Thursday, September 09, 2010

In Touch Goes All Out


It is not often that I compliment a tabloid cover, but this week In Touch has pretty much every possible gossip angle covered. Their lead story is about how Scott Disick is planning a tell all book about the Kardashians which would bad mouth all of them except Kourtney. Is there some question that Khloe is not a Kardashian? Yes, she is two feet taller than the rest of them, but she looks like them I think. Scott also thinks that he should be starring in his own tv show because he is special. So, if he did get one, then he would have got one because his baby mama has a sister who made a sex tape with a D lister. That is really stretching it for fame.

The cover also features Jennifer Aniston who is fighting over a man and also has Sandra Bullock in an indirect way because Jesse James has apparently got Kat Von D pregnant. And to round out the cover, some Real Housewives. The only thing really missing is some Brad and Angelina but they kind of have that covered with Jen. Plus, Brad is inside the magazine cheating on Angelina. They have the pregnancy angle covered and although not a divorce shocker, they do have the fact that Khloe is not a Kardashian and if Scott writes the book and splits with Kourtney that is a separation. I want to know who hooked up with the pool boy. Was it Scott?

27 comments:

Shmooey said...

Is their "reality show" scripted?

I saw an episode the other day where the mother was supposedly putting aphrodisiacs in her man's coffee, but then in a not-at-all expected twist, her son took it and ended up in the hospital with a boner that wouldn't die.

I don't know what would be more stupid - that this happened for real, or that they fabricated the whole situation just for show.

I feel for the younger kids, with such bad examples.

Sorka8 said...

I am not a Kardashian fan in the least, but I think if I were Khloe I would kick this tabloid right in their money belt.

Otoh, they are all probably famewhores so this must be gravy for this family.

When did Kat Vom D end it with Nikki? He still pops up on her "show", such as it is.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I love how they call Kat Von D Jesse's girl when they claim she is pregnant. She's no longer herself, but is merely a possession of this (alleged) racist.

M. said...

I read something yesterday that according to Scott, the dark family secret is their mom slept with the pool boy and that is how Khloe joined the family and how she is not a "real" Kardashian. And also, allegedly why she is so much taller than her sisters...

M. said...

I read something yesterday that according to Scott, the dark family secret is their mom slept with the pool boy and that is how Khloe joined the family and how she is not a "real" Kardashian. And also, allegedly why she is so much taller than her sisters...

Shmooey said...

Sue Ellen, that's what I thought, too. It must suck making a name for yourself for then to be reduced to someone's property.

Jessica said...

If Khloe isn't a Kardashian then Kris had had an ongoing fling because one of the youngest ones, I can't remember whether it's Kendall or Kylie, looks exactly like Khloe. It's the one that was criticized recently for the racy modeling pictures because they said she was too young to be pictured like that.

The Nightmare Child said...

I could have sworn there was an episode of one of those damned Kardashian shows where Khloe wanted proof that she was actually a Kardashian?


I've honestly never though she was a Kardashian...and I think that's why I like her so much.


And I hope Scott does do a tell-all book. I'd read it.



@SueEllen - Kat Von D hasn't been "herself" since she was a little girl. She's a caricature of your typical "L.A. tattoo artist" and a wannabe rockstar. And she's a racist whore with a massive ego and self-entitlement issues, to boot. If anything, I feel bad for JESSE. He's probably going to get four new types of Herpes, Beastman AIDS, Skeletor Syphilis and scabies from her.

sunnyside1213 said...

LOL...Skeletor Syphilis. Wonder if JLo has it too?

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

@nightmare child

I'm picking up what you're throwing down, but whomever she is, or what she's made herself to be, she should still be called by her name. It's a little dehumanizing to me to be called "girl" or "boy" or "it".

The Nightmare Child said...

@Sue Ellen - NOPE. She deserves to be demeaned. She demeans people daily by telling them that they're not good enough to be tattooed by her or that their tat design is crap.

And I think I'm going to call Kat Von D 'IT' from now on. Thanks, Sue Ellen. ^__^

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Bahahahhaha. Touché.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Okay, we've got Khloe and one of the younger sisters who just got some heat after posing for some pictures, and these two look quite a bit alike.

Not taking into account the pool boy theory (which I am open to), are Khloe and the younger sister supposed to be full or half sisters? Isn't the younger one supposedly a Jenner whereas Khloe is supposedly the daughter of OJ's attorney Robert Kardashian?

Neither girl looks enough like Kris for any of this to make sense, so I like the poolboy theory.

RocketQueen said...

While I'm not down with demeaning anyone unless they've got it coming (which may be the case here), I think it's pretty clear the headline is a reference to the Rick Springfield tune, "Jesse's Girl". No biggie.

Revali said...

khloe's a jenner...kris had the affair w/bruce and they ended up together later...thats why khloe looks so much like the younger two girls (body type included)

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Thanks, Revali, for clearing that up for me.

J said...

I always thought that Khloe was for Bruce.

Me thinks Kris had an affair with Bruce on Robert and made Khloe. Rob Jr. was the make-up/i'm sorry baby.

It's painfully obvious that Khloe does not belong to Robert Sr. She's not dark like the rest of the kids and she's a he-bitch(tall). Plus she looks exactly like Kendall & Kylie. I remember they did a "maternity" test on the show to prove that Khloe belonged to the family and I felt at the time to throw people off from questioning "paternity".

Stevie Wonder can see this. I hope Scott confirms.

Meg said...

I've never heard the Khloe paternity rumors before!

@Shmooey - I saw that episode & it seemed totally scripted, even more so than the usual.

The Nightmare Child said...

@J - Good observation.

Anonymous said...

Ummm isn't Kat Von D the one who went on and on about how she got her tubes tied when she was 26? I think I remember that interview somewhere....

Shmooey said...

@MCH - I've watched a couple of episodes, and all scenes look like a really bad, AmDram soap opera.

Meg said...

@Schmooey - This past week's episode focused on two plot lines: "Bruce n' Kris are in a fight" & "Khloe lost her engagement ring". Half an episode on a lost ring that was in the dryer. Riveting TV :)

Shmooey said...

@MCH - Another thing I've noticed is their strange accent. It's a whiny drawl that stretches the vowels, e.g:

"Iii dooon't knooow what Ii'm going to doo abooout Scoooott."

"Kourtneeeyy doesn't understaaand she neeeeds to geet riid of Scoooott."

"That was sooo disrespeectfuul, to slaap Scooott acrooss the faace."


Is this a Kardashian thing, or is it just the general L.A. accent?

Meg said...

@Shmooey - heehee, yeah, their accents kill me. I have no idea if it's an LA thing or not? Chelsea Handler had a really funny skit re: them & a "bah-tled wah-ter" line that "Khloe" or someone was coming out with. I tried to find the video for ya, but couldn't find it.

J said...

Have you ever counted how many times they say "like"?

It's every other word. I counted once and got 33 before a commercial break.

They are ALL nincompoops, such a tragedy that this is where the world is.

They can't even form a proper sentence, for crying out loud!

Shmooey said...

@MCH - Mad TV has got their demeanour, whiny voice and Bruce's facelift down pat:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eGSH-VZeVg


The vowels, though, still need some more streeeetchiiing.

Meg said...

@Schmooey - LOL!! That was great. I love Arden Myrin. They really did have an episode once with a homeless guy...although I don't think he was blind. But they had about the same attitude.

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