Golden Globe Snark
Last night I was suffering the effects of a very long weekend capped by six hours of football watching with my dad. Six hours of football watching with my dad goes something like this. Drinking and more drinking interspersed with yells when the channel surfing during commercials results in a late arrival back to the game. Needless to say, I was in no condition to watch any of the Golden Globes. One of my friends was texting me and her texts were so funny that I just decided to let her keep texting and I would doze until 24.
3:58pm - It's pretty dress time
3:59pm - Although it's raining on all the dresses and Louboutins!!
4:11pm - Colin Firth is wearing Tom Ford and I'm leaving my boyfriend for him the first chance I get.
4:22pm - I love Emily Blunt's dress. And Diane K looks beautiful of course.
4:30pm - (I had asked her to identify the best dressed when she first started texting) Just in my opinion Emily Blunt and someone named Lea Michele.
4:34pm - Drew would look gorgeous but there is a fungus growing out of her hip.
4:41pm - Christina Hendricks looks like a goddess. Mariah looks tacky as hell. Put your saggy boobs away for once.
4:45pm - George Clooney's girlfriend is beautiful. Gorgeous dress. Too bad about the arm band tattoo. You can't take the trash out of the girl.
5:02pm - Ricky G equals funny and can I just say how ridiculous it was for Nicole Kidman to talk about wearing a ribbon for Haiti. It just seems all so self righteous.
(There was a gap here which is a shame, but my fat fingers hit the delete button)
7:06pm - Drew Barrymore is SERIOUSLY. FUCKING. ANNOYING.
7:08pm - I was a fan of hers until tonight when I learned that she is a shitty actress and couldn't pretend to be humbled in her speech if her life depended on it.
7:10pm - I dare you to try and get through her whole speech. Ricky Rules!! He made fun of Mel's drinking.
7:12pm - One person stole the show. Jason Reitman's mother!!
7:12pm - James Cameron and Mel are neighbors.
7:14pm - Holy fuck. Is Cameron speaking pandoran?!?
7:16pm - Why have I not seen Glee yet?
7:22pm - I love how in Hollywood you can beat and rape a woman and bite a man's ear off and still be celebrated.
7:24pm - Why have I not seen 500 Days Of Summer?
7:35pm - Sandra cried while thanking her husband for being the first person to have her back. Cutest. Thing. Ever.
7:38pm - Pretty sure Drew and Cam are no longer bff's.
7:42pm - I want to have Kate Winslet's babies.
7:51pm - Julia Roberts is druuuuunk
7:52pm - Avatar won. Cameron is once again king of the world!!
7:54pm - God bless the free Moet and FYI James Cameron your hair doesn't make you look younger. That's it for me. Peace out.
8:00pm - It's been great to spend my Sunday night watching rich people congratulate themselves.
46 comments:
MEh the whole thing left me.....cold. Ricky wasn't as funny as i thought he'd be - although making fun of both Angelina and Jennifer was good - but most of his jokes fell flat.
The dresses - were ok - no one really stood out. Yes julia Roberts was druuunk....and loud ....the speeches were crap and WTF was up with Felicity Huffman was she trying to be funny or is she that much of an idiot she couldn't remember her lines - i couldn't tell.
Lets hope the Oscars bring the class.....
This isn't the first drunkscapade for Roberts. What's up with her these days? She seems to have discovered an unshakable confidence in her position in H'wood and she's not going to be polite anymore. I couldn't decide if she was great or so full of herself she couldn't keep it all in.
I've never seen Glee either! I was afraid to confess it until I read that Enty hasn't either.
Julia Roberts seemed a hot mess to me.
I need to know more bout Cameron and Drew. Enty, get on that please?
Dlisted's drunk blogging last night was made of awesome. I checked in every now and again. Michael K was on fire. Love.
ha! julia was a mess because she turned down both The Blind Side AND the Proposal and Sandy Bullock WON!!
ha julia! she even drunkenly slurred that to Billy Bush.
Too bad your fingers hit the delete button, I wanted to know what you thought about Mo'Nique's speech. She could have left that part about her husband out, but the rest was beautiful.
That '24' escapist crap bumped off my reality based 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad'!
Loved Chris Waltz's speech.
Predict other guys will be no-shows at Oscars.
Why bother.
Hated Streep's.
Dammit! I missed the first 2/3 hours but caught the red carpet and thought even THEN that Julia seemed drunk. She looked great, though. I agree with Kat - she's got some kind of 'untouchable' thing going on. Pride, Julia, pride!
I'm pretty sure those were the texts I sent my brother.
I've been saying Drew B. was a smug bitch for years, glad everyone else is finally catching on. Oh, and she SUCKED in Grey Gardens.
Speaking of smug, glad Tarantino got shut out, but I wish Up In The Air beat Avatar in Director and Best Film cuz I hate James I'm On My Fifth Wife Cameron.
You know what was funny? Aniston's bitchy jealous face when Sandy B. win her Globe.
I laughed and laughed.
I missed the GG last night not the awards but the dresses I like to watch that the rest I don't care. I saw the video on Horsemouth Julia really can't stand her. Didn't see anything funny in what she was saying.
jason,i though the part about her husband was the beautiful part. :o)
Love the first-hand (or rather second-hand) account on the GG from Enty's friend - saved me a couple of hours from watching it live. And I must confess I've never seen Glee either, though I think Jane Lynch is great.
Jax - thanks for the birthday wishes yesterday ! (at least i think it was you LOL)
i usually love meryl streep, but man she is falling in love with herself a little too much for even me.
and IMO that chris waltz globe/planet metaphor bullshit was ridiculous.
This was fun to read!
I didn't watch the show but I PVR'd it so I am going to watch the highlights tonight. I caught the red carpet show though, and I too noticed that Julia Roberts seemed drunk and like kind of a bitch to be honest. Party in the limo with the Hanks'!
And Billy Bush...what a douche!!!
In other snark, Gawker is reporting January Jones and The Piv left together. Ewwwwww!
Sandra's speech was a highlight for me and I loved how Jesse immediately got emotional as soon as she mentioned him.
I also liked the exchange between Meryl and the hubby who have been married like forever.
Pierce Brosnan's reaction to Kate Hudson was interesting.
And Drew? WTH? She was just as bad in an after show with Guiliana on E! I talked about it with someone and whether Drew is trying too hard to come off as intelligent.
I thought Ricky was funny as hell. Drew should take a lesson in how not to take yourself too seriously.
The substance they were all drunk on was their own wine. Julia, Meryl, Drew et al were nearly comatose from it.
I think Julia Roberts was "acting" drunk it just smacked me as phony. Like look at me big movie star acting like a "normal" person.
Ain't buying it.
And her NBC is in the toilet also seemed staged. She knew she was on camera and it was live. Nothing is sponataneous for people like these.
@califblondy - what was Pierce's reaction?
The camera did a quick shot of him when Kate walked out and it looked like he liked what he saw.
I read a live blog on Vanity Fair and one of their bloggers made a comment about it too, so I guess it wasn't my imagination.
Nice ;) I have read rumours that apparently his wife is actually into women, but they love and respect each other so maybe that's enough to make it work. I think it was a Lainey blind? Anyway, if he hasn't had any for a while, I suppose Kate might look good ;)
Oh, I didn't know that about the wife. I remember how sad it was when his first wife died. Maybe he needed a good friend? I've seen The Thomas Crown Affair a jillion times because Pierce is so damn sexy. I watched Mama Mia again this past weekend and this time I didn't laugh when he sang. I can't hold it against him; he tried.
500 Days of Summer and Glee are awesome, so you should definitely see those!
I missed Julia Roberts drunkness but she did look "tired" wrapping it up at the end.
Yay for Sandra Bullock. Love her.
I am not a fan of James Cameron's hair. I feel like I have to see Avatar because its getting so many good reviews/awards but it just looks so unappealing to me.
Pierce Brosnan is just an ideal man. I love him! LOL
I used to love Julia Roberts but now I'm so over her. Can't explain why but she seems smug.
Thanks for telling me that Pierce's first wife died. I too love that man.
Cam and Drew used to be bff's but sometime last year (around awards season) they stopped hanging out together. Someone suggested that maybe Drew was on drugs so Cameron pulled away from her.
I enjoyed Ricky Gervais and thought he was funny.
When Jason Reitman was accepting the award and thanked his parents. The camera went to them and his mother had an odd look on her face like she
was pissed off at something. It was interesting.
Is there a video up yet of Sandra Bullock accepting? I did not watch the GG's last night! and I <3 her!
When Michael C. Hall won and they cutaway to Bill Paxton telling his table what looked like "I lost to cancer" was classic.
Is there a video up yet of Sandra Bullock accepting? I did not watch the GG's last night! and I <3 her!
I think she died of ovarian cancer and she had two young children from another marriage/relationship that that I think Pierce raised after she died. I love him.
i think the story about his wife being into chicks is a BS rumour..because no one wants to believe that hot piece could be with a woman bigger than a size 6.
heaven forbid a man should love his wife in Hollywood!
Pierce's wife is gorgeous, IMO. They're usually together and I was surprised that she wasn't there last night. Or maybe she was, but wasn't on camera? I'm still seeing pictures of people that I didn't see last night like David and Tea. There seemed to be a lot of shots of Julia talking to Paul McCartney.
@califblondy~she is gorgeous! she is probably a size 14 or 16, so she gets slammed in the tabs alot for being huge! it make me respect Pierce so much, because when he is with her, they look like they really enjoy each other.
I'd never even heard of Glee before last night. On what channel does it air? Must be Nick or Disney, I guess?
A lot of the so-called stars were pulling that, "I'm just an ordinary person... look, I care so little for award shows I'm not even going to fix my hair!" (Julia Roberts, Fergie, et. al.)
Glee is on Fox, Mango. It's a great show -- check it out if you get a chance!
Glee comes on FOX and one night I got a chance to see it and loved it. Unfortunately I'm not home on Wednesday evenings to see it.
@califblondy thanks for the update on Pierce's wife and I also agree that his current wife looks good with him. I've seen pictures of them on the beach with their children and hope they're happy because they certainly look like it.
If you miss Glee on Wednesday nights (I always do), it is on Hulu; several back episodes online. It is a great show; always worth seeing.
I though you might enjoy some additional GG snark. Here is a small sampling of what a friend (@FatboyRoberts) tweeted with the newest first -
While she's talking about sculptors, she should call out the hacks who chopped up her face #sandra bullock #goldenglobes
Jesse James has been here before - His last wife accepted a lifetime achievement award at the AVN's. Classier production #goldenglobes
Dees ehs aveedah! <-- The governor of California introducing a clip that proves Zoe Saldana deserves a best actress nom #goldenglobes
Someone else tweeted it, but I gotta agree - Cameron looks like Bea Arthur now. #goldenglobes
I thought Cameron speaking his kittylanguage would be the WTF move of the night. And then Mike Tyson presented an award. #goldenglobes
now to see if the acceptance speech will be autotuned #glee #goldenglobes
OH SHIT HE'S QUOTING HIS OWN MADE UP LANGUAGE Thank you, you crazy bastard, Cameron #goldenglobes
someone with tivo, go back and rewind to Paxton's reaction shot after Hall won - I'm no lip reader, but that's what it looked like.
Did Bill Paxton just say "I knew it wasn't going to be me, the dude's got cancer?" #goldenglobes
missed the show...off to youtube.
That was really funny!
Julia Roberts is a heinous bitch.
I always stupidly get turned off when everyone talks about how amazing some show is (I didn't start 'Veronica Mars' until season two!!!!) but 'Glee' really is a joy to watch. I can't decide though if I want to smack Lea Michele upside the head for being such an egomaniac or enjoy the fact that she's so much like her character.
Oh, and I'm terrified to watch this season of '24' because I think it's likely that they're going to kill Jack off and it's going to totally break my heart. :'(
@Jax - ooorrrr...you just totally hate anything that comes from Lainey :P
cosino - she wasn't pissed, she was surgeried up the wazoo. She looks like Jocelyn Wildenstein.
Julie Roberts is a DRUNNNK, I guess that husband she stole didn't stop at cheating with her, and now cheats on her *coughcabocough*. Bad marriage with a man who loves her money and not her didn't work out so well for little miss perfect.
She's a nasty egomaniac.
Oh yeah, and Bill Paxton? Classless, MC Hall deserved to win.
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