Today's Blind Items

#1 - This is more of a general thing since I could not even begin to describe the kids involved since I have no idea what tween show they are on and how you can blind them. BUT, who says drugs don't start young. There were at least two groups of 3-4 tweens all under 16 or 17 who passed around joints all night long on Saturday at the Kids Choice Awards. Nice huh?

#2 - This engagement announcement is a nice effort, but there will never be a marriage. Think Billy Zane and Kelly Brook.

#3 - This B list film actress with a nose for paparazzi disappeared off the radar screen for a few days. Public stories professed one thing while in reality our actress spent a few days with a foreign billionaire. You do the math.

Random Photos Part One

Wife is in London. David Beckham is all smiles back in Los Angeles.
In case you were wondering what is happening on the set of HSM3. Yeah, I don't care either so this is the last you are going to see it unless there is some big sex thing caught on tape.
In the future I think Jessica Simpson should avoid having her photo taken with her sister Ashlee and Kate Beckinsale bookending her. They just make her look really bad. Almost to the point where I feel sorry for her. Almost.
Gwen Stefani says she is having problems thinking of songs for No Doubt. Well she needs to get her ass off the playground and go make me a damn album.

Gerard Butler. Just because I care about each and every last one of you.
Lets see what we have here. Eva Longoria has her hand on Orlando Bloom's thigh which he seems to be enjoying. Or it could be a sock. On the other end we have Jennifer Aniston who allegedly has a thing with Orlando yet Jennifer has her hand nestled between Courteney Cox's thighs. I'm sure it is all innocent huh?
WTF is Denise Richards wearing and I am not talking about her kid either.
Duran Duran - Gold Coast, Australia
Today finally made official what I told you a few weeks ago. Kathie Lee Gifford is joining the program. Look for the Kathie Lee diva stories and how she wants to take over the show stories to begin in about a month.

I honestly just don't care at this point.
I really like Jodie Foster's glasses. That company needs to try and throw some money her way and have her do some commercials.
Jason Bateman just had his first encounter with Eva Longoria. Left the guy shell shocked.
Hot Hot Heat - Gold Coast

I would be smiling too if I took as many drugs as Keith Richards took, and got to live to talk about it.

I know Jackie Warner can kick my ass, but she looks awful here. She looked so much better with short hair. This is also the only photo I found where she is not actively trying to shove out that left breast and let us see that she isn't wearing a bra.
Note to photo agencies: I sincerely doubt that James Marsden's wife appreciates being called and guest considering they have been married for almost a decade. On a side note, James Marsden is now in my top five comic actors. The guy just always cracks me up.
I suppose Jennifer Love Hewitt could wear this if she wasn't pregnant, but the only reason would be so people would think she was pregnant and she could start the baby photo bidding war. Or she could crave attention.

Modest Mouse - Gold Coast

The one and only Margaret Cho.
Mariah Carey's new album is called Touch My Body. Apparently she wants us to know where she likes to be touched.
Madonna has slowly transformed into Martina Navratilova right before our eyes.
Lara Flynn Boyle doesn't really get better with age.

"So, you are going to ride 5,000 miles across the wildest part of Africa for charity huh? Good luck with that. Next time why don't you just send a check?"

Is Turkey so hard up for celebrities that they let Paris Hilton crown Miss Turkey?
Better than a night having sex with Jennifer Aniston.
NKOTB on the Today show Friday morning. Yes. All of them. So much for no reunions huh?
At some point I guess Moby is planning on learning the other curse words in the English language.

Well if Valerie got Eddie I guess Wolfgang can get A.J.

Val Kilmer is down to a svelte 250 now.
I think I like this outfit on Vanessa Carlton but I do have some issues.
The future Mrs. George Clooney.
Queens Of The Stone Age - Gold Coast

But Where Did He Get The Drugs?

The jury in the inquest of Anna Nicole Smith's son Daniel were successfully befuddled by the witnesses that mattered most and have stated that Daniel died of an accidental overdose and that no criminal charges should be filed.

What they don't answer in their report is who the hell gave Daniel the methadone, Zoloft and Lexapro in the first place. They also don't answer how Howard K Stern managed to not notice Daniel overdosing on these three drugs despite the fact they were in the same hospital room for 12 straight hours with Daniel's mom. Never even noticed that Daniel was so heavily medicated that he was going to die? Never noticed in all the years he hung out with Anna and Daniel 24 hours a day that the kid was hooked on drugs that he got from his mom. And who arranged for his mom to have all those drugs? Do you think Anna was calling around to friendly doctors? Maybe it was Sugarpie or Kimmy.

As for Daniel dying in the hospital room, Howard K would probably just say he and Anna were distracted by the newborn. I could see that for about ten minutes. What about the other 11 hours and 50 minutes? This is the biggest bunch of crap I have ever read. The Bahamas needs to show some balls and do something. Ever since this all started they have just let everyone walk all over them and this is no different. I'm disgusted and the people of the Bahamas should be disgusted with the people they have elected to represent them. All it says to the people is that if you have some money, you get to do what you want, including f**king around when people die.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which actor finds he is only able to perform in front of the cameras after a massive boozing session and five or more lines of cocaine?

Kneepads Magazine Has Sunk To A New Low

I didn't think it was possible for a magazine to open any wider, but somehow People Magazine has managed to open their mouths a little wider, and got their nose even browner. Look, as I have said before, this is not a political site and I really don't care who you vote for in whatever country you live in as long as you get out and vote.

Let me copy and paste the relevant quotes. The following is from an interview Sarah Jessica Parker had with People over the weekend. They are discussing her son.


"He's very into Barack Obama. On his own!"

Oh, really? So your kid who is 5 right now, sits in front of the television and while he is debating whether or not he should eat his booger he is also deciding on the merits of the upcoming US Presidential election. No doubt he split screens Fairly Odd Parents with Hardball and Hannity & Colmes just to keep abreast on the situation. After analyzing all the candidates he selected Obama.

"He's really, truly into this election," she says of her little guy's interests. "He's come to this conclusion on his own based specifically on Barack's gender. It's that deep. He's a fan and a true supporter of Barack Obama."

How can a five year old be really and truly into an election? I bet if you walked up to that kid right now and asked him who were the three candidates left he wouldn't be able to tell you. I guarantee he doesn't even know what the hell a president is. Yes, I know your kid is a genius so don't e-mail me. Every kid is super and fantastic and brilliant and gorgeous. That is why there are no ugly people in the world and everyone is a rocket scientist.

Aside from politics, Parker, 43, says James loves building things and spending time with his mommy and daddy.

I can't believe People used that sentence in a magazine that is actually published. You have got to be sh**ting me. It sounds like a f**king Christmas letter you would send out to all your friends at the holidays. I swear to God the reporters at People must have the most intense orgasms when they write this crap or else why on earth would they do it? Could be coke. Didn't think about that. Get them all addicted to crack and they only get some when they write something which eliminates any dignity they once had as journalists.

"Right now he's pretty taken with both myself and my husband. So we'll play blocks with him and he's really into Legos right now and he's really into Star Wars."

Wow. He is taken with mom and dad. Well, I guess he could be having a relationship with the nanny. Who the else does a 5 year old see on a regular basis? Yes, their teacher and friends at school, but the other 16 hours a day he is with mom and dad or nanny, and so he doesn't really know anyone else to be taken with.

And the Sex and the City star is savoring every minute she has with her son because, she says, "It's only a matter of time before he doesn't want me around."

Way to get in that movie plug. They had a plug for her other film as well in the article. Actually this is not an article, it is just garbage they are pretending is an article.

"Honestly, I love to do everything with him as long as he will have me around," she says. Even "brushing his teeth with him is enjoyable right now."

I'm okay with that sentence actually. She fails to mention the 30 times she has to yell at the kid to brush his teeth, but she probably has to yell at Matthew Broderick 30 times a day to stop talking dirty to Nathan Lane so it all probably gets lost in the shuffle.

Johnny Depp Directs New Video

Have you ever wondered what goes on in Johnny Depp's head? I think he has horror movies flashing around in his head 24/7 because that is the feel I get from this music video he directed for his wife Vanessa Paradis. After watching this video, I want someone to let Johnny Depp find the darkest 1930's horror film he can find and just remake it.

For sure he is the director of the video. Whether or not he is the guy in the hat is up to you to decide. It sure as hell isn't Ashton Kutcher, and it looks like Johnny. But is it Johnny? I think everything just reminds me of a horror movie right now because I sat through five episodes of Torchwood back to back Saturday night, and the one with the Night Travelers kind of freaked me out a bit and I keep seeing them when I watch this music video.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Meet Bill

MEET BILL

Release Date 4/4/08

The Story: Bill (Aaron Eckhart) is unhappy with his life. His wife’s (Elizabeth Banks) family essentially has him by the balls: he works for them in their corporation, and they have funded his home, his cars, etc. When he finds out his wife is sleeping with the local TV news guy (Timothy Olyphant), he kind of has a nervous breakdown. Luckily, he has been roped into a mentoring program, and his teenage mentee decides to become the mentor at life enlisting the local Victoria’s Secret employee (Jessica Alba) as a visual aide.

As the movie was coming to a close, my darling boyfriend leaned over and whispered “Is this his ‘American Beauty’ moment?” And he nailed it on the head. Except Meet Bill has excised all of the drama, and just made it into a comedy.

It’s hard to picture someone as attractive (in my opinion) as Aaron Eckhart as a schlub. He now has a spare tire, but he’s still a good looking guy. Maybe it makes it easier to see him succeed. And I’m not ruining the movie, because it pretty much follows the classic mid-life crisis formula: good guy has done wrong, but figures things out in the end.I don’t remember ever hearing about Jessica Alba filming this one. So apparently, you can film movies without the paparazzi around. Honestly, her presence in this movie was my big hesitation about it. I skipped Awake, but I did see Good Luck Chuck—where she forced every line; although if I had to pretend to fall in love with Dane Cook, I’d probably look like I’m forcing it, too. She was actually very natural here. It looked like she was having fun, and that’s what made her a star. If she wants to get back to acting after having her baby, she should watch this movie and remind herself how she did it.It helps that her main costar, Logan Lerman as the teenage mentor, makes it easy to laugh and drives almost every forward movement. The movie is all Eckhart, but this kid steals every scene. I look forward to seeing his next movie (and he possibly could have saved Charlie Bartlett had he been cast).

But as a whole, did the movie work? Yeah, I guess. It’s message is kind of diluted in order to get some laughs, so I didn’t leave thinking: yeah, I need to change x,y,z in my life. It’s not a flashy movie, but it moved at a good pace, and just about every scene had some link to either set up something else or move the plot forward. And I think that’s why I have some hesitation recommending it. I’m not saying that a movie should change your life, but it should be worth your time and your money. It’s a quick 90 minutes, but you’ve seen just about all of it before. Would it be worth it to you to see the same story again, just with a different cast?

What it’s Worth: $5. I’d say if you’re in the video store and you see it on the shelf, pick it up. I can’t say it’s got anything in it that you would need to see in the theater. It’s not a movie people will be talking about other than “Yeah, I saw a fun movie this weekend.” People won’t be analyzing it or saying that it changed their life. It’s fun, light, but doesn’t have much substance.

P.S. If you’ve got a beer belly, please don’t shave your chest – you just look like an overgrown baby, and it doesn’t look good. Unless you/your partner has a diaper fetish.

Carmen Electra Will Work For Food

Carmen Electra has not quite regressed to the point of standing at an intersection with a cardboard sign and a box to scrounge up some dough. No, there would be a few demeaning steps along the way before it came to that, but she has started down that back staircase now. It is kind of sad really. She had a run there of about a year when she was doing that VH-1 show with Dave Navarro. I think it was during that show that she finally jumped the shark.

At this point Carmen has been trying to rustle up personal appearances for money. Here in the US and abroad. Apparently the offers are not as high as she would like so she is trying to sell herself out to Australia. Why the hell not? If Australians are willing to pay her ex husband (bet you forgot she was married to Dennis Rodman) than they should be more than happy to pay for Carmen.

Asking price? $50,000. Now, that is not for one night, or two, or even three. Nope. For $50,000 you can have Carmen Electra for an entire week. My math is shaky, but that appears to be about $7000 a day. Considering The Hooker tried to get that an hour, I think 24 hours of Carmen for $7000 is a hell of a deal.

Australians must not think so though. Since she has thrown herself out there, there has not been one nibble or bite. I think we all know where she can go for a nibble or bite, and no, it isn't over to Joan Jett's place.

In case you were wondering, Paris Hilton charges up to $1,000,000 for a week in Australia and will spend a total of three weeks there this year. Wow. I could have 20 Carmen Electras for the price of one Paris Hilton, AND I wouldn't be exposed to herpes. That should be Carmen's new slogan. Cheaper than Paris and herpes free. Not that either one is sleeping with anyone for the money, but you know. They come over to party and Paris finds some Australian boy from a nice family. Gives him a night of passion while she looks in the mirror and talks on the phone. Next thing you know he is in the STD section of the personals.

Stay safe. Hire Carmen.

Who Is Giving Blake Heroin?

I read in The News Of The World today that Blake got his ass kicked in jail again. By my count that is at least his 4th beating since he has been locked up. I'm not exactly sure why people like Pete Doherty always get to stay out of jail, while Blake is locked up awaiting trial, but I do like how if you are in jail, you are in jail and subject to always getting your ass kicked.

If we had a system like that I think people like Robert Downey Jr., and others who spent time in the California penal system would think twice about ever coming back. As it stands now though, they are basically just put in a VIP room just like in their daily lives. They are isolated and rarely in any danger at all. I guess the county and state are too worried about lawsuits to put them in with the general population. I think they should weight that possible cost though against housing them repeatedly over a multi-year span and see what works out best.

Anyway, Blake got his ass kicked this time because everyone thought he was holding heroin. They thought that because he has now tested positive 3 times since he has been in. Last I checked it was twice, so somehow he keeps using it and somehow the guards are just letting it come right in. Turns out that Blake didn't have any heroin on him which is really unusual. What I think is unusual is that Amy Winehouse couldn't get into jail to see Blake this week because she was late. No Amy, no drugs. Coincidence? I don't think Amy is passing drugs to Blake, but I would not be surprised if she is giving him money or some other IOU he can give to the suppliers of the drug. They can give Blake the drug, and then have someone on the outside go up to Amy and get some money from her. If I were them though I would disinfect that money in bleach or something before touching it though.

I'm also guessing that the guards in Blake's prison are on the take because after 3 times testing positive you would think that they would do something about it.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which footballer is in danger of getting the red card after tackling his team-mates little sister? The protective player will be furious when he finds out...

Four For Friday

#1 - This is quite the pair. A former adult film actress and a member of a girl's singing group were all over each other at a recent event. They also seemed to go the bathroom together every five minutes. Weak bladders I guess.

#2 - Another singer. This one is young and married and female, and is definitely an A list singer if there were such a category. Not married to a celebrity so you can just take that Avril Lavigne guess right out of your head. Seems the thing they most enjoy in their sex life is bringing in another person. Always guys. Seems our young husband can't quite decide which team he is playing for and likes the extra boost that a guy brings to the bedroom.

#3 - This former B list television actress on a very hit network show with a very catchy name is now a C lister. It is no wonder her career is in the crapper if she treated her co-workers the way she treats her husband. At a party this week, she yelled at him not once, not twice, but at least three times always in front of people. "Idiot," "Can't believe I'm married to you," and "I told you no ice," were just some of the things she made sure everyone heard. Her husband just seemed to put up with it and weakly smiled when people looked his way.

#4 - Most of the time when you are having an affair with a co-worker it is easy to keep your spouse away from the co-worker. But what do you do when you have to walk the red carpet with your wife, while your mistress is standing right next to you and starts chatting with your wife? Such was the case this week during one of the press events for new television shows. The show is award winning and brilliant. A drama. The actress is a C lister with a few starring roles in a couple of television shows. The married actor is also C list with this show being his first big break.

Random Photos Part One

I think Angela Lansbury deserves the top spot. Someone tell me different.
Give me a couple bottles of vodka and a Good Eats marathon and I am set for the weekend.
I will say one thing for Drake Bell. He is not afraid to make a statement with his fashion choices.
Counting Crows - New York
Hugh Jackman in his bathing suit. For other celebrity dads in bathing suits, US Weekly has a whole bunch. The reason I am giving you all these guys will become obvious shortly.
Fergie actually makes Quentin Tarantino look good. That is saying something. Not sure what it is saying, but it is saying something.
The new film from the Farrelly Brothers. Bitch and Bitchier. Also known as Eva Amurri and Lydia Hearst.
People in Australia are willing to pay Dennis Rodman to open a club.
Someone said yesterday they wanted a book from Tatum O'Neal's offspring. I want a book from Dakota Johnson.
Reason #1 for the Hugh Jackman photo. Although I must admit that Ashley Olsen doesn't look half bad.
Mary Kate on the other hand. Not so much.
Mother daughter talks in 2008.
Throw on some turquoise earrings and Mischa Barton is ready for a k.d lang concert.
Leslie Nielsen is about 30 years older than Pamela Anderson and about 30 times better looking.
Selita Eubanks at her 25th birthday party. I know, I know looks about 45 with a really bad wig.
Marisa Tomei always looks really good before she gets to the open bar.
I don't think that when Mena Suvari is about 70, that the tattoo is going to look quite so good. Hell, it doesn't look good now. WTF was she thinking?
Marilu Henner still looks great.
Oh yes, Tracy. She is much classier than your wife.
Simon Rex at 7pm.
Simon Rex at midnight.
See. This is why I love Random Photos. Stephen Root and Wayne Knight.
You probably don't watch as much porn as I do, but Sienna Miller getting into this van with strangers kind of reminds me of a Bang Brothers film.