has managed to tick off a huge number of people. Last week she went on a rant about Glee and the same sex kiss that Chris Colfer and Darren Criss shared on the show. Because she is usually going to say something controversial, Victoria was invited on CNN to discuss her comments and managed to tick off all the Muslims in the world.

She said that the Muslim-Americans in this country are plotting to take us all down and does not understand why people, especially the media are nice to Muslims. "I just want to know why the liberals are pro-Muslim and pro-gay," she said. "Muslims kill gays. That's what's confusing to me. And the only thing I can come up with is the Muslims hate God and the gays hate his word."

The only thing confusing is her argument because it does not make any sense. I do see a career for her as Dennis Miller's sidekick.

Charlie Sheen Winning On Kimmel

Last night while Jimmy Kimmel was interviewing Mark Cuban, who should suddenly appear but the warlock himself. Taking a recuperation break from his hookers, porn stars, and drugs, Charlie decided to make an appearance that was good, but not warlock worthy.

Michael Lohan Arrested For Felony Domestic Violence

Most of you would not date Chris Brown because you have a fear of being a punching bag. Michael Lohan has also shown that he likes to use women as punching bags too, so I am always shocked that he somehow manages to always find someone willing to date him. This shows to me that if you have even the slightest bit of fame or loose connection to fame that you can get a date. Last night, Michael was charged with felony domestic violence. I thought Michael was on Celebrity Rehab but he must have got some free time because he was charged with not one or two felonies, but three and bail set at $200,000. I wonder if they have father/daughter wings in jail.

Lohan was booked for inflicting corporal injury on a cohabitant, false imprisonment and preventing a report of victimization. So basically he beat her, kept her from leaving the place and would not let her call 911.

So Much For Chris Brown Being Anger Free

I wonder if Chris Brown is on meds and forgot them this morning. If I were him that is the excuse I would g with because this is going to definitely put him right back on Santa's naughty list. By the way, has Santa ever said how you get off his naughty list? Is there an appeals process? This morning Chris Brown was on Good Morning America and was being questioned by the amazing Robin Roberts. Robin for her part says that all the questions she asked were approved in advance by Chris' people. That is nice journalism. I might have to take back my amazing part. Anyway, Robin asked about Rihanna and Chris Brown went ballistic. I think everyone probably rushed to cover their faces and if you were not a weak defenseless person probably started snapping pictures and posting to Twitter.

After Robin asked the questions, Chris decided that a window just had too much glass in it and smashed it. He then took off his shirt to show how tough he is. He then probably found a woman he could start beating. Preferably one without a big brother or dad who would kick his ass.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

This B/C List actor never goes to a Red Carpet event or a club with a date. He never talks about his love life is hardly ever seen with a lady on his arm… but he is far from single. He allegedly has three girlfriends in three different states and two of them have children. He tells each of his lady lovers that he protects their relationship by keeping it private but he is really just concerned about one finding out about the other.

Tiger Woods Has A New Girlfriend

Reports are that Tiger Woods has a new girlfriend. Like all of his other girlfriends, this one is blond and young and loves to Party. Perfect for Tiger. Of course now that is pretty much a description for Charlie Sheen hookups too. Well, he does have Tiger blood in him. Oh, do you think he meant tigers as in animals or Tiger as in Tiger Woods? Anyway, Tiger's new girlfriend is 22 years old, has already had one DUI arrest and surprise surprise is not really all that interested in shacking up with a guy almost 40, but is more interested in having a good time with him. Huh. Definitely sounds more and more like someone who would also date Charlie Sheen. You know, if this whole Tiger thing does not work out, I am sure Charlie is always interviewing people for goddess positions. By the way, I know it is a mug shot, but she looks pretty rough there for 22. I am guessing those were not the first drinks she ever had in her life.

Old Hollywood Blind Item

This Golden Globe winning actress was A+++ list. She was primarily known for television and comedy and for a very distinctive voice. Prior to hitting it big though, our actress made ends meet not in the odd jobs she always claimed in her authorized biographies, but turning tricks. Supposedly it is also how she met her future husband.

Did You Even Know Bradley Cooper & Renee Zellweger Broke Up?

I think most of us are probably surprised that Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger lasted as long as they did. I for one do not really get the appeal of Renee, but she certainly has had no problems in her life getting a lot of guys who are not bad looking. After the disaster that was Jennifer Espositio and Bradley Cooper, I think Bradley needed to show the world he could have a stable relationship and was not the psycho everyone thought he was. Apparently Renee was so into Bradley that she wanted a ring. Unfortunately, like his movie with the same name, Bradley was just not that into Renee. Of course Renee did not have Justin Long advising her so she kept right on trying to date the guy. What? You are shocked I have seen this movie? Research people. Strictly for research. I will say that the scene when Jennifer Aniston comes home and finds Ben Affleck in the kitchen helping is pretty touching. Or at least my mom said it was. She used to think Ben was an ass and then watches one scene of one movie that he did not write and she now thinks he is one hell of a guy.

Wycleaf Jean Shot In Hand In Haiti - Not Shot By Charlie Sheen

Wycleaf Jean was shot in the hand in Haiti over the weekend and it was not Charlie Sheen who did it. I saw that Charlie Sheen was headed to Haiti to bring them his comedy show because I am sure they will all understand and appreciate how a guy who made $2M a week would give that all up to do coke and sleep with porn stars. I mean, I am sure all the people in Haiti will be able to relate to that. Maybe he is going because he is a warlock. Anyway, when I saw the words Charlie Sheen, Haiti, and gun shot, I immediately flashed back to Kelly Preston. It turns out though that Charlie is not in Haiti yet, and that Wycleaf is doing ok and will get back to winning as soon as possible.

Sammy Reminded Me Of A Blind Item

Back in the 90's this group had a couple of big hits. College radio-ish for the most part but they made some national television appearances. Have not done much lately, but they always remind me of liquor so that is good. Anyway, back when they first started touring they had something in their rider about a massage therapist. It turns out they did not actually want massages, but a good rub and tug. Unfortunately they only could ask for one back then. One of their albums even has a picture of one of their therapists in the liner notes. Later, when they could demand more, they would make sure there was one for every band member each night.

Sammy Hagar Abducted By Aliens

I love Rock & Roll tell alls. You know why? Because musicians really don't give a crap who they tick off and they know what their fans expect and want and they deliver. If you want sex, drugs, and all things that are crazy about Van Helen then this Hagar book might be right. Just reading the interview with MTV, Sammy talks about sex tens during concerts, having sex with multiple women at a time during shows!!! This is worse than being in a Hugh Hefner line up. How trashy do you have to be to want to have sex with some guy in Van Halen while the show is going on and knowing you only have a couple of minutes before the next girl is going to be getting screwed and that you are like number six of women that have already been screwed by one of these guys in the last few hours. Crazy.

Not as crazy though as Sammy saying that he has been abducted by aliens. He thinks he has and I don't think it is just an excuse to be able to plug his book on Coast To Coast. He says that he has some unexplained dreams about aliens and UFO's and that he thinks more than one might actually be real. Of course it could be the drugs too.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

There are rumors circulating in Hollywood right now that this aging, beautiful actress is more of a Black Widow than a widow. The rumor is that she had a hand in one of her husbands deaths…. The rumor is filled with sordid tales of money, deception and infidelity, but it has earned her the nickname of “Black Widow” amongst Hollywood elites. It doesn’t stop the men from flocking to her though…..

Radio

There will be no radio show tomorrow. Next week we will be back and in a brand new home which should be permanent!! We have some great great guests lined up for next week and hopefully one you have all been clamoring for. It will be worth the wait. We might even try and do an extra hour just to have one hour of your calls. Plus, I will be feeling better next week. Right now if you heard me, well, you would not be able to hear me through all the coughing. The good news is I lost six pounds this week.

Katie Holmes Got A Sewing Machine For Her Birthday

Apparently Tom Cruise likes his outfits to be hand sewn by Katie Holmes. Well, probably not, but with millions of dollars to spend on fabulous birthday gifts, Tom Coruise bought Katie Holmes a sewing machine for her birthday. It must be time to feed a big bunch of horse crap time to Women's Wear Daily because Katie Holmes or someone pretending to be her told them that she loves to make every place she goes with Suri feel like home and the best way to do that is to set up the sewing machine "her husband" bought her for her birthday.

"My husband got me a sewing machine for my birthday. My mom grew up making curtains and pillows and everything, and it made our home very warm, so I like to do things like that with my daughter."

Yeah, does anyone see Katie lugging around a sewing machine to every place she visits with her daughter? Do I think Tom bought Katie a sewing machine for her birthday? Absolutely. No question. He probably has this little vision of Katie sitting there humming "Whistle While You Work," while she makes matching outfits for the whole family. This is such a bunch of crap. Every few months some story comes out like this to try and show the world this family is like something out of a Leave It To Beaver episode. I don't buy it for a second.

You want to know why I don't buy this for a second? One very interesting clue. The WWD reporter asked for the sewing machine name. Katie said she could not share such details. Please. Such crap.

Lindsay Lohan Parties - Brings Own Bottle

Lindsay Lohan partied her little guts out in New York Wednesday night. After spending some alone time with Samantha Ronson in Sam's hotel room, Lindsay decided she wanted to hang out with people who were on her own level as far as celebrity so she hung out with reality stars. Well considering that Lindsay is the star of her own ultimate reality show this makes sense. Lindsay should have had cameras start following her about two years ago. I don't understand why Dina didn't make that deal. Do you know how much f**king money Lindsay would have made? Would you watch a no holds barred reality show about Lindsay? Hell yes you would. If millions of people are watching the banal and vanilla Kardashian clan each week, you know twice that many would be willing to watch Lindsay. She would have dollar bills coming from every orifice and Dina would finally be able to fix that wretched nose job she got years ago. Oh, and some new color for her hair.

This would have been the easiest money ever. I think the reason they did not is because Dina would have wanted it to look like Lindsay is some kind of angel and goes to church every day and twice on Sundays and close each episode with Lindsay lying on the floor of the church speaking in tongues or healing people.

Anyway, back to the real Lindsay. She spent all night at several clubs and never let go of her water bottle. She also made out with some random dude. I wonder what Sam thought of that.

90's Blind Item

Which original 90210 star had an abortion after she got pregnant by one of her co-stars?

Charlie Sheen Threatens Denise Richards - Makes Big Bucks On Tour

It won't be as easy money as doing Two And A Half Men, but Charlie Sheen is expected to take home about $7M for his 21 concert dates. Meanwhile, in the why he is not always the fun and shiny warlock who is always winning, US Weekly says he threatened Denise with physical harm when she would not provide their two daughters for a photo op. I can't say that I blame her. Would you want your kids to be in that environment? Who ever thought that Denise would be the one who I think should be raising all of Charlie's kids? Charlie's people deny he ever threatened harm to Denise but if her head ever shows up in a box on the front step of her dad's place I am guessing we will know who did it.