What Exactly Constitutes Cheating?
This is an interesting ethical question. When is something cheating and when isn't it? Let's take a look at Brad Pitt. King Knee Pads himself actually asked Brad a tough question. The name will still stick though. Larry King asked Brad about when his relationship with Angelina Jolie began. Brad responded by saying, "Well, that [romance] came after Larry. That came after."
For the sake of argument, let's just choose to believe Brad. Brad left Jennifer Aniston shortly after the film was completed. If you are flirting with someone on a film set or at work or at the grocery store for several weeks, and as a result of that flirting and getting to know that person, you leave your wife, and then begin a relationship with the subject of your flirtations is that cheating?
Does there need to be intent? The American Heritage Dictionary defines flirting as:
1.To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures. 2. To deal playfully, triflingly, or superficially with.
So to me it seems that you can flirt without meaning anything by it. Everyone does it whether they are in a relationship or not. Did the flirting with Angelina make Brad realize that he wanted something more and he had no expectations of having a relationship with Angelina? If so, then maybe he is in the clear. But, if Angelina made it clear to him that she would be open to a relationship with him, and he continued flirting with her, then at some point that relationship has moved to a new level.
I think we all agree that Brad at some point was cheating, even if it was just mentally. But, what if his flirting with Angelina just made him realize he needed something more than Jennifer, and he left her, but for someone other than Angelina. We wouldn't consider that flirting he did with Angelina as cheating, so why do we consider it cheating because he did end up with her?
I think he cheated. I'm just trying to see what everyone else thinks. It doesn't have to be a movie set. It could be someone at work. It could be anything. Where is the line drawn? I think the line for me would have to be this. If your significant other saw what you were doing, would they be okay with your actions or words? If the answer is no, then to me it is cheating or at least being dishonest.
54 comments:
It's human nature to flirt. That said, if it ends your relationship, or you somehow magically end up with the flirtee after said relationship implodes, I think your intentions were pretty damn clear.
To me it doesn't matter what the reason was for getting involved with another person. While you are married I feel you should respect your vows until the divorce is final.
Whether you aren't happy at home, or because he/she cheated on you that still doesn't give a reason to committ adultery.
Sounds like Pitt was carefully coached to give a lawyerly ("Depends on what "is" is) answer.
The only acceptable answer that would keep Pitt in the clear would be that he was faithful to his wife until after their legal separation.
You think with Angelina around Pitt would be faithful before his divorce was final LOL?
Oh he cheated. No doubt. For him to deny it is pure silliness. He's a cheater so is she. & furthermore, once a cheater, always a cheater. Ask Laura Dern about that one.
To me it's simple.
If you say or do something you wouldn't come home and tell your hubby or wife about..its cheating.
Unless its a confession,then you're a honest cheater.
Rare avis - What happen to Laura Dern?
And Yes once a cheater always a cheater.
A friend of mine started having problems in her marriage. Turns out her husband was playing around with an old school girlfriend. My friend instead of leaving her husband and getting on with her life she stuck to the marriage. Don't know if he is faithful but I wouldn't count on that.
To those who love Aniston, Brad cheated.
To those who love Angela, Brad found someone better and moved on.
Both sides will bicker til the cows come home. Nearly everyone in Hwood "cheats"! So I don't see why Brad and Angelina are taking so much heat.
The haters need to move on... just like how Brad did.
No, I don't think they cheated. I think a good friendship grew into something more. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Life is good in la la land...
I do think that Brad cheated, but I think that his nervous answer was because that was not what he was there to talk about, and it's "old news" and he wanted to talk about something more important.
Whether someone cheats or not is no one's business but the 2+ people involved in the relationships.
Please.
Brad and Angie's affair started during the filming of Troy. Everyone seems to forget they worked together before M/M Smith.
Hell yes, he cheated. He cheated long before it was on anybody's radar.
Dern was living with (and engaged to, I think?) Billy Bob Thornton when she was away on a shoot, opened a newspaper and read that he and Angelina Jolie had bought a house together and were engaged. Anybody? I think that was the sequence.
cheater
I thought Billy Bob faxed her on location that they were over...? Either way, it was something a total shitball would do...
Of course they cheated. I just hate that they lie to their fans. Why not just say, yes, I was having problems at home, started getting close with Jolie, and though it wasn't intentional, we did start a relationship while I was still married. Didn't meant to hurt anyone, but it happened.
Come on, people aren't stupid.
I can't believe anyone cares at this point. The guy has 4 kids with a woman who wanted a family - he left a woman who clearly didn't want a family. Yeah, so he's supposed to stay with an insecure neurotic he no longer loves? Would any of you stay with someone who didn't want the kind of life you thought you were going to have, people change - they moved on with their lives.
They do a lot of work helping people all over the world who need help. why concentrate on an old marriage that wasn't going well. Jennifer spent Brad's Birthday in London, while he was in LA alone. It's was so over before Mr & Mrs Smith even started filming.
From June 2004 Vanity Fair, which I always found revealing:
Brad Pitt: " Jen and I always made a pact, that we'll see where this thing is going. I'm not sure it really is in our nature to be with someone for the rest of our lives, just because you made this pact. You keep going as long as you keep growing. When that dies, we do. But it constantly surprises me. Just when you think you've gotten all you can out of it, you get knocked upside the head. It's good fun. We still have that friendship; we still have a good laugh, which can go in and out depending on the dynamics and outside influences. "
Little Miss,
I think you're confusing Troy (Pitt) and Alexander (Jolie).
OMG come ON. Of course he cheated. Jeez, it's Angelina Jolie. Who wouldn't?
I'm a big supporter of this couple, but yes, I believe they got together on the set of MMS. Given the obvious attraction and chemistry, it would have required a superhuman level of self-control to stay apart. It's a shame a marriage had to end, but it's not the first time in history it's ever happened, and it won't be the last. In my opinion, the marriage was dead in the water anyway.
Ent, did he say they flirted? Flirting is flirting, but once body parts start mingling together, that's a no-no.
He cheated. They think we're stoopid. The end.
Sylvia - I certainly don't remember all of the gory details, but Laura Dern and Billy Bob Thornton had been together for quite awhile and she sort of considered them engaged (they might have even been officially engaged; I don't recall). Billy Bob got together with Angelina (while shooting a movie, I think) and then dumped Laura most ungraciously and rather publicly. I'm sick to death of the Angie/Brad thing, but snatching someone else's beloved out from under them is well trod territory for her.
JHC. Haven't you people learned anything by watching blogs like this?? It's all a sham. All of it. Smoke and mirrors. People who think they know Pitt, Aniston, or Jolie, are fools. How can you say you like one or the other? You don't know them. You don't know whose marriage was dead and whose wasn't. Who's really a good person and who's not. They're all needy, attention whores.
What about how Danny Moder famously went home in between shooting telling Julia how Angie had her hooks into him already...AND this was basically a few weeks in. She set her sights on him and the rest is history.
Jessus if I were married and my man left me for Angelina I'd high five him. I'd even ask for details.
Enty- you are so american...that old puritanism is shining through...thats why they kicked our asses out of Europe! Black and White, all or nothing is the Pilgrim influence- flirting is that grey area that makes life fun!
Why do most people consider these actors something that they're not?
They are not brilliant, they are not effective and they are not movers and shakers. They read a few lines in front of a camera and pull faces to make the lines seem more realistic. Sometimes they are to high to read any lines.
They have too much power. No one should care whom they fuck next.
Did Bill Clinton write Brad's answer ?
I just wonder how Brad would have felt had the tables been turned.
having said that, I could see why he'd be over Jen.
She was a huge Pot Head - didn't want to have kids - wasn't interested in anything he wanted.
Still, he probably should have dumped her sooner. But you know, I do think that he and Angie met and it kind of took him by surprise how deep a connection he felt to her. I think they have a great relationship. I just wouldn't try to sugar-coat it. Just come right and say, YEAH, I met someone and fell madly in love, and I needed to end my marriage.
That's the sad thing, though. People do care who they fuck and who they don't. People feel they know them and have some ownership of them. We are pack animals always looking for our alphas.
I like to take things with a grain of salt (well, sorta), but from leaks in Anniston territory, she did her share to contribute to the end of the marriage, and it didn't end over night. She's been linked to a certain type of nose candy (pots not her only regular vice), got fired by five different nutritionists for not eating like they asked her too (her fridge was full of just water) and suppposedly, she also is overly neurotic.
Reese thanks for the info. That was shitty of BB to do that to Laura.
Well I always felt that what goes around comes around. Let's see how Pitt & Jolie stay together.
Billy Bob was engaged to Laura Dern.
From 'Celebrity Breakups'
What went wrong?: The couple confirmed their split on April 6, and by April 7 Angelina Jolie (who co-starred with Thornton in 1999's "Pushing Tin") was seen sporting a "Billy Bob" tattoo.
How did this happen? Thornton and Dern had often talked about marriage and even invested in a Hollywood Hills home. According to the New York Daily News, Thornton called Dern on May 1 to say he had no intention of marrying Jolie but was just "doing his thing" …
Post-split romance: … And four days later, Thornton and Jolie eloped to Las Vegas.
What they've said: Both Dern and Thornton were telling magazines earlier this year of their plans for marriage and their happy home life. Then … "I left home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend got married, and I've never heard from him again," Dern said in the October issue of Talk Magazine. "It's like a sudden death." After the split, Thornton was quoted as saying: "God bless her … I hope she's so happy. I want her to be so happy. But it was over. That's all."
I think that sort of behavior is reprehensible. She is a homewrecker in an unflinching manner. I agree with kellysirkus. By denying what actually happend is self-discrediting and calls into question the truth in anything they say.
I think it's silly that there is so much concern over whether or not he cheated. His marriage wasn't working out, he left it and pursued someone that made him happy.
He and Aniston didn't have any kids, the only person "hurt" was her and really, how do we know she wasn't really relieved that it was over? She got herself a good bit of publicity over the situation. For all any of us know, she was playing it up like the injured party when really, she was thrilled to be rid of him.
If you really want to harp on a cheater, what about Tori Spelling and her husband? He and his wife had a son and a newly adopted daughter when he left his family for Tori Spelling. Now they parade around like some big happy family when his ex wife and two kids are left behind. At least in the Pitt/Aniston split, it was two consenting adults.
Wasn't Billy Bob already married when he hooked up with Dern though? hmmm
Brad doesn't want to ruin is golden man image. I think Brad and Jennifer aniston are both phony bolognas .
I think Angelina Jolie is smug.
First off, I disagree about once a cheater, always a cheater. I cheated on my first husband -(military, he was never around & this was way before the war.) I would never dream of cheating on my current husband. Why not? I grew up, & realized what an ass I looked like to everyone else regardless what my reasons were. I mean seriously, who wants to be with a cheater???
Besides that, I now have tried to live my life based on the whole "treat others the way you want to be treated". I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of my actions.
Regarding the whole Pitt thing. Who cares! Old news and the cow is already compost from over beating. I agree with Jax on his interpretation. I do not flirt with other men and I make a point to say something if I feel they are flirting with me- "knock it off". regardless what my husband would or wouldn't do, I wouldn't want him flirting whether he was implying anything from it or not. Tacky. If a relationship results from "being flirty friends" well then you would have to question the relationship that is being compromised. In my eyes, if you are truly happy with someone, you are blind to anyone else. Not that you can't look, I point out the pretty ones to my husband, but he's not stupid enough to lose what he has.
AND...it's fricken' Hollywood. Nearly everyone sleeps with or does favors with everyone. They are selling themselves, that's their business regardless of the price.
LOL- I meant dead horse not cow!
I mess those things up all the time. I made a comment about how someone wanted to slap his monkey. My husband was pissing his pants laughing at my word slip.
I agree with ENT's definition (also a dr. phil-ism, sorry ENT). it's cheating if you wouldn't do it or say it if your partner could see or hear you. period.
I agree with that, if you're doing anything with that person that your partner or spouse would not like, or would have hurt feelings from, then its cheating.
Brenda 22. The reason they don't come out and tell us is because at the end of the day. Its really NONE of our business.
After Pitt's interview in 2004 in which he stated that he really wanted kids, he was true to that interview and that's what he's doing now. Anniston -- nothing has changed for her. Even if you don't know these two people, just by looking at what they're doing with their lives -- they are two completely different people with nothing in common, especially their values.
this doesn't answer the question, but everybody says jolie did this before (and i can't stand her, and yes, they cheated, blah, blah). but aniston lived with tate donovan for something like six years. i KNOW they did not break up until after the '97 release of disney's "hercules", because folks were saying she was at the cast/crew party with tate (no, i didn't see her myself, it was my first party and i was overwhelmed by the whole thing). so, when did she dump him and hook up with brad?
and i think the line between flirting and cheating is INTENTION. coming from a southern family, i call everybody honey and darlin'. i flirt with everybody.
but i don't go overboard and i have no intentions to. i flirt more when i'm with my husband than i would without him, because its safer, if you get what i mean. but there's a line you don't step over. even if it starts innocently, once you DO cross the line, just own up to it.
shuttin' up now.
I think if you're "emotionally cheating" which I believe Brad was, then it's because there is something seriously lacking in your current relationship. I think we all forget what Angelina was like at the time. She had divorced Billy, was a very happy single mom, and had begun working with the UN. I think we all know from our own personal experiences, when your happy in your personal life you tend to glow, and at the time, I remember thinking she was sooo beautiful (I alway thought she was weird in a devient/sexy sort of way before and she seemed to have finally grown out of it). I sure she had already begun looking for Zahara at that point, and was probably gushing about it to her new friend Brad. Brad meanwhile was in a marriage with a woman who (as we all now believe) was taking male hormones, doing lines and having a weigh-off with her cast mates. Can't say I blame him. At the end of the day, there are three kids, who are way better off, and enjoying (I hope) a lifestyle I would love to have. Good luck to them, I hope they make it...
i do think that they fell for each other on the set and yes they flirted, blah blah and the intent was basically there. they both knew what they were doing, period.
and he waited the customary period and then ended things when the time was right.
but no one knows what went on with jen & brad's marriage. he could have been miserable for a long time and just hung on. most people dont leave a relationship until they meet someone else that's worth leaving the other person for.
but this thing with brad & angie wont last, she'll get bored and move on, eventually.
I think that marriage was long over before they made the "official announcement".
I don't think he cheated and if he did I don't care and it's been a long time and I wish everyone would drop it.
Who cares? He and Angelina are in love and have a beautiful family and are doing so much good for others. Aniston is a whiny good for nothing waste of space and Brad realized and moved onward and upward. Good for him!
no one will know for sure what happened...what we do know is that the Vanity Fair shoot with Brad n Ang was pretty cold and callous in its timing..not to mention the whole concept of the shoot was Brad's.
They totally cheated. She was preganant with his kid before the ink even made it onto his divorce papers. And, according to her, the baby was planned--fricking heartless and low class.
Don't get me wrong...Jen Aniston was probably no walk in the park to live with, but she didn't deserve to be publicly humiliated.
I like how people are going on about his ex wife not wanting kids or taking male homones. Do you see who you are quoting? One, you're quoting the tabloids, the same tabloids who say they cheated and two, you're quoting the random Brangelina freak fan who loathes Aniston to tears so duh, is going to say whatever she wants, be it straight bullshit or not. Let's get the story straight here. You believe the tabloids who say his wife never wanted kids, but you don't believe the same tabloids who have all said they cheated?
He cheated and it's old news. Let's see how long it takes before he cheats again, or Angelina cheats. Once a cheater always a cheater and what comes around goes around.
I never understood what people saw in Brad Pitt. He just comes off to me, to be dumb as dirt. He is the man that constantly wants to "look smart" but in reality is not.
I remember seeing him on Oprah when he was pushing that movie Troy... and he just came off incredibly dense. He sat there trying too hard. It was sad. I always suspect he was dumb but that interview removed all doubt.
So I look at it like this... Angelina got what she deserved.
A dumb man who will spend all their money if she does not watch him at all times.
I would be surprise if she keeps him around. Cause she never has been one to shy away from marriage. But she has made it obvious she won't legally marry him.
I don't really care about all that cheating crap, my thing is just that if Brad was going to get with Angelina, I wish he could have found a way to keep it on the down-low and split with his wife in a civil way that allowed her to "save face" a little bit. The way he just dumped her to the dogs was appalling.
I think Brad cheated. I love Angelina but she has no morals when it comes to stealing other people's men. For this I really thought much less of her, despite her humanitarian causes. I can't stand Jennifer Aniston but she definitely behaved better than Brad. If Brad had fallen out of love with Jennifer he should have ended it, but instead he's a total pussy-whipped idiot who does exactly what Angelina wants. He needs to grow a pair since obviously his balls were cut off, and Angelina's probably wearing them around her neck.
I say it was cheating if you want to get technical.
On the other hand, the Pitt/Aniston marriage had fizzled before Mr. & Mrs. Smith started filming.
So if you know the marriage you are in is not going to make it, and the other person and you have both discussed this and understand it probably isn't forever . . is it cheating? What exactly was the vow between Pitt/Aniston? They both described the marriage as a "well, so long as we both feel like it" pact.
Looks like Brad didn't feel like being married to Aniston anymore.
S.h.r.u.g.
They cheated. I know a guy who was kept awake by them 'cheating' in a hotel in Italy. I think it was the October/November of that year.
Divorces can take a long, long time to resolve. Some of you are saying that a person isn't allowed to develop relationships with other people unless they are officially divorced...and I can see why you could say that if you have never been through the process. However, in my opinion, if you are living with someone in a committed relationship (ie, marriage or otherwise) and you go astray from that relationship, that is cheating. Also, in my opinion, if you are married, but the spouse leaves you and seeks a divorce, during the pendancy of the divorce (ie, the seperation), you are allowed to develop relationships and this should not be considered cheating.
I cannot believe that this blog is giving Jennifer Anison press. Again. Let it die.
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