Tuesday, May 29, 2007

ZX-Syrians, Hula Hoops, Aliens And St. Anthony

My best friend had an assassin themed birthday party and I chose to go as Matilda from "The Professional."It did 19,000,500 at the box office but you'd be surprised at how many party goers had not seen the film. I had even chopped into my best wig to imitate Natalie Portman's bob, and brought a potted plant and a gun.


I went into my best friend's apartment building and got off on the third floor, knocked and rang the doorbell irritatedly, 'Come on people, if you're having a party, leave the door open.' A Syrian girl whom I'd not yet met, came to the door, and I smiled at her and breezed right past, into the living room. Hmmm. I didn't recognize anyone yet. Maybe out on the balcony. Nope, more Syrians. And they'd moved the couches- nice touch. "Are you sure you're in the right apartment?" asked the door girl. I just looked at her. I had a freaking GUN and a potted plant, hadn't even introduced myself, and marched inside SOMEONE ELSE'S APARTMENT like you only would if it were your best friend and you'd been there fifty million times.


WHAT?! I pressed two, not three on the elevator, DIDN'T I?!! Apologized, blushing and sweating and feeling a total fool, but all of them were very nice. When I finally found the right party it was awesome and boasted some extremely talented hula hoopers, I mean, it was like pole dancing with a hoop. Pole dancing is sold short as stripping. It's actually an amazing art form, and requires superior strength. Hats off to those who can hang upside down and slide down a pole, while still looking seductive. I think I'd be able to master it, but look awkward and anxious and probably crash to the floor. I get all my dance moves from Snoopy and Little Miss Sunshine.

ZX's best friend

I went to an appointment for a sci-fi script, which was at LAX, of all places, drove right past the address and finally parked my rental in short term airport parking. The meeting went fine until I compared the script to Alien and asked whom they had playing the main antagonist. The director said, "Lance Hendriksen." Oh. I don't know who that is. The director looked at me simperingly, "You know, the guy in Alien."Oh shit. I still had no idea who he was talking about." The guy who played Bishop.""Ooooohhhh! Yeah. He was great!" I felt like a total idiot. I have no appreciation for actors- I didn't grow up with TV since the time I was watching Mr. Ed on Nick at Nite and our twelve foot satellite dish took off down the mountain in a wind storm. He said that he was raised on TV and I said, "Oh, then we'll never get along," and left, feeling like a complete idiot.



The feeling was multiplied when I couldn't find my car, and realized with a wilting sensation that not only had I been looking for the wrong car for half an hour, but that I had no idea what the stupid rental looked like, except that the back was too high and had limited visibility when you were trying to reverse. Oh, and it was silver... Definitely silver. Rainman, why, why do you posses me? I prayed silently to Saint Anthony, patron saint of lost things, to whom I owe about thirty dollars by now. When I was at Olvera St., I bought a St. Anthony medallion, but I can't seem to find it.

42 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:37 AM

    Wow, so i guess it is DS...

    Im not crazy right? that is a picture of her....right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:53 AM

    That's what I thought, too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11:56 AM

    BF looks like Piper Perabo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous12:03 PM

    I'm relieved to have finally found someone else who has walked into someone else's home for a party by mistake. I did the same thing and was mortified. I wasn't holding a gun and a potted plant, but I was mortified nonetheless! Thanks ZX for helping me not feel so alone! lol

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  5. Anonymous12:24 PM

    "I bought a St. Anthony medlallion, but i can't seem to find it." D'oh! Isn't that how things work? That's why I can't do the organized religion thing, too many frills and not enough thrills. LOL!

    Tracee

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  6. Anonymous12:31 PM

    that is SO funny! i've done some incredibly stupid things in my life (somersaults on the neighbor's lawn when THEY came home from a late-nite party?) but luckily not gone into the wrong party!
    i do, however lose my car everytime i take mr. bunny's car or the suv. even if mr. bunny is still sitting in the car waiting for me.
    which begs the question, ZX, did you EVER find the car??

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  7. Anonymous12:37 PM

    It says beneath the photo that it's ZX's best friend.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous12:51 PM

    ZX...I've got you beat by one...

    I once went to the wrong party dressed as a scarecrow! Talk about humiliating! I thought I was going to a costume party, but it was just a regular get together. Whoops! Well...we can laugh about it now!

    Mary Mac

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous12:52 PM

    I'm sure I owe St. Antoine Millions by now, LOL! ;)
    I usually find my sunglasses after searching for them for like, 30 mins. right where I left them: On top of my head....

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  10. Anonymous12:53 PM

    the hula hooper looks like dominique swain, but from recent photos on wireimage, ds is more a ponytail kinda girl.

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  11. Anonymous1:00 PM

    Could her best friend be her sister?

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  12. Anonymous1:01 PM

    Kind of funny that Star Magazine is sitting on the coffee table.

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  13. Anonymous1:07 PM

    Hmmm, is ZX a Catholic? Not that I am up on which actresses are, but I've never heard of Protestants petitioning St. Anthony for help.

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  14. Anonymous1:26 PM

    Gosh, ZX! You are either having a mishap in your car or losing your way somehow (Ryan Gosling's party, your best friend's apartment, the way to the adjuster's, etc.) Now you've lost your rental - how do you remember your lines? Ha - just kidding! Your best friend has a nice apartment with a stone fireplace on the second floor. Why wasn't she dressed as an assassin (she's not even wearing a bra!) She's pretty wild and crazy, too!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous1:52 PM

    Is this the stupid friend who can't drive who has anger issues?

    Who is so WACKY?!?!?!?

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  16. Anonymous2:00 PM

    i thought the blonde looked like Ali Larter...or piper perabo..i swear she danced like that in cayote ugly.
    -jax

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous2:06 PM

    Wow. Looks like a kickin party... I forgot, it was an "assassin" party. I guess everyone is hiding.

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  18. Anonymous2:23 PM

    One Halloween I put on a mask to visit my grandma in hospital. It was a gruesome demon like mask and I GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FLOOR. Ended up in some old guy's room by mistake and backed out, still in mask, saying "Sorry wrong room". I'm sure he was telling his family later that death had come for him. I spent all the rest of the visit listening for a Code Blue.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous2:46 PM

    I don't know who she is...but i think i love her.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous3:00 PM

    Pinky,

    When it was first posted it didnt say anything underneath the picture. Ent fixed it to avoid confusion i guess.

    Still think it looks like DS though

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous3:13 PM

    I still think it's DS. Go to IMDB and take a look at what she's working on...assassin's? Hmm...

    Tracee

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous3:15 PM

    Am I the only one who thinks this woman is a total MORON???

    1. Walks into the wrong party--doesn't even bother to introduce herself to the woman who opens the door, like she's some sort of servant.
    2. Can't find where her meeting is. At the Airport. One of the BIGGEST airports in the world. hint: it's the building with all the pretty flying things.
    3. Puts foot in mouth at meeting by mentioning a movie that she clearly knows nothing about. Duh.
    4. Can't find car, cuz she's looking for the wrong one???? C'mon....pay attention!!!
    5. Prior to this, crashes new car by not paying attention.
    6. Previous to THAT, crashes old car by not paying attention.
    7. Routinely regales us with stories about pretending to be special needs and egging on schizophrenics. For fun.

    ZX--you are an idiot and caught up in your own sense of self-importance. Do yourself a favor and grow up, get a "real" job that requires you use your brain and not your breasts. You don't really think they're hiring you for your "talent", do you?? You can't remember what friggin' CAR you're driving, how could you possibly have the capacity to memorize lines?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous3:35 PM

    anon-3:15

    Chill the hell out. She's obviously exaggerating. YOU are the stick in the mud MORON. Think before you post, the rest of us enjoy her posts.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous4:02 PM

    Yeah, I noticed that Breaker, I should have said "it's tagged 'ZX best friend' now."

    And anon 3:15 - I'm tired of you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous4:30 PM

    I didn't grow up with TV since the time I was watching Mr. Ed on Nick at Nite and our twelve foot satellite dish took off down the mountain in a wind storm.

    ZX was a kid in the late '80's or early early 90's

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous5:05 PM

    Does that photo not look like Ali Larter? I believe ZX may be Amy Smart. The age fits, the location near dad fits (she grew up in Topanga Canyon) and she has not only been in several movies with Ali Larter but also was once roommates with her back in the day!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous5:28 PM

    DS is currently filming a movie in LA according to IMDB. Yep I have to agree this is her......Also if it weren't I would say EL will give us a hint on Friday that isn't so we can wonder all weekend, LOL.

    ZX-I have traveld a lot and have had a ton of rental cars....I have also lost a car or two in the parking lot.

    DOH! for walking into the wrong party, hehehe

    Love your posts

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous5:40 PM

    Hmmmm, The best friend looks like chloe sevigny to me.

    For comparison..
    http://perezhilton.com/topics/chloe_sevigny/caption_me_chloe_sevigny_feels_the_beat_20060412.php#comments

    Check out the second photo.

    --nicole--

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous5:53 PM

    I think she kind of looks like the girl from the "infamous" pool photo shoot.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous6:08 PM

    but what movies have amy smart and DS been in that would appeal to younger pre-teen girls such that they would clutch her DVD at that dinner party she blogged about earlier. I got the impression it might have had her photo on the DVD cover.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous6:40 PM

    This is a random guess, seeing as I'm still exhausted from Memorial Day and can't think very clearly, but something about ZX's tone really, really reminds me of Amanda Bynes..... I think she's about 21 right? Even though ZX sounds mature, you can tell she's still young and doing fun, kooky stuff. And her friend looks pretty young, too. A co-worker of mine spotted her in Pastis a few days ago. I should read posts and see if she mentions NY or her whereabouts on that day. But then again, I'm starting to feel like a stalker! -Media Darling

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  32. Anonymous6:49 PM

    Ok, one other thought... IF LG is, in fact, Lauren Graham and if ZX is, in fact, Amanda Bynes, it might make sense that they know each other because both had tv shows on the same network - WB (Gimore Girls/ What I Like About You.) - MediaDarling

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  33. Anonymous6:52 PM

    Ok, maybe not AB since she referred to another actress as a "tv girl" in a post way down below. Hmmm... I'm still pondering/thinking aloud. She did try out for an ABC pilot... - MediaDarling

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  34. Anonymous7:53 PM

    anon-3:15

    go to fatboy hiltons blog, you will fit right in with the other bitches.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous9:32 PM

    I love Amanda Bynes. She's adorable!

    According to IMDB, she did live with her dad in CA until she got her own apartment. ZX lives in a house, right?

    Amanda does have a dog like ZX.

    It doesn't mention any projects she's currently working on.

    What are the other guesses for ZX?

    -Miss X

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  36. Anonymous10:30 PM

    who is ds?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous11:54 PM

    Creative minds are supposed to be eccentric. Or dizzy. Isn't this what makes her a great talent in her respective field?

    If she can remember Natalie Portman in The Professional, then she should be mindful to remember the actor who played the supporting role in Aliens, who also played the lead role in the movie Pumpkinhead and the series Millenium (this guy's been around a while). Oh, and Luc Besson played the Professional with Danny Aiello. Remember that ZX , you'll be graded on your next pop quiz!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous2:02 AM

    Luc directed; Jean Reno starred. Loved it.
    DS = Dominique Swain.
    Juju

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous4:58 AM

    ohh, i'm glad i'm not the only early/mid 20s chick who still hula hoops! i tried pole dancing before it was cool (in other words, at a real strip club... and yes, i will vehemently deny this if ever asked about it). yeah, pole dancing is harder than it looks. the secret is instead of wearing lucite stipper heels, wear knee high patent leather stripper boots: the patent grabs onto the pole giving you traction, thus reducing the chances of falling on your head.

    who said that... i'm a good girl. good thing i never went all the way to hollywood & vine with my pretty woman fantasy life.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anonymous9:28 AM

    anon 3:15

    You are not the only one that feels that way. I am slowly getting the same impression about DS. However, be mindful that the people who are regulars on this blog are very protective and star struck. Hard to give a difference of opinion without getting your ass chewed off. When you are young, grow up in Socal and are in the entertainment biz it isn't really a stretch to see these young actresses buy into their own hype. It's sad because I know there are many who must be halfway intelligent and not so self absorbed.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous11:03 AM

    Anon 9:28 and 3:15,
    I'm a regular and def. not star struck. The blogs and posts that keep me entertained at work. But say what you gotta say. No one is saying otherwise.

    But why post bitchy things, call peeps out and then post anonymously? It comes off cowardly. 9:28 complain away, it's ur right...no one "knows" who you are.

    3:15, I think ur taking ZX's just a little too personally. You don't have to read the posts if it grates you that much. See that "x" in the corner? Push that and all will be right in your world.

    Peace
    Tracee

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  42. Anonymous11:17 PM

    DS was also in a movie called New Best Friend or something like that.
    With her sister!
    ManD

    ReplyDelete

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