Tuesday, September 09, 2008

One Pair Underwear - Used


How much would you pay for a pair of underwear? Well, if you are like me, you get them 3 for $5 over at Target, and throw those tighty whiteys out after a couple of months of hard use. I guess I would be willing to pay a little extra if the elastic band is extra stretchy.

I am not sure there are many of us who would be willing to buy underwear that was previously worn. Oh sure, there are women who make a couple of extra bucks on their porn sites doing it, but I'm pretty sure they just give them with their dog to play with, kiss them, and throw them in a fed ex box. But, beginning tomorrow, you will have the opportunity to buy a used pair of underwear that does not come from a porn star.

Tomorrow if you have $1M sitting around with nothing to do, you can bid on a pair of Michael Jackson's used underwear. That's right. For the price of a small home in LA, or a night with Naomi Campbell you can fondle Michael Jackson's size 28 Calvin Klein briefs. 28? I didn't even think there was any man that skinny. While you are fondling said briefs, you may want to be aware the he was probably doing some fondling while wearing them for they are the underwear that were seized as evidence in his child molestation trial. You would think that for $1M, they would throw in the blue light, but apparently you have to purchase that separately.

Who on earth would want those underwear, and who would want to pay $1M for them? Would you ever want to meet the person who did? What are they going to do with them? Frame them in the foyer of their house with a sign that says abandon hope all ye who enter here. It is definitely not a conversation starter at a party. "Oooh. Who's are those?" "Oh, those are the underwear Michael Jackson wore when he was messing around with some boy. You like?"

If that doesn't disgust you than also for sale are handwritten letters about his annulment from Lisa Marie Presley and a half tub of bleaching cream.

8 comments:

Maja With a J said...

Not many things make me queasy but I had to stop eating when I read this. And that NEVER happens.

Goodgrief said...

It depends, are they still stained or have they been washed. If I'm
paying a million for used underwear it makes a difference.

lutefisk said...

At least there was no visual image, unlike yesterdsy *shudder*.

Anonymous said...

Mini-me was funny when he came out in the Austen movies but now he is kind of creepy looking.

Regarding the underwear auction you have to be sick to bet on a pair of dirty, nasty, used underwear especially from a pervert like Michael.

HLevack said...

@Sylvia: I hope you meant "bid on a pair of..." because all I can think of is gambling on undies now.

BlahFrickinBlah said...

This more offensive to me than the chick auctioning off her virginity. LMAO!!!!

Anonymous said...

it'd be interesting from a forensic standpoint, but that's about it.

bionic bunny! said...

lol@ dn!!

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