When I went to sleep last night, there was still no word from ZX, and so I gathered she wasn't going to be writing anything for today. Of course I didn't realize that she does her best writing at 3am. I'm also glad she doesn't have my phone number, because I know she would have called me at 3am to tell me it was done. She does have a sexy voice though, so… Anyway, I digress. Last night at about 9pm I did get this interesting e-mail which I am sharing here now with the author's permission.
Absolutely love your blog and since stumbling upon it a while back, have made it a must read with my morning coffee. The blind items are for sure the most intriguing and original around; a refreshing break from the usual rehashed stuff from page six on everyone else's sites. And the anon actress blog had me in stitches and hooked from the first one, eager to see the next postings and hoping they'd find the time to do them more frequently than once a week. I was gleefully diving into ZX's latest post when I quickly nearly choked my coffee back up, realizing I was in the story, well sort of…as I happened to be one of the “12 jury members” aka “20 scowling executives ” mentioned. lol. Too funny! So, needless to say, I’ve figured who ZX is, and to her credit, her recap of the whole testing process and that day in particular was pretty spot on! Well, except I'm pretty sure I wasn't scowling during her tests. 🙂 Love, love, love your site and ZX's posts! Hope she keeps writing and does so often. And hope you pass on how much I enjoyed reading her rendition of the test, as seriously, she was so accurate about it, it took me all of two seconds to realize who she was amongst the gazillions of people I saw and tests I sat through this pilot season. Cheers! – A devoted reader.
I did pass it on to ZX this morning and she thought it was the funniest thing ever. Thanks to the reader for also keeping the secret. Here is ZX's post for today.
I was still moping and snivelling this weekend, whining how nobody likes me and how I'll never get another job, but my best friend knows what to do. She said, “Whatever! At least you tested. And your boyfriend was a total tool. I can't believe you even dated him. I have a new dress. Do you have any fun parties to go to tonight?” So I got out of bed, checked my email, and VOILA! An hour later we arrived to… Empty parking spaces right in front of the venue. Either EVERYONE valeted. Or. I forgot what day today was. Whoops. Could happen to anyone. So we walked to Toi and shared red curry seafood. “Sharing” with your best friend means stuffing-your-face-as-fast-as-you-can. No chopsticks shit. So on the REAL party night, my idea of a good time was to not talk to anyone and make friends with the waiters and dumplings. But there was NO FOOD. It wasn't fair. It was like a circus with no clowns.
I found some consolation people watching, another way of not really talking to anyone or feeling uncomfortable when you don't drink or do drugs. Or smoke now. It used to be so nice when you found an interesting slash outrageously sexy slash nice person, to say “Come outside and smoke with me.” Even if they didn't smoke, inevitably you'd have them alone and see whether they were as great as they seemed. “Come outside with me,” doesn't have the same ring to it. It actually sounds sleazy and desperate. The people watching fun was short lived though when the hostess came over and asked me to do press and I thought, 'Oh here we go…' I did some press
and “Oh by the way,” would you mind talking to People Magazine?”
“So what have you been up to lately?”
Felt like saying mind your own business but said, 'Oh, well I just tested for something but… I didn't get it.”
“And how about in the future?”
“Uhhh… Weeelllll. Your guess is as good as mine.”
I could see his eyes begin to glaze.
“Who designed your dress?”
Oh God. “I got it at a garage sale.”
He couldn't wait to rewind the tape fast enough to make room for a REAL STAR. You try telling People Magazine that you're a total loser in a $5 dress. All in all a good night. Then we went to Benito's Tacos.
So today I spoke to my agent about my career and he said that since auditioning hadn't been getting me what I wanted, they have a new gameplan to play to my strengths. Nice way of saying it, Buddy. Very diplomatic. Very intellectual. I hate intellectuals. I feel like the more you focus on what you're trying to say, the less you say what you mean. “I feel… that primarily… … it was… inconsequential that… blah blah blah. So I end up filling in the blanks with whatever I please and they get frustrated and never speak to me again. So I go surfing.
I have a little confession to make. The real reason I quit smoking is because I met someone I want to kiss. Again.