Monday, November 03, 2008

About Damn Time

Some of you may have been wondering wtf was going on Friday afternoon. No, Four For Friday and everything late. Well, believe me, if you saw some of the peen that I decided to not post on FFF, you would not have had the stomach to worry about any missing blind items. Friday just happened to be a very busy day for me and I also had to leave work early to catch a flight and so things just got frantic at the last minute.

Normally I don't really talk about my trips unless it is to Vegas or some other suitable place of debauchery, but this time I thought I would share a little something. It all started a few weeks ago when I found out I was going to have to go to Vancouver for business. I don't really like flying much anymore because I have been shunned to the two seat section. For those of you who are wonderfully thin, it means the airline makes me buy two seats so some poor thin person doesn't have to get stuck next to me.

Anyway, once I knew I was going to Vancouver, FW told me that I had to finally meet jax. As a frequent reader, FW knows all about jax and said if I was going to be in Vancouver, that the least I could do was to ask her if she wanted to go to lunch. FW is good that way. She has manners and grace and I don't. Before I get into lunch with jax, I need to say that I finally caved and told FW how I felt about her. It was a hard thing to do because FW has a lot going on in her life and certainly doesn't need me to complicate things. I want to make her life easy, but a 400 pound man with six ex wives carries a lot of baggage. FW has a very nice, safe existence right now and getting together with me, is not necessarily a joy worth experiencing.

I think another issue is I have this blog and she reads it. I can say what I want and she really can't. I'm a very big guy, and an adult and am going into this with hope, but again, I bring a lot to the table. If it doesn't work out, it is not FW's fault. It would be 100% mine. I really hope that someday she will write something on here. She is probably the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. She puts up with so much crap from me and so much of my drama, but is always there. Any mistakes that have ever been made in our friendship have all been mine.

Wow, that was more than I intended. And, I know all of you want to hear about lunch. So, I e-mailed jax and she was all for it. One of my friends was going to be visiting Vancouver and agreed to go so that way there wouldn't be any awkward pauses. Well, for some reason Friday night I got my drunk on. I know, I know, but I found myself at a Denny's at 7am, and drinking wine straight from the bottle in my hotel room at 8am. My friend came over around 11 because she wanted to take me to this cool place called Bacchus. Of course there we drank a bottle of champagne and I had two or three other drinks and the next thing you know I am 30 minutes late for my lunch with jax.

Well, lunch started out at the art gallery where we could test the waters in a public place, and frankly it is good for me to walk sometimes. I don't exercise much. So, the three of us walked and talked and looked at feminist exhibit which seemed to feature an inordinate number of female sexual organs in very large sizes.

But, then it was time for lunch. My friend knew of a place that had great drink specials, so we went to some place called Cactus Cafe and my friend and I blew through six drinks each and a massive amount of food while jax just sipped her one drink biding her time. Waiting to pounce.

Well, I guess the plan was to get me hammered, and my tongue loose and jax wanted to be sober for that. Four hours of questioning later, another 5 drinks and a waitress who looked like Reese Witherspoon in Election and about as f**king cheery and it was time for my nap. So, they rolled me out to a cab and shoved me inside. I have to say that I loved meeting jax, and that I appreciate her and all of you that make this such a great place to be everyday. I don't even remember everything I said or revealed, but do know when I left I was sweating even more than normal. So, you never know. If I have some business in your city, you never know when you might get an e-mail asking you out to lunch too.

110 comments:

mooshki said...

OMG, Jax, I want all the dirty details, now!!! :)

kris said...

I'm in Madison, WI and I'll buy lunch.

Now I have to call Jax.

Little Blue Pill said...

Oh jax....tell us EVERYTHING. Or at least point the way to YouTube, is it up yet? LOL

Little Blue Pill said...

Btw I'm in LA. Should I have lunch with Enty or run the other way?

Psychos are Nuts said...

So, Ent,
Fancy a foray into darkest Africa?

merrick said...

awesome story .. if you ever get the chance to come to the home of the 2008 F*&ng World Champion Philadelphia Phillies .. drop me a line and let me show you around our great city!!!

now spill jax ...!!!

bramblewitch said...

Enty, i'm in Miami, and waiting.

mooshki said...

I almost forgot to ask, Enty, did you get a little smoochy action after your big confession?!

Anonymous said...

Hey Jax do you need a new BFF lol. Spill your guts out on this luncheon LOL.

Enty, do you ever travel to laredo, TX. I know probably you have never heard of Laredo and no we are not in Mexico we are right next to them LOL.

Little Blue Pill said...

Yea should I meet Enty or pray for downtown traffic? LOL

Jeannies Bottle said...

Good luck with FW...I don't know the whole story here, but I wish you luck cuz you sound sincere and I believe you do love her, you sound so sweet when you talk about her. Hope it works out.

JJ said...

There are way too many of us in Philly NOT to stop by for a drunken lunch. Come!

selenakyle said...

All right Jaxey-baby...

COUGH UP THE GOODS!!!
What's he like?
Is he Chunk from the Goonies?
Is he really fat and is he really even a "he?"

And good luck with FW, Ent, sincerely.
Love you, mean it!
sk

captivagrl said...

Where are you philly girls taking him.....Pat's or Gino's? I'm from philly and my fave was always The Saloon.

Maja With a J said...

Haaahahahaha...awesome! Could've picked a better restaurant though ;)

jax said...

sorry kids...my lips are sealed.
i will say that Enty did not dissapoint! good times were had by all. dude likes his booze.

come on..i wasn't that persistent was i??? lol...

The Adventures of... said...

That was a funny post! Any word back from FW? Good that you're not pressuring her. Fingers crossed for a happy ending (clean edit, clean edit!)

If you're in London, give me a bell Enty. 'early' drinks on this side of the pond aint no problem:-)

Anonymous said...

Oh what a cool story. Enty, you are going to have lots of readers asking you to come to different cities.

MontanaMarriott said...

AWWW FW, my rival lol.
Just kidding you big hunk of a man.
Hey whenever you are in NYC, hit mama up, OPEN BAR on me, ANYWHERE YOU WANT STUD!

Now Jax, email mama directly and spill it sistah, I want to know all the reveals, NOWWWWW!!!

merrick said...

Love the saloon myself .. but i was thinking more drury lane mcgillans .. then a stop in south philly for snacks .. then to a local after hours joint .. then breakfast at the mayfair .. and start all over again!

GauchoGirl said...

Enty - there are a ridiculous amount of "All you can drink" brunches in NYC. The only catch is that they usually cap you off anywhere between 2 to 4 hours. It will be my treat if you're out in NY!!

Kristen S. said...

Did you sign an Non-Disclose, jax? ;)

I get dibs on the next Washington DC visit!!

selenakyle said...

I'll take him out in the boat to check the crab pots, but only if he brings his own life jacket cuz ours aren't XXL...

WriterMommy said...

This is great! I live in Columbus, OH, but nobody ever comes here unless they want people to vote for them. You know...we're a flyover state.

But Enty, if for some reason you ever come here, let me know! :)

marilyn said...

Come to Miami, Enty buddy, and I'd be very honored to do lunch with you too!

Unknown said...

Any chance you'll be in the Niagara Falls vicinity any time soon? ;)

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kimmypie1 said...

San Diego is such a lovely place to visit....

I hope it works out with FW!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Greg said...

God all you fat housewife's are so boring.. Responding to banal comments. Ugh.. Had some downtime betweeen ELLEN and OPRAH??? lol I'll await your fat, greasy replies. And pick one lucky fatty to repond too!

Unknown said...

I hate to sound cynical, but I don't buy any of this for a second.

I love the blog, but I find all the pseudonymous characters and supposed meet-ups (anyone remember CDANCON?) fishy as hell.

CDAN Mod said...

oohh, the pr peeps attack!!

i bet jax signed a non-disclosure too, kristen.

Anonymous said...

I'm outside Venice and I know some good joints around here to eat. How do you feel about horse meat ENT? ;)

Anonymous said...

Well, at least Jax confirmed ent was a guy ("dude").

Lucky!

hotchacha said...

Enty,

What a great story!

I was in Vancouver on business recently too and got my drink on at the Cactus Cafe too, right across from the Hyatt where I was staying. Delicious drink specials. Dangerously good.

Pass through Toronto and hell, I'll buy the lunch.

Unknown said...

I wouldn't take anything as a confirmation until a video is posted, and that's never going to happen, heaven knows.

I can't understand the point of these made up stories--they really are the least entertaining posts--but whatever. If it makes Ent/his initialed characters and Jax/etc. happy, I guess that's all that matters.

Emobacca said...

Yeah Im not buying this either. Im still not convinced Ent is who he says he is.

mooshki said...

Hmmm, Susannah, making the blogger and his most loyal readers happy? Yeah, actually, that does sound like all that matters. :)

jax said...

"I love the blog, but I find all the pseudonymous characters and supposed meet-ups (anyone remember CDANCON?) fishy as hell."

we're all pretty fucking real Susannah, no need to be cynical.

as i said before sorry can't say anything. just enjoy the damn blog.

Unknown said...

Yes, Mooshki, I believe that IS what I said.

Unknown said...

Jax, I don't mind that you "can't" say anything. I know these faerie stories are all in good fun. No need to get all bent out of shape about it.

liveunderarock said...

Enty, You are a miracle worker for writing a post that semi-shuts jax's mouth.

If you'll have lunch with her everyday, I'll pay for all the booze you'll need and for your stay at Promises or Betty Ford.

califblondy said...

Ent knew Jax would never spill and that's why he hooked up with her. He may be calorically-challenged, but he knows who to trust.

Ent couldn't afford the bar bill if we ever met up.

Unknown said...

Jax has finally taken over as queen bee over last year's Twisted Sister....

Gillybean said...

My vote goes for a visit to Chicago!! I know there are others on here (Molly) that would agree.

And I can hold my own on a liquid lunch. Do it all the time... :)

Anonymous said...

greg, it's not nice to say everybody here is fat unless you know them for sure.

jax said...

i'm not taking over anything,nor do i want to. i'm not falling for the "let's piss her off so she'll tell us something routine"

i like to read a blog and comment (like everyone fucking else) and hardly comment that often anymore yet that's enough to warrant such BS? grow the fuck up already.

you people need help and a shit load of attention apparently.

done here..next!

Mistik said...

Jax, honey, I've got your back on this one (not that you need the protection!). And susannah leigh, are you another one of those anons who come to the site strictly to bash? As someone who did go to CDANCON, and knows there is a real person behind the EL "pseud"... maybe you should stick to Perez's site.

Ms. said...

I love how a troll goes through the effort to register multiple IDs to comment twice on the post... and even makes a point of complaining that other people post.

Enty, you're as subtle as a brick concerning FW. Ease up on the pressure, babe. That can backfire.

That said, hope it works out.

Winston Ono said...

Wow, how quickly it turned! Anyhoo...I like the Saloon.

Anonymous said...

LOL@troll

Unknown said...

Mistik, I don't doubt there's a real person behind EL, I just doubt how real that real person is. Besides, didn't Hez make a big point of saying he didn't meet anyone at the CDANCON? So how would you know if he is who he says he is?

By the way, I actually think it's very sweet that Enty is so fond of Jax he's willing to allow her to publicly participate in his fantasy life. If he gets tired of her, maybe he can move on to one of her other screen names.

Oh, I'm sorry--I meant one of the women she's training to peruse gossip blogs so they'll be prepared to re-enter to workforce.

(Am I the only person who remembers the time Jax was outed as having Multiple Screen Name Disorder? Her cover story was so foolish, I laughed myself silly.)

Rare Avis said...

Oh my my my. The only thing fishy here is that Jax had 1 drink. Say it ain't so. If it was a spritzer, I maybe suicidal. I hope you guys had an absolute scream together. Jax if you're ever in Beantown drinks are on me..Ent if you're ever here then drinks are on you..

xx Rare

lawyagirl said...

Another Philly girl here. Count me in if you're in town!

Tea Lady said...

Enty - good luck with JW. I hope it works out the way you want it to.

Kory said...

That's really interesting because I thought that Jax wrote this blog and that Jax was also Hez.

So did you go to lunch and stare into a mirror? I kid. Of course this blog is written by an obese, 6-times divorced lawyer dude.

Ms. said...

Susannah Leigh - play nicely, please. Who cares if Enty is or isn't what he says he is. The blog is great and the Enty character is a hoot.

As for Jax being Hez, I don't buy it. Hez has a blog, contributes to SLC Insider and posts regularly on Gawker. Different syntax than Jax.

Ms. said...

I'm a little slow today. Just clued in to what is really going on here with the Jax bashing.

The green-eyed monster.

mooshki said...

Ms.: nail - head.

farmgirl said...

Wow - this is as ugly as I have seen this place.
And in reaction to what was a very cool story.
Jax - you are a lucky gal, and forget the haters. Honestly - can we find something more ridiculous to talk about?
Negativity sucks.

Enty - Upstate NY is calling you . . .

Unknown said...

I'm not interested in knowing who really writes this blog. I think it's an open secret that the Ent persona is a joke. I don't think he's even trying to fool anyone. All I'm saying is I find it odd that some people take what he intends to be a joke as the gospel truth.

If Enty were truly so intent on keeping his (or her) true self a secret, would he really be meeting his fans? Doubtful, unless he's a damned fool. It's shocking that people are actually believing this crap. It's just a "product of the author's [and Jax's] imagination."

And by the way, I couldn't be LESS jealous of Jax. Come on! The only ones who are jealous are the ones who kiss her ass every day hoping to become the new favorite.

mooshki said...

p.s. I'M JEALOUS TOO! (Or rather, I would be, if I weren't actually just another one of Jax's multiple personalities.)

Molly said...

grace, that was mean. i liked twisted sister!!!

gilly, i'll raise my hand for you, but i wouldn't be there. i'm too busy lmao at the comments here to move on to discussion about another lunch.

Molly said...

susannah, in answer to your question above - NO - you're not the only one who remembers that.

Ms. said...

Susannah Leigh, your anger about this post is disturbing...

Carry on with your bashing. It reveals a lot more about you than it does about Enty, Jax and anyone else in your cross hairs.

Unknown said...

Molly, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who remembers the Jax/Just Saying incident!

Ms., I think you're a tad too easily disturbed. Jeez. And I'm not so much angered as annoyed at the naivete of Ent's audience.

CDAN Mod said...

i believe that enty is real.

i also believe that enty has intentionally altered some info about him to throw people off his true identity.

Mistik said...

@ ms: amen! And susannah leigh, if you don't "believe this crap", why spend time coming here, reading and posting?

lutefisk said...

Enty, seems like you should be getting a good wholesale connection on engagement rings at the rate you are going. If you are ever in NY, call me--I used to work in the jewelry district & have a good diamond source!!
Jax--don't spill any details. Let nus all keep our little bit of fantasy.

Ms. said...

Susannah, we expect nonsense from Dead Kennedy and his various personas (as evidenced today). I come here because (for the most part) everyone makes an effort to get along and today, you've been a total pill.

What purpose does it serve to insult visitors/posters who don't blatantly state they think Enty's persona is faux.

A fun post about lunch with a regular reader/poster has your panties in a knot. That's just sad.

Unknown said...

People sure get up in arms when someone suggests that Santa Claus doesn't exist, don't they?

Ms. said...

You're the only one up in arms. The rest of us want to play. Remember playing? Imagination? Fun? Or are these foreign concepts?

The blog is fun. The posters like to have fun. Except you, of course. Shame when the green-eyed monster gets in the way of having fun, no?

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think they just find your paranoid rants hilarious. Oh, and the part where you keep on coming back to keep on going, despite your professed hatred.

hotchacha said...

Oh, who CARES? Real, not real. What-EVER.

Just relax and enjoy the blog.

Easy, peasy.

Ms. said...

Jax, I have an idea. Since Enty took you out to lunch, why don't you carry on with it. Meaning, have lunch with a regular if they're in Vancouver or if you're in someone's city. They in turn take out another reader... Just a thought. So many interesting folks on this blog.

Anon said...

LMFAO!! Let's see, Enty needs a break and asks Jax to step in and she says sure and now she's blogging about their meeting. Okay.

Susannah, I do believe Enty is a real person but I do remember when Jax was bitching people out under the name "Just Sayin'" so ya have to wonder how many personalities she posts as.

And no, I'm not jealous of someone who has to make multiple screen names just so she can be even bitchier than usual.

Hey, S, don't blame the ass kissers, they're just doing that so they don't get ripped on by her majesty, the belle of the ball.

Back to lurking and LMAO!

Mistik said...

Oh, Susannah... I think you got lumps of coal in your stocking one Christmas too many...

Unknown said...

I've got to be honest: this whole thing has been very fun for me. I haven't had a chance to relive Jax's hilarious Just Saying lapse in quite some time.

So now I'm a troll. I can live with that. And at least I'm capable of saying everything I want to say with just ONE screen name. That's more than I can say for Jax.

Mistik said...

I just don't see why Jax saying or doing anything makes EL more or less or who he says he is... Jax is real. EL is real. Gossip is ... gossip. Mostly smoke and mirrors wherever it's posted. So ... what's your point, Susannah?

Anonymous said...

@ ms. Jax and I actually have a little outing planned when she hits my city, since we're so close to one another. Seattle has a nice Sephora that she wanted to hit up.

Ms Cool said...

Hey Ent, if you're in Milwaukee, I'll buy you lunch just for the fact that you post Daniel Craig photos after much pleading.

Maja With a J said...

"FIRST!"

Unknown said...

I do not understand the anger - why come to a blog just to be negative. The reason I read CDAN is cos its fun and everyone shows each other a certain level of respect...... except for today.

It seems weird that someone will post comments just to be negative and rude on a gossip blog - it is just that gossip - just with a different, interesting, generally more positive perspective unlike some of the other blogs (who said perez!!).

So Susannah Leigh if you don't care and don't believe the blog - i have a suggestion - don't read it. Then you don't have to be mad and angry - you can live your life "not caring" and leave the rest of us to enjoy our entertainment. It can be very easy to cut the anger out of your life.

Because rubbishing other people and getting so negative about stranger's lives is a bit weird - just live yours and be happy.

nunaurbiz said...

All I can think of right now is that somewhere, Enty is laughing his-or-her fat-or-maybe-not ass off.

Oh and me too!

^..^

Unknown said...

It's a blog, people.

Jeebus.

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Rare Avis--am I to understand you're also in the Boston area? Want to get together sometime to swap funny stories and plot what we'll do with Enty should he ever come this way? ;-) (Should you ever actually get up here, Enty, I promise I'll make some of the same kinds of nummy baked goods that I've been providing for starving (and not-so-starving; we're all getting old...) musicians for the past 20 years...how do chocolate chip oatmeal cookies sound?)

Stacy said...

Wow, I can't believe all the jealous cunty comments. If you do't like the blog or think its fake wtf are you doiing here?

Lux Luthor said...

...and coming out of lurkdom to lmao at harriet hellfire!

liveunderarock said...

Susannah, don't let them get to you. You have as much right to state your opinion as they do. We've seen over the past few months that most people eventually figure out jax & her crew. Just think of all the people who probably e-mail Enty saying the same things you are. They are just afraid to post it and be bullied.

Anon, I don't think jax wrote this post. Enty makes too much of a point of distancing himself from her in this post by saying how FW made him contact her, and saying how he made her wait and how he got drunk on her. Enty's not stupid. He might secretly adore jax but he knows many of his readers don't.

Unknown said...

Considering who i work for, if i really wanted to know, i could probably find out..but that would be bad and lose me my career pretty quick, also unethical:)

Enty, i dont care if you are male, female, vegetable, mineral, if you ever make it to australia, i will introduce you to *real* beer!

Ms. said...

(ahem) Real beer in Australia. Hmmm.

Manda, come to Canada and I'll introduce you to Creemore :-)

Unknown said...

ms. Sounds like a plan to me, we will have a beer-off:)

Unknown said...

writer mommy I am from Columbus too. We need to get together sometime at our own happy hour/lunch/dinner sometime. Any other Columbusites out there? This site beats the political phone calls we have been inundated with today, right? All the haters, go find a site that isn't as much fun as this one!

Blah Frickin Blah said...

I freaking LOVE the Cactus Club! Best Martini's ever!

Ent, did you get pissed on Pussy Galores, or Kavorkia's?

liveunderarock said...

Can we surmise that all of you love it or leave it people won't be voting for change tomorrow, either?

Anonymous said...

"OMG we're a bitter beleagured minority with conspiracy theories and a huge stick up our ass, let's piss and moan about it!"

Katja said...

bad fish I'm just across the pond from Seattle I want to go too :)

I'll bring licorice.....

captivagrl said...

hey, HEY...settle down all.

I'm working the polls, don't forget to vote!

BlahFrickinBlah said...

Wait a sec...since when is there a second blahfrickinblah? Come up with your own name!

dorienne said...

For f's sake, Susannah Leigh, you sure have had a burr up your butt today.

From your first post today, I had nagging sense of familiarity about your ranting...

Overly strident? Check!

Agenda driven haranguing? Check!

Obsessive need to have her "truth" proclaimed, though no one cares? Double...err triple...err now too many posts to bother counting. So...CHECK!

When I realized who you reminded me of, it was so damned obvious I was embarrassed to point it out. However, your consistent lack of awareness has me throwing up my hands as well as caution to the wind (and election fever maybe?)...

You, Susannah Leigh, are "The Church Lady" of CDaN, and Enty is your "SATAN?!?".

Let it go, SL...the rest of us already have...there is nothing to prove here.

Your quote "I've got to be honest: this whole thing has been very fun for me"...speaks volumes. Actually, it says everything...so 'nuff said.

Now get out the vote folks! YES WE CAN!

dee said...

hahaha, that is excellent and nice to know.

SisterMaryHotPantz said...

lori, I am from columbus

:>)

slappywhyte said...

just for the record:

jax is a real person -- why the hating? -- sounds like jealousy

and i will go out for lunch with readers of my site (but i can't speak for Lucy Glib ... or MM):

megasizzle.com

lunch only!

slappy whyte

lyz said...

OMG, it's like high school all over again.

This is RECREATIONAL READING, folks. It's supposed to be for F-U-N.

I like Jax. I think she's witty and I wish I could come up with the snarky comments that she makes.

I like Ent. I don't care if he's a she or a he. I don't care if he's been married 25 times or 25 years. I like his site and think the humor is great. It's the best site on the web in my opinion.

If you don't like Jax, just blow past her posts. If you don't like Ent, then don't click on this site.

Basically, just shut the hell up b/c the majority of us just want to have fun. Go piss in your own cereal.

MnGddess said...

Geez - this is what I get for checking in late.

Susannah clearly has a bug up her ass. Take it somewhere else.

And how many Philly folks are on this blog? We can have our own little CDAN east. I haven't been to McGillan's (sp) since the 80's.

Unknown said...

wow, so much hate going on in here.

no matter if enty is a he or she or whatever, have we not been entertained?

oh, enty, thanks for your e-mail awhile back. i wasn't doing good at all and was in the slumps, (you are light in the dark of day) - if you remember? you didn't have to, i'm a total stranger! but you e-mailed me back and cheered me up, so a big THANKS, and also a < HUG > to you!

posters:
i know we all have our freedom to express ourselves and have an opinion, is it at all too big of a request to ask to be civil to each other in here? shouldn't it be THAT way anyway?

i think i have too much faith in humanity...

34-24-34 said...

Nice Enty.
I've invited you to lunch twice now. :(

Tigercat said...

philly is a phun city.

slappywhyte said...

34-24-34 ... i like that user name :)

34-24-34 said...

Thanks, slappywhyte.

Maybe YOU & I should have lunch, forget about Enty. :)

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