Thursday, January 14, 2010

Gwyneth's Brain Drives Her Mental


Ahh, Gwyneth. I am so glad Gwyneth Paltrow is writing her newsletter every week. She always gives me something to write about. This week, Gwyneth shares the news with the rest of the world that her brain drives her mental. It is apparently causing her so much grief that she has made meditation her resolution for the New Year. This was a shock to me. Not that fact that her brain drives her mental but the fact that she was not already a meditator. I figured somewhere along the line she must have taken it up, but hey, I was wrong. It is something she is picking up now for the first time. Why?

"My friends who do it say it’s really freakin’ brilliant. They say you can’t know the peace/awareness/contentment until you do it."

Well, I can't wait to see her report back to us about how wonderful it is. I am just shocked that she actually suggested people do something that doesn't cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to do. I find that for me to get peace awareness and contentment all I really need are a good meal and a nap.

29 comments:

MnGddess said...

She makes me ashamed to be a Libran...

Patty said...

I wish she would shut her pie hole.

MISCH said...

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT BLYTHE DANNER SPAWNED THIS CREATURE ...

jax said...

haha..some blogger has decided to follow Goop like Julia and Julie and blog about it..i think its Coop & Goop.

Vikingwench said...

That. Dress. Is. God. Awful.

Babs said...

Praise God that He has sent His messenger to enlighten us.

Not.

Goodgrief said...

That dress is hideous.

Unknown said...

What is up with her chest? I mean she's so skinny in a non-natural way and her torso it's weird

Pookie said...

teehee, Babs!

*rofl*

RocketQueen said...

@jax -that's awesome and I'm off to find it.

Oh, Gwyneth, how can your brain drive you mental? Don't you know you're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of men. It's science.

pusssykatt said...

I've disliked her for so long, but almost pity her. She's so desperately searching for something and it seems like she's looking under every rock that she passes. She and her friends must be the most vapid people in the world...with nothing but time and money to fill their empty lives. No wonder Chris sleeps around.

GladysKravitz said...

I saw this dress and I thought she was wearing some odd porn version of a French Maid outfit. Silly me. Turns out just to be her normal bad taste.

I'm sure she'll figure out a way to spend thousands of dollars on meditation, Enty, and then pass it along to her readers as "tips." I can see it now:

"Listen, darlings, I use a small solid gold Buddha as my talisman while I meditate. I rub his head before I begin and then place him so that he is aligned with my third eye, which I've painted on my forehead with sterling silver paint (the Aztecs said that sterling silver increased our cat-like instincts). You can buy the gold Buddha at any common store, such as Harrods, and the silver paint is available by mail order for only $129.99 a quarter ounce."

MISCH said...

THE DRESS MUST BE ONE OF STELLA'S....

sunnyside1213 said...

If she had to wear that ho stroll dress, she should have ditched the panties. Not her worst hour, but pretty close.

Jingle Belle said...

She probably has a "Guru" who charges thousands per hour to help her meditate and she'll be pushing his/her services on everyone.

Lisa (not original) said...

She's wound too tight to be a "meditator". Maybe it'll do her some good. Can't wait for her tips, though. lol

nancer said...

this dress reminds me of the old days when women's undies had to be worn OVER clothes in ads. you know---back pre-victoria's secret, in the bronze age.

califblondy said...

Guapie said the f word? I'm shocked.

Linnea said...

Doesnt it look like a jean paul gaultier perfume bottle?

Reese said...

Perhaps her new found sense of calm can help her make better wardrobe choices. That dress is truly abominable.

ellie said...

Gwyneth proves, once again, that she really NEEDS to invest in a mirror!

TinselSass said...

Enty, no shock that Goop doesn't meditate. Everything about how she lives, or at least blogs, about her life suggests NO PERSONAL AWARENESS, DEPTH, PEACE. She is complete show and tell. And that's why her desire to be the "next lifestyle guru" is failing. Ommmm... indeed.

selenakyle said...

Her smug face makes me mental.

warmislandsun said...

It's a dress that a 12yr-old-boyish figure wears to give the appearance of feminity and curves.

Anonymous said...

I really can't stand her. She is always putting her foot in the wrong way.

Anonymous said...

Lol GladysKravitz.I was thinking along the same lines. A special meditation mat hand woven with ionized wool off of the rare tibetan meditating sheep. Guaranteed to connect you to inner peace. Only $1000 each, and you absolutely must use a new one each day, as the wool collects all your negativity...

Unknown said...

Was she always such an insufferable twat? I haven't been paying attention.

Genesis said...

mental...brilliant...here goes another one for the faux british accent group.

mags said...

Gwyneth, your brain drives me mental too.

Can you get help for that?

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