Monday, February 25, 2008

My 45 Minutes Of Oscar


I have been really busy the past few weeks and have been working crazy hours. So, the plan yesterday was to camp down in front of the 12 inch black and white and watch E! for six hours and then the Oscars. That plan lasted about 15 minutes.

I turned on the television and saw three of the hosts talking about how to apply makeup. It wasn't even one of those hosts I was interested in seeing. The day before at my favorite In-N-Out I saw Ashlan Gale, or at least I think that was her name and as she ate 2 double doubles animal style, I said to myself this is a woman I could watch on television. The fact that she is fairly hot played no part in my decision. It was the appetite and the fact that I am fairly certain she didn't go puking it up on the two block drive back to the Kodak Theater. I turned it off. Not unexpected. Six hours is a great deal of coverage and so they will cover lots and lots of topics. So, went back to the Dirty Jobs marathon and promised myself I would click back.

I guess it was about 45 minutes later, and I turned it back on. I literally had it on for about 30 seconds before I turned it off. Come back from commercial and lets go talk about Fashion from two people who know all about it. Nick from Project Runway. OK, he is knowledgeable and funny and I am okay with his comments. Their other fashion expert? Kim Kardashian. No shit. Seriously. Honest to God, the first shot of her was a closeup of only her ass. At that point, I said screw it and turned it off. One of the unique things about LA unlike the rest of the West Coast is they actually show the Academy Awards live at 5pm. If you are anywhere else on the West Coast you have to wait until 8pm which means you may as well just go on Yahoo and see who won.

So, having enough of E!, I decided to head over to the Beverly Center because I thought it would be cricket like. Ummm. It wasn't Christmas there, but it was really packed for a Sunday in February. I guess the rest of LA was also fed up with the Kardashians and had retreated to the mall. I have already told you how much I abhor exercise, but my doctor told me I needed to do something, so I started mall walking. It really isn't bad, and unlike the Grove, the Beverly Center is all inside and has places to site with plasma televisions, and has a really nice bar where people can stare down at you from three levels while you get drunk.

So, I finished my mall walking and am in the bar replacing all the calories I just burned with many alcoholic drinks. I want to be clear that there was no sound, but here is what I saw. Amy Adams looked like she was going to have a heart attack when Ryan grabbed her purse from her. By the look on her face I'm guessing it was solid gold spun from the hair of virgins or something and probably signed her life away when she borrowed it. She was seriously freaked out, and will probably never talk to Ryan again.

Jennifer Garner earned my big b*tch of the night. She was presenting. That's it. I thought she looked awful and then she did something that I had only previously seen Scarlett Johannson do and that is steal the spotlight. Laura Linney was about to be interviewed. Jennifer Garner comes over to her and gives her a hug, then Jennifer moves to Ryan and does an interview and leaves the Best Actress Nominee sitting there looking like a deer in the headlights. Remember. I had no sound, but in my heart, I am hoping Gary Busey saw this injustice and that is why he harassed Jen. I hope he did it on purpose, because honestly I have not seen something that low in a very long time. I know she was in Juno, but still, she is stealing time from a Best Actress nominee which is something Jennifer Garner isn't going to ever get. I was disgusted. Almost as disgusted as John Travolta's hair. Did you see that he and The Rock had the exact same hairstyle? You remember when that Ronco guy was selling the spray paint hair? That is what it reminded me of.

Oh, the one other thing that I really liked was the way James McAvoy and his wife interacted. I really thought it was sweet. Went home, and watched more Dirty Jobs. Love that show.

42 comments:

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Johnny Depp wuz robbed.

GammaGirl said...

Why do Guliana and Debbie still work at E? They are fucking terrible at interviews! They even had the cojones to brag about being good banter. Who puts Kimora in LIVE TV?!
I only lasted about 5 minutes before I gave up and waited for the ABC version, which was considerably less obnoxious.

YahMoBThere said...

Hey, EL, I LOVE Dirty Jobs and Mike Rowe! What took you so long to post his pic?

Where was Ben last night?

WHO THE FUCK thought that Samantha Harris would be good on the red carpet? It was the worst red carpet EVER.

Alpine Summer - did you see that Viggo Mortensen brought his niece and her name is Sydney? There you have it.

Daniel Day-Lewis... I love love love him.

Why do we never think of Javier B. for any blinds? He's single and brings his mother to the AA? Is this telling us something or what?

AphraelDanae said...

I also love me some Dirty Jobs - great show. Makes me wish we had cable...

Winston Ono said...

Ent, I guess you needed sound because she totally got the Jennifer Garner thing wrong. He was waiting for Jennifer not Laura. And Jennifer was trying to save Seacrest from Busey.

Majik said...

I heard Ryan Seacrest say that he was waiting to interview Jennifer but she was having a bit of 'girl talk' with Laura Linney and that's when Gary Busey started being all crazy...it didn't look to me like Ryan was particularly interested in Laura Linney, nomination not withstanding.

I think it was Ryan's bad, not Jennifer's. Way interested in Gary's behaviour, though...wtf was he doing there anyway?

Mel said...

Yes, you got Jen G situation so wrong, I think Laura Linney and her were being quite girly together. Why all the hate for someone who's obviously just a nice person? I've seen things written about Jen in the past, I don't think it pays to be a decent person in Hollywood.

Anonymous said...

Dont care about your channel flipping and the compelling reasons behind every little click you made...but I DO love Dirty Jobs. Was watching a little of the marathon, myself.

canadachick said...

haha i thought i was the only one who noticed Travolta and the rock had the same hair!!

Gary Busey made my night - it was the saving moment of the most stupidest red carpet ever....i mean who embarasses actor/actresses with dolls and dishes and asks someone if they're going to breast feed. Ryan Seacrest is an idiot. I wish Busey had of decked him...that would have made for some good TV - Seacrest out - literally haha

Brenda22 said...

Gary was on Ryan's radio show this morning. What a whack job! Ryan asked him if he was a Laura Linney fan and he said, I don't know that word, what is that word, to me fan means fantastic or fanatic. There is no fan, blah blah. And everything Ryan's cohost would ask Gary a question he'd "who is that?" ...lol. He needs help.

Missjenny619 said...

Why hasn't anyone mentioned Tilda Swinton's bizarre acceptance speech? WTF was she talking George Clooney's rubber nipples in the Batsuit? Very strange indeed!! She wasn't even in that movie...nor were they dating at the time...

Missjenny619 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
califblondy said...

Javier's Mama sure enjoyed kissing him on the lips just a little too long and too often, IMO. I read that he was with Penelope at an after party.

Ryan used Jennifer as a bodyguard when Gary yelled "RYAN SEACREST, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU." It was hilarious. The video was online everywhere before the show even ended here in SoCal.

GammaGirl said...

@ Jennifer: She was joking. George has said many times that he regrets doing batman. I thought it was cheeky and awesome. I was surprised that she won, but Michael Clayton was really well done.

Here is a link to the Gary Busey incident
http://www.youtube.com/watch
?v=krDoAUJDcKU&eurl
It was sad and funny all at the same time!

Mistik said...

Wow ... you guys all actually watched the pre-Oscar coverage. I lasted about 30 seconds of the ABC feed and gave up. It was so vacuous and annoying that a blank screen was preferable...

jax said...

EL we had the early feed here too..by 8:45 i was on to BB9.

I still can't beleivve they missed Brad Renfro and then claimed they didn't have time for everyone. BS!

Mother Campfire said...

Um, EL, I watched it live on the West Coast at 5 pm and I'm in Sacramento. You really need to learn to do your research before you write. Really. You've been doing this quite a bit lately and it makes your credibility go down the shitter, my friend.

Mother Campfire said...

Actually Jennifer WAS a bitch that night but not for the reasons listed. If you actually watch the stupid thing, you'll see that yes the girls are having girl time and Ryan being a complete douche because he kept interrupting. Fast forward to Scary Busey screaming and molesting J Garner. She's pretty annoyed at this point and wants to walk away but Ryan (ever the douche) keeps calling her name to come over and talk. Then she gets additudey (quite rightly) and says 'May I help you' with a look that could freeze water. Luckily Laura had some class and pulled her away.

Ryan at no time made an attempt to talk to Laura though. It was not Garner's fault Laura got ignored. This is Ryan Seacrest, one of the worst live interviewers in the industry. Hellooooo.

Total bitchy and totally charming. I knew she wasn't always what she seemed, the little minx.

YahMoBThere said...

Mistik, I didn't watch any of the pre-show stuff either. No time.

I thought it was really nice that Jon Stewart brought out that girl to give her speech after she was cut off by the orchestra.

Mistik said...

Twisted, I thought that was one of the nicer moments of the night. Most of the rest .... completely forgettable, with the exceptions of Marion Cotillard and Tilda Swinton's speeches. And the Halle Berry/Dame Judy bit. The rest ... meh.

YahMoBThere said...

"And the Halle Berry/Dame Judy bit."


Yeah, I liked that, too, Mistik. And while I thought Jon Stewart did a good job, nobody can ever top Billy Crystal, as far as I'm concerned.

Mistik said...

Well, there's always next year. Gives me 12 months to polish up my acceptance speech!

Unknown said...

Thank you, EL, for calling out Garner. You only said what many of us already know. It's good to know someone else can see right through her "gosh oh golly gee" persona. She's probably one of the best conniving manipulators in HW.

Jemtastic said...

Please, Jennifer Garner is a bitch and last night proved it. She was acting as if she belonged there; let's be honest, had she not married Ben "I Touch Strippers More Than I Touch My Wife" Affleck, she would have faded back into obscurity after the end of Alias. Remember, this is a woman that dumped her husband when her celebrity took off.

Ryan Seacrest, Kimora Lee-Simmons, Giuliana Blah Blah...how on Earth are they commenting on fashion and interviewing celebs? It's times like these that you appreciate the candor that is Joan Rivers.

LesSucknoMustDie said...

I saw that too and couldn't believe it. What adult does that? She acted like she was five.

I wish Viggo would have won, but I like Daniel Day Lewis too so whatev.

Sydney in Wonderland said...

Sister - - No, I didn't see that because I wasn't watching. Is he American? Damn it, he is. Thanks for pointing it out.

YahMoBThere said...

Alpine, yes he's American. A great actor, too. If you haven't seen anything with him, do check out his movies.

Winston Ono said...

Lessuckno, I don't know if anyone else has pointed this out but I enjoy the new and improved you.

LesSucknoMustDie said...

Eileen I'm not THAT Les Suckno. I'm someone who thinks he should die. Meaning be killed off as a poster here.

takeme2espana said...

Ent...Love me some Mike Rowe, dunno why but I could have me a crush on that man.
Anyone know why Van Halen pulled the plug on their tour? Hmmmmm...Ent????

Sydney in Wonderland said...

Sister - - I saw him in Lord of the Rings, like every good geek girl did. I don't think I've seen him in everything else. While I don't think they showcased him all that well in LotR, I do think he was a nice piece of dirty man meat.

... which might also explain the (far less pervasive) little crush on Mike Rowe.

YahMoBThere said...

Alpine, he was also great in A Perfect Murder and Hidalgo. LMAO @ "a nice piece of dirty man meat".

WOW, I'm surprised to see so many of us Mike Rowe fans here. I'd like to get dirty with him, too.

Judi said...

ABC had the least annoying red carpet coverage. NONE were good, and there's NO reason for the coverage to be so bad. Who's producing this shit? Some of the worst piss-poor tv of the year, every year. The ceremony began airing at 5:30, not 5.
I don't recognize Mike Rowe. Who was he in LOTRings?

YahMoBThere said...

Judi, Viggo Mortensen was in LoTR. We're throwing too many names out and there and it's getting confusing. Sorry. ;-)

duncanpowers said...

I could listen to Mike Rowe talk about anything for hours, primarily in the dark.

takeme2espana said...

Mike Rowe thread, yup. High time. Gettin' dirty with Mike Rowe....

Graveyard Rabbit said...

Anne Marie Duff!!! She does have a name...she was Anne Marie Duff before she ever met her (younger, good job~!) husband, James McAvoy.

Judi said...

OH, Twis!!! LOLOL!! Thanks. :-D

Marnie said...

VIGGO FOREVER!!!!! Sometimes I fantasize that he's on a hockey team with Nicolas Sarkozy and George Clooney, and I'm somehow accidentally thrown naked into their locker room.

Tania said...

In all the Gary Busey kerfuffle, did anybody else notice that Laura Linney rescued Garner when Ryan kept asking her where Ben Affleck was?
Ryan wouldn't take a brush-off for an answer, so Linney announced that she & Garner still had girltalk catch-up to do, and politely took her away.
Whatever Garner is, it seems she has at least one friend...

YahMoBThere said...

LMAO @ Marnie!

Judi, anytime!! ;-)

Tania, I caught that. I love Laura Linney, I think she has a lot of class.

Tania said...

Twisted Sister - she does, doesn't she? Lots of class.

I don't know wtf was up with Seacrest on that red carpet. Maybe he was drunk, high, whatever. He was talking such a load of bollocks! It became almost fun to watch the varying expressions of puzzlement and carefully-concealed annoyance on his interviewees.

Advertisements

Popular Posts from the last 30 days