If you are bored this afternoon and want to watch Nicole Richie allegedly snorting and licking some coke in a video, then please do enjoy. Remember to share the coke, or Paris will get pissed. After all she did have to get it up the butt to get the coke.

I have been trying to finish a long blind item and hopefully will get a chance in the next day or so. It won't be as long as some of the others I have written, but will give you an insight to some celebrity lives that will definitely jade you if you are not yet jaded about Hollywood.

So this is barely a blind item, but we will count it as such. Last night at a movie premiere, it was discovered that a recent romance with a very unlikely couple should actually be categorized as a "romance." Seems our actress was looking for some publicity for her new film while her new "boyfriend" agreed to help because he had started to fade from the limelight as well. Our actress made one other recent attempt to garner some headlines, but no one was buying what she was offering. Whatever kisses you saw on camera were the only kisses these two shared. Although good friends, they are only good friends and more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend.

This award winning A-list actor has been in and out of numerous relationships this past year. His current girlfriend thinks she is the one because of what he has been saying to her in private and in public. What she doesn't know is that when he has been doing interviews for his latest film and has been alone, he has been passing out a phone number to ladies that catch his eye. When they call the number they get one of his assistants. The assistant then schedules a time for the actor and woman to get together for an extended "interview." These extended interviews are one of the reasons the actor's recent marriage did not work out.

This B list actress has always had a career with lots of starts and stops. At one point everyone she was the next big thing. At some point though, her moods and her sexuality caused her to lose a few parts that she would have otherwise been given. Now, with her career back on track and concerns about which team she plays for mostly irrelevant, there is a new problem she is being forced to face. Face literally. She was given some bad botox injections and has had some intermittent problems moving her facial muscles. Right now doctors are taking a wait and see attitude to her most recent outbreak, but our actress is really afraid she will start to sputter again and never get back.

Kim Kardashian In Playboy

Kim Kardashian. Playboy. Merry Christmas.

Celebrity Fit Club is one of the few shows on television that I make a point to watch. I do this because I get a sick thrill of seeing all the F and G listers that I once represented and how their careers are in the toilet, thanks to my great representation. I also enjoy watching people that are fatter than me and how some think they are divas. Not counting Ant of course, because Ant is a diva.

Well it turns out this season of CFC is full of fights, dildos, Screech and Marcia Brady, not to mention Tiffany who once let me...(well twice, but it was not good for her either time. I really think I could have gone for three, but she was getting really annoyed that I kept humming her songs and asking her if she thought we were alone now.) and also Ant getting into a fight with Dr. Ian. It makes me wish for the calmer episodes with a Baldwin or the Snapple Lady. I guess Screech is running around with a video camera begging Marcia to sleep with him or da Brat or Tiffany or if all else fails, even Ant or Ross the Intern. Basically Screech is up for anything with anyone as long as his career continues for another six months. Kimberly Locke is going to be on there. I guess she must have started packing on the pounds after Clay Aiken moved out. Those breakups are tough. As usual there are some people on there that I really could care less about at first, but I will no doubt get sucked into their lives and whatever. Naaaah. It sounds good, but I am sure they will be boring.

I do also like to kiss VH1's ass because if you do it well enough they link you to The Best Week Ever and then some H lister will talk about you on television. Not that kind of H lister, although at least they would be famous for something.

Britney Spears has not offered $25 Million to K-Fed

Jeannette Walls is the gossip columnist over at MSNBC. She is wrong way more often than she is right, but you do have to give her credit for at least coming out with something fresh and not just regurgitating what everyone else has. Her latest effort at being fresh is a column in which she claims that K-Fed turned down $25M from Britney Spears. First of all I do not think that much has been offered yet. Of course if you are saying that it is $25M which includes a house and some shoes and all his sweatsuits it could be close. From what I understand, if $25M or its equivalent in shoes and sweats was on the table, K-Fed would take it in a second.

So a word of advice. NEVER believe an IT guy when they say the network is only going to be down ten or fifteen minutes. One hour later and to get on a network, I am hacking into Perez over at his office.

Pete Doherty video of him injecting drugs while talking to Kate Moss and lying through his teeth. You really need to see this video.

Did you know that all five of the women nominated for Best Actress at the Academy Awards have all appeared naked in film? Well, they have, and the people at the UK newspaper which I do not name, have managed to scour up photos of them all. Yes, even Helen Mirren and Judi Dench. Not the present day Helen Mirren or Judi Dench. So do not be afraid to click, although all are NSFW.


So, American Idol is thinking of replacing Paula Abdul with Courtney Love. Well they both have a way of being foolish on camera. I think they have slept with some of the same people. So you are replacing drugs with alcohol or vice versa? Replacing Crazy loopy crazy versus Crazy, I could get a gun crazy? Replacing kissing Simon's cheek versus spanking them? Replacing standing ovations with flashing the crowd?


More to come in about 30 minutes

So one more day to get all your plugs in to me. I really want to try and make them into at least something reasonably coherent. So far people want me to mention everything from garage sales to dog shows to plays to charities to bands to CD's to comics to a wedding. Well, whatever makes people happy. So, please try and get them in by tomorrow afternoon.


Ummmm. Harry Potter is not wearing his robes. Actually he is not wearing much of anything. I knew he was going to get naked for a play, but I thought he would look like I did when I was 17. A permanent hangover and beer gut. After looking at his pics, I don;t know if I should go to the gym or just talk trash about him.


I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. No, not because Paris Hilton is on my mind. This time I threw up a little because Jean-Claude Van Damme is going around telling everyone how he bonked Kylie Minogue. Yes, I am sure she is ashamed and never whispers his name, but it happened. Of course it happened 12 years ago, but I am sure the memories are awful. Women did think he was sexy right?

This B list television actress is a new relationship with a guy only she could love. The problem is that the the guy really thinks he is God's gift to women. She wants this relationship to work out so much that she is looking past his blatant flirting with other women, while she is standing there. She thinks it is love and he is just using her as a free ticket for award show season. He has no interest in her outside of being that extra ticket, and has acted accordingly. Whether her back is turned or not, he is always looking for the next one. Her friends are appalled, but know it has been awhile since anyone cared and are just hoping things turn out for the best.

Speaking of cads, this young B list television actor has been having his way with his much younger co-star. She is so enamored of him, his fame, and the attention that she thinks nothing of his requests to bring in other women to their relationship. She will do anything to make him happy and hang onto to what she thinks is love. Our actor enjoys watching and filming her with whomever he can find. When he has trouble finding someone, he sends her out to bars and clubs to find someone to bring home. Our actor has enough films of his young co-star in bed with other women and men to put Paris Hilton to shame.

Mark Wahlberg and Scarlett Johansson together?

Last story about Sienna Miller. I promise. Seems that the only thing she kept from all the swag bags she has received lately are some panties because she forgot hers somewhere. Yes, I could see how that would be a big problem for her.

I bet you thought I was not going to talk about Pete Doherty and Kate Moss today. Well, why should I? I am really tired of both of them. Honestly, I do not even remember if I have a blind item about him out there or not. I need to go back and look. Is rehab together a good idea? Well, I do not think anything with these two together is a good idea. But, read the article, look at the photos and be glad you are not them.

Pete has been to rehab so many times he even has everything all packed including his guitar. "Clothes? check..Smokes? check...Drug dealer's phone number? check...Guitar for picking up the ladies? check....Guitar hiding places filled? check..."

Clicking this link will let you in on 30 photos of them going to rehab. I guess it was not a secret they were going.

Sometimes I make a smart-ass comment to myself and I think I should put that on the blog. Sometimes I actually think I have put it on the blog and realize when I sober up, that I really did not. Such is the case with Mr. Sean Combs. (for those of you over at Fox News who think The Police at the Grammy Awards is a surprise, you probably refer to Mr. Combs as Puff Daddy or P. Diddy) Anyway, after striking out with Jessica Biel at the Golden Globes. Yes, I say striking out because Jamie Foxx was there and was not letting go. Anyway, Mr. Combs decided that the second string should be called in. Not, the third string Danity Kane chick, or the fourth string, the mother of his children, but the second string.

So Sienna Miller was called in and I guess took care of whatever it is needed taking care of as she is wont (is that a word?) to do. No sign of any of her conquests. No sign of a video camera in her possession, but as much as she likes talking about filming sex, she and Joe"I am a convict" Francis and Paris or is it Amber Hilton need to get together. There is a video of Sean Combs at her place though and he has a deer in headlights look for sure.

"Hi, I am Billy Bob Thornton. I am just like EVERY other guy in the world. I want to sit at home and watch sports and cartoons. It does not matter if you are married to Angelina Jolie, or a troll, we all just want to sit around and do nothing. Sure Angelina was hot, but sometimes, aww hell, most of the time sports and cartoons were going to win out for me. Have you ever tried to watch a baseball game in the middle of Africa? I have and it cannot be done."
I also totally believe Billy Bob when he said he had not cheated on Angelina. I would be so scared to. I can just see her staring at me while I am sleeping and just know she is going to do something Misery like.


Everyone always thinks I like Team Aniston more. Honestly, I think Angelina is about ten times hotter. There is a pic of Angelina at Davos, Switzerland from two years ago, and I was like wow. Incredible photo. Intelligent, gorgeous, but she just scares the shit out of me and Brad is scared too. Billy Bob was not whipped by Angelina, just scared to cross her.

In regards to the blind items and the message board, the blind items will stay on the blog exclusively for the first three days. After three days, most people have stopped guessing unless there are hints or some other clues. I also paid for some kind of gold membership which will eliminate the ads. There is nothing I can do about the one ad you are forced to click around when you sign up though.

Because Ms. Taylor seems to be litigation happy, let me be clear that this is satirical(yes, Ms. Taylor it is 4 syllables. Have someone work it out with you)

"Hi, I am Niki Taylor and I used to be famous. More of a Nicole Richie kind of famous rather than an actress kind of famous. Anyway, E came to my house and did a little one hour show on me. I thought it was going to show how I am so successful and have the greatest new husband and talk about all my current projects which no one really cares about anyway. Well, they made me look like I have had a tragic life. I am okay with that, but since they rejected my proposal about a reality show featuring me, me, me, I decided to sue them for slander. They still will not give me a reality show, but I got to be in the news for another day."

If you are bored this afternoon and feel like watching a brand new 20 minutes of Paris Hilton and her convict ex-boyfriend, here is the video. It is NSFW. If you want to see the nine other videos from last week, just click one of the labels.

You cannot see me now, but I am giving Jeeeze a standing ovation. Jeeeze has worked so hard and so diligently over the past several weeks to create the finest message board on the internet. It has every blind item to be guessed and considered and will allow for everyone to discuss whatever they want. I REALLY appreciate Jeeeze doing this and hope everyone will give the message board a chance and also to say thanks to Jeeeze as well.

Some SAG blind items

Last night at the SAG awards, this B list television actress either had too much too drink or had some other problem which caused her to be found slumped against a bathroom door. Babbling incoherently she spent fifteen minutes on the floor and refused repeated offers for help. She managed to crawl a few feet and then got to her feet with a helping hand and then staggered back to the show. Undeterred by whatever her ailment was, she was later seen partying all night long. It is unknown whether she spent any additional time inspecting bathroom floors.

Last night at the SAG awards, this actress from a hit show, made multiple visits to the bathroom during just the first hour of the show. When she returned from her last visit, she muttered that it was all gone now and she was just going to have to suffer until the show was over. At an after party, she kept trying to corner an actor from a different hit show. When her advances were repeatedly declined, she tried one more trick. She lowered her dress to reveal a very large set of breasts and when he refused to look or touch, she said, "I knew you were gay. I just won $200."

Clay Aiken article claiming he trolled for guys on manhunt.com is a Hoax

Some things to say.

#1- I actually think Perez is the best gossip person out there. With the exception of outing, which I am not a fan of, I think he is the best. He is relevant, works hard and every gossip blog wants to be him. Well, not him exactly, but you get the point. Although I like to think I do a great job on blind items, I am fully cognizant of the fact that Perez could kick my ass with his sources, should he choose to concentrate on blind items. I also do not think that Perez posted this knowing it was false. He knew it was a good story and if it was a heterosexual thing, I would have probably run with it myself.

#2- I am not a fan of Clay Aiken, nor do I dislike him. I am just kind of indifferent towards him.

#3 - I believe the webcam shots of Clay Aiken are real.

In case you have not read the story, please feel free. The summary is that Clay Aiken trolled the internet looking for a guy to hook up with. He found someone on Manhunt which is a website, well, exactly what it sounds like and they then proceeded to IM each other. To convince his hookup, that he is in fact Clay Aiken, he holds up four fingers to the camera after the guy tells him to. Got it? Good, let's move to why it is a hoax.

The manhunt screen ---

So, we are supposed to believe this is Clay Aiken. Why? Because an informant tells Perez it is? I can go on a dating site right now and set up two accounts. One will make it sound like it is Jennifer Aniston, and the other Angelina Jolie. I can then send an e-mail or two which makes it look like they want to hookup. It is ridiculous, because no one would believe it. But, would you believe it if I made one of Jake Gyllenhal and another guy? Yes, because the perception whether true or not is that Jake is gay.

Let's move to the IM chat.

First of all, Clay has changed screen names. It is not uncommon to use a different name from a dating site and also your Yahoo e-mail so we will say that could be legitimate. The only other thing that does not make any sense is that in the e-mails on the site, they determined that both were in Raleigh Durham, NC, but for some reason five minutes later on IM, they need to reiterate it. Now, the easiest way to set this part up is to have a couple of friends chat each other up and make sure they use the language that is the most damning. Short of that, one guy with two computers can do it just as easily.

Let us move to the clincher. The webcam pics.

If I am talking to Kate Hudson on a webcam, why do I need to have her hold up four fingers to prove it is her? Obviously there is someone there on the other end. How does it prove it is Kate Hudson if she holds up up four fingers?

The four fingers is the key. In my blind items, I know the answer, and the reader does not. I can then arrange the clues however I want. If this was Lindsay Lohan on webcam and she was holding up four fingers, do you think we could construct a conversation that has her buying 4 grams of coke from a guy she met online?

Although it is a good hoax, that is all it is. In fact, it is almost identical to one from last March, where Clay was online and someone had webcam photos of him. The mind wants to believe the fourth photo is Clay because the first three have you hooked. But, in the fourth, where there is skin, there is no face, only a body.

Do, I think Clay trolls online for guys? Probably not. There are other more discreet ways to meet people. Do I think Clay goes online and uses a webcam? Absolutely.

I have seen these kinds of hoaxes before. I have had clients who were allegedly photographed in all kinds of positions or had e-mails on their computer, or belonged to dating sites. The object is to embarrass or humiliate or extort or gain a settlement.

So two questions I have. Why do you think Ken Paves went to the John Mayer concert? Just asking. Also, would someone please explain this outfit Jessica Simpson is wearing. Are they coming from the pool and John does not have a bathing suit? I would say yes to the bathing suit, but she is wearing 6 inch heels. I know you cannot see them in this pic, but trust me she is. Maybe Pimpa Joe wanted to make it look like they got caught together and Jessica had nothing on except the heels. OR, maybe that is how he likes to imagine Jessica. I really do not know the answer, but the photo has been bugging me.

So, let me see if I got this straight. Posh was supposed to play an alien, but dropped out. J-Lo is going to take over that role because then she will better be able to identify with her husband. In addition, they are also going to take over the role of Scientologists from the Beckhams who also no longer want to play. And now, Britney Spears is going to play multiple aliens simultaneously. Was there some test screening that said audiences were dying to see them some aliens? "Gee Martha, I wish there were some damn aliens in this Little Miss Summer."

Why is it that when Mariah Carey is on the cover of Playboy she is actually wearing more clothes than I have ever seen her wear? I thought the point, although difficult for her would be to wear less.

Is there an answer to a blind item somewhere in this article?

See, now this is television. Lock up a bunch of celebrity drug addicts in a Big Brother type television show and watch the fun begin.

So Paris Hilton and her ex-boyfriend the convict want to sue to stop all the damage that has been done to them from the release of Paris Hilton Exposed. Now, tell me what the damage is exactly? That she enjoys having sex on film? That people saw her naked? That she has herpes? That she was kissing a girl? That she doesn't have $208 to her name? That she dates convicts? That she does drugs? That she got it up the butt for coke? That she enjoys baths? Which part damaged her squeaky clean reputation? Oh, none of it did. She just wants to be paid and if you throw enough attorneys at someone, people will always settle. So in the 1 day that Joe and Lindsay went out, how many videos do you think he made of them?

Hints next Friday to help you out with some of the tough blind items from this past week.

Four For Friday

This former A-list actress has been in two of my favorite movies. Because of this I would normally be sympathetic to her but she has gone just a bit too far. Having literally been on her own since her teenage years, this actress has battled through drug problems and high profile relationships to at least have a solid career. It is not the career that was expected of her, and if her current behavior continues, it might be the end of any career at all. She has always been able to play on her name and her work in her older films. That is all about to change. In her latest film, she attempted to seduce at least two of the married actors on the film and as many non-actors as well. She did it because she claimed she was bored and thinks it is fun to f*** with other people's lives. What she is doing is ensuring that her now sporadic work will be no work in the future.

This lower B list actress has been in a long term Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell type relationship and is in another of my all-time favorite movies. Some say the relationship is a throwback to the summer of love. They have always done it all. Whether it be exploring their respective sexualities or experimenting with mood altering substances, they have always shared it together. It is because of this lifestyle that she did not work as much as she could have or was asked to. Also, despite what her boyfriend says, her success and his lack of it has finally started to cause a fracture. She is growing out of the hippie phase and wants something more substantial including marriage and children. On her latest film, she thinks she found it. The problem is she found it with an actor who is married to a gorgeous actress and they have a very young child. Everyone thought it would end when the filming did, but it did not. Our actress is not taking on any new projects so she will be available to her new man whenever he decides to leave his wife.

This long married, character actor that everyone knows and always plays the jerk has been acting like a jerk in real life as well. Maybe it was karma, and maybe he just found the wrong woman to swoon over. Having a mid-life crisis is one thing, but this actor has definitely gone overboard. He recently co-starred in a film with one of the most beautiful women on television. She is single and an absolute knockout. She also loves to flirt, which our actor took totally the wrong way. While filming he spent almost his entire salary for the film on gifts, jewelery and anything else he could to keep that flirtation alive. He was in love, and she played him like the fool. When filming ended he even told her he would leave his wife. She told him that if he did not leave her alone, SHE would tell his wife.

An easy one to end the day--

This singer's wife loves hosting parties and dinner events. Her husband abhors them and will do anything to get out of them. When he cannot think of an excuse and is stuck there, he refuses to make conversation unless he is forced to, and often just sits by himself in a corner. When the dinner is at a restaurant and he cannot find a corner, he just plugs in his i-pod and ignores everyone. What does he listen to? His own music.

Hez and all the readers in Vancouver get the first Police concert. However, it looks like The Idol host death match I had scheduled for Grammy time will have to wait, because The Police will be performing together again for the first time at the Grammy Awards.

I do not really have another article to click to. I just wanted everyone to see this picture of Brad Pitt from two weeks ago. Is he going to a Shawshank Redemption fanfest or something? Thanks People for the photo.

These latest revelations from Billy Joel do not seem that shocking. While most men dream of having a blowjob while watching television, Billy Joel liked them while playing the piano. And which one of us has not tried to commit suicide by drinking furniture polish? OK, he is a loon.

Trying to decide which comment goes best with the article about George Clooney and Pam Anderson.

#1 When George Clooney and Pam Anderson take dog walks together, I just want to be clear they are referring to actual dogs, and not George walking Pam. A little clarification would help.

#2 George Clooney has come full circle in his attempt to screw every woman in Hollywood. Next week it is back to Charlotte Rae aka Mrs. Garrett and any Facts of Life cast members he missed the first time through.

Emma Bunton is pregnant. No word on whether or not Eddie Murphy is the father.

You really want to take my word for it that Renee Zellweger and Luke Perry would NOT make a good couple.

I have no idea whether Mary-Kate Olsen has suffered a relapse of her anorexia problem. I will say that last week at the Golden Globes she did look thin, but looked good and was nibbling on food here and there as much as anyone else. Also, there were women there that looked scary thin. Mary Kate actually looked good body wise. I did not really like her makeup that night, but she looked ok to me.

Forbes has released their Web Celeb 25. This is their list of the 25 most influential people on the web today. According to Forbes it seems as if Perez has found himself doing number 2. Seriously though, whether you love him or hate him, everyone reads him or it least seems that way. I guess I am a complete moron because I only recognize about 6 of the names on the list. Isn't the idea that they are supposed to be the biggest web celebs and therefore the names should be fairly easy to recall.


One person who did not make it on the list is new blogger Victoria Beckham. I am linking to the article which has her web address, but I thought I would take a few minutes to give you some highlights about what I found when I went digging through her blog and also found some things that did not quite make it in.



November 4, 2006 - Heard the most awful sound in the house today. Turns out it was one of the cooks humming "Wannabe." He was flogged and then dismissed. Help is so hard to find these days.



November 19, 2006 - Was forced to spend five minutes with the children today. I do not know why I ever let David talk me into buying them. There is so much more I could do with the money.



December 18, 2006 - I heard about Melanie and Eddie Murphy and almost smiled for the first time in five years. I think the effort though ruptured a stitch somewhere.



December 25, 2006 - David slapped my tits for hours, but I won the bet we had. They did not even move an inch although I did have to sew back on one of the fake nipples.



January 12, 2007 - So David is going to play in LA. When I raised my one eyebrow that can still move to show my indifference or displeasure, he told me he is going to be the highest paid athlete in history. I told him that I still do not think he has anything to be proud of until he catches that Harry Potter woman. I mean she was homeless for gods sakes.



January 19, 2007 - Saw Katie and Tom. Katie and I went shopping. She i becoming so good at the always looking depressed look. I am so proud of her. I get along well with her as she does not mention Spice Girls and I do not mention Dawson's Creek. Tom tried to get us to involved with his church. I told him we would not get involved in any religion. If anyone is going to take half of David's money, it is going to be me.

One week left to get all those plugs in for you, your band, your company, or anything else you want to plug. I even got an e-mail with someone who is getting married. Just e-mail me the relevant information and I will pass it along on the blog next Friday.



I really have to admit that when I first saw the headline Nicole Kidman involved in auto crash, I thought Keith Urban had gone off the wagon, and then I realized this was gossip and the headlines often are not what they seem. I am not the biggest fan of TMX for that reason, but to give them their props, they do have video of the accident happening.



Jake Gyllenhaal: Finding a Good Woman Is Job One--I think this headline from People magazine says it all. I invite all of you to fill in a very snarky comment.

This A-list actor is fairly recently married and even has a child. Although he has had a serious drug problem in the past, most people thought it was just that, in the past. His previous drug use had caused him to be turned down for several roles which could have made him an even larger star. Because of the drugs, he was forced to take some roles that most actors in his position would turn down without a thought. Until his current marriage, his relationships were always on and off, depending on his drug use. Once everyone thought he was clean, they began hiring him again and again. Now however, back-to-back-to-back-to-back films without a break and a long absence from his wife allowed him to resume his old ways and habits. He still has a few films in the pipeline, but their dates keep getting pushed back to see whether or not he can kick his habit or whether he will be back to his old ways.

Speaking of addictions, this B-list hunk was moving steadily up the fame ladder, but his battle with meth and alcohol effectively stopped him in his tracks for almost a year. When he emerged from rehab, he thought things would pick up right where he left them, but this is not the case. Studios were already starting to forget him, so now he is forced to fight and audition for indie roles which he thought he had done away with for good. He did manage to get one indie role, but it looks like it is headed straight to video and our actor may be headed back to rehab.

This A-list actor recently had his movie delayed. It was allegedly so he could take some time off for exhaustion because he was working so hard. In actuality though, his herpes was flaring up and he kept getting cold sores. Makeup just made the problem worse, and it was going to be too expensive to digitally remove the sores from each frame of the film. Even worse, his co-star definitely did not want to kiss our actor and insisted something to be done. Time was the cure, but the co-star still did not want to kiss our actor. Seems odd for a couple playing husband and wife not to kiss, which is why parts of the film are being reshot.

When you are basically a nobody and get $1.2M as an advance to write a book, then it is going to be GOOD. Christina Haag must really have a lot of the inside scoop on JFK Jr. Her spilling the story about JFK Jr and Madonna is not enough for that kind of money, so there must be a lot more. This should be good.

Now, I know what I want for Christmas next year. Kimberly Stewart is trying to get Lindsay Lohan to sell her removed appendix on E-Bay. Wouldn't you like to see that in your stocking Christmas morning?

See, this is the problem with gossip. One tabloid says Kate Hudson is dating the guy from the group JET. Another tabloid says she is back with Owen Wilson. Yet, another tabloid called my imagination says that she is dating me.

Speaking of imagination. (whenever I type that I think of a SpongeBob episode) Sinful Comics has taken imagination to a whole new level by turning celebrities into porn stars. This is definitely NSFW, but extremely funny.

I suppose it is my obligation to make it easier for all of you who have not seen the Paris Exposed pictures to make them available. I also think I got herpes from just watching the video. Is that possible? Notice who she is with in the pictures. Also, if you listen to the video, try and catch where she says she just got fucked up the butt for coke. Yes, that is someone every Greek shipping magnate's son should take home to mama.

Here is the video which is the preview. Seriously think about protection before watching.

Here is the link to all the pics and to all 9 parts of the video. You will need a shower after watching.

The Wilmer Valderrama of the '80s, Mr. Scott Baio, is trying to sell a book about his famous conquests. Everyone knows about him hooking up with Pam Anderson and Heather Locklear, but did anyone know he also slept with Liza Minelli? And he wonders why he ended up alone. "Yeah, that Pam Anderson girl, she is pretty hot, but not that great. Let me tell you who I left her for. You know the actress who was in Arthur? Yes, the woman in her 50's. She is hot, man."

Does anyone really care that Anne Heche is getting a divorce? The only reason anyone even knows her name is because she hooked up with Ellen for awhile. At that time I thought that was the greatest sleep your way to the top move in recent memory. It beat Tom Arnold with Roseanne Barr just because of the degree of difficulty involved in having to play on the same team. That kind of gave her the edge. I think in modern times we need to look at Heather Mills as the new leader of that field. Anyway if you want to read about Anne Heche and her divorce, here is the article.

What relationship is on the rocks? This singer who had a notorious breakup has been with a new girl for many months now, but their long-distance relationship is starting to fade. Once thought to be headed for the altar, now this rebound relationship could be over. As they spend more time together, they are realizing they have two very different agendas and are in two very different places in their lives not counting their respective residences. She is trying to move her career to the next level while he is ready to settle down and have children. She will do anything for publicity and he is more comfortable out of the spotlight. Another sticking point is her choice of friends. He does not approve of many of them and this has caused additional friction. She enjoys partying and he prefers to stay home. Look for them both to be spotted soon being friendly with other people. Do not expect any public comments or publicist's statements.

This music producer/singer has a golden touch when making records for himself and others. He also seems to have been doing quite a bit of touching of one of the singer's he is currently producing. Jealous bandmates have been talking it up for sometime. However it does not appear that the talk has reached the mother of his children as of yet, and he will do anything to keep it from her.

This cusp A list actress is beginning to be known as someone who will gladly let any guy who is close to the A list have her for a night or two or even a week. Guys are starting to line up to share some of her affections. She is only too happy to oblige and is enjoying her new reputation. She wants the world to perceive her as the sex symbol hetero female because it allows her the freedom to explore the same team and not have it questioned too closely. What once would have been questioned as being more than friends, now is just a workout partner or someone she is having coffee with or even a shopping partner.

When I saw the headline about Sylvester Stallone giving up sex while filming the latest Rocky film, I was going to offer some smart ass remark like the fact that his wife is probably also happy he gave it up. But instead, I will let Sly make the best remark which is that"giving up sex improves your performance in sports or in a movie." So, did he give up sex for Rhinestone, Oscar, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Over The Top and so many others? If he did, then just think of how the movies would have sucked if he didn't.

So, I really thought that Angelina Jolie could not get any more weird. This coming from a woman who made out with her brother, wore a vial of blood around her neck, and slept with Billy Bob Thornton. But then comes this. A mother and son are dirty and need to freshen up. They live just a few minutes away from where they currently are, but mom decides to spend $700 so she can shower alone with her son at a hotel room. They stay two hours and leave.

I saw that Star is going to run an article which alleges that K-Fed has tried to get Britney Spears into rehab. If I get a call back from my "friend" I will ask that question and some others that I know you have asked me about.

I do not really have anything to say about Jessica Simpson today. I just wanted to really post this picture. First, she looks about 50 in this photo, and I want you to notice how far ahead of her, John Mayer is walking. When a guy walks that far in front of a girl in a public place, what he is saying is I am not with her, please do not think I am with her, and I am open to anyone else who happens along. Finally, Pimpa Joe's kid is wearing boots in Miami. Perhaps those 80 degree days are too chilly.

This article is asking whether P Diddy got a handful of Jessica Biel's breasts or quite possibly licking at them at the Golden Globes. I did not see him doing either. I did see Jessica and Jamie Foxx having some very intimate moments together and also kissing several times. If P Diddy joined them later, or was there earlier, I really do not know. I will tell you that my impression while watching Jamie and Jessica together was that they were going to be spending some alone time together later in the evening.

So, the new morning format seemed to work out pretty well yesterday so, I will keep sticking with it. I am working on another long blind item which will be combined with quite a few, not blind celebrity anecdotes that are relevant to the long blind item. Make sense? Also, I have received quite a few e-mails from people with some of their individual kindness stories and others wanting me to promote their band or play or whatever. So, I decided that next Friday which is my second favorite holiday, I will plug anything any reader wants to plug. I know I am going to plug Jeeeze's restaurant and Anna's bathing suit line and share the kindness stories, etc. So between now and next Thursday send me an e-mail with all of the relevant information and I will put it in front of the thousands upon thousands of other readers. The only caveat is it has to be directly related to you. You cannot say I want everyone to see this band that a friend of a friend of a friend knows.

Many of you asked me to comment on a recent suicide in Korea. Contrary to reports that were circulating, no one from Baby VOX committed suicide. The woman who did kill herself was a singer and actress and was under a great deal of pressure from her fans and her record label. Although I know of U Nee, the woman who killed herself, I do not know her and she is not the subject of the long blind item.

Kelly Osbourne was turned down by Playboy. She may have been turned down, but I think the quote by Hugh Hefner is fabricated. He allegedly stated "we don't airbrush to that extent." First of all Hef has got more class than to say something like that in public. Second, I do not think Hef would want to get on the wrong side of Sharon Osbourne or piss off a rock legend like Ozzy. Finally, I am not so sure Hugh would turn it down. Kelly Osbourne may not be the typical Playboy pictorial subject, BUT there would be a tremendous number of issues sold and the interest would be really high. Ask yourself if you would be curious to see her in Playboy.

Sometimes you hear about something and you just do not even know where to begin. Nevermind, I guess we will start at the beginning. See, there is this singer/actress who has had a bit of a drug problem in the past. Perhaps she has kicked it, and perhaps not. While visiting the UK recently she met an actor who is A-list in the UK, but no one has heard of here although he is in one of the year's biggest hits. He was so enamored of his little doll that he followed her back to LA. She was flattered and loved the attention. He began telling her of his special needs in regards to sex. Think KK video and you will get the idea. Although she did not find it appealing, she was flattered that he wanted to do it with her and so she agreed. UNTIL she found out that while in LA and not seeing her, he was finding some women who accept money for those kinds of things and doing it with them. Serious bonus points for getting his name.

Now, I understand some blogs do not have the sources or capabilities to actually come up with blind items that are true. But it seems to me, this blog (Not Perez) could do much better than trashing celebrities simply because they had a falling out with one of their employees. This blog has a habit of making up blind items about a celebrity which are in reality nasty things they want to say about an ex-employee. They throw out a question mark to make the celebrity balk at suing, and instead make sure all the remaining staff get a forced laugh and a taste of what will happen if they decide to leave.

What happens when you are at a nightclub and think you are the shit, but no one is paying any attention to you? What happens when you think you can get away with anything and not suffer any consequences? Well this Seinfeld reference decided to take matters into her own hands. An A-list model was dancing on a four foot high stage and drawing the attention of the entire nightclub not only with her beauty but in the way she was dancing. This did not sit well with our spoiled princess and so she pushed the model off the stage and down to the floor. It was only because she happened to land on someone that she avoided a possible career ending injury. Those who saw what happened began to boo at the princess, but she was so into herself that she did not even care. She did not really dance, she just kind of did red carpet pose after red carpet pose. She was loving herself even more than normal. The only problem in her little plan was that the model and the owner of the club are really close so the next thing you know, the princess was yanked from the stage and shown the door. The crowd went crazy and all waved buh bye.

I know that everytime I post a Nick Lachey or Jessica Simpson story, there are people who read this blog and go running off to post it on their respective forums and blogs. Although I like to make fun of Pimpa Joe, I do try and stay neutral when it comes to who I support more. It is obvious that I do lean more Team Nick because of some sources I have. Well, what Pimpa Joe is doing in the UK for next week's dueling CD releases between the pair is really nasty and something which typifies Pimpa Joe. You can read the whole article if you have the time. However, the relevant portion states: “The fabulous Jessica Simpson NICKs the spotlight on 29th January...”

First of all, using the word fabulous in that sentence is just way overblown, but then to take a dig at Nick just because his CD sales are so much higher and she cannot sell a CD to make Pimpa Joe a buck because everyone knows the divorce was her/Pimpa's fault. With John Mayer and Jessica Simpson in Miami this week look for some kind of publicity stunt. If Pimpa can take his eyes off the bikinis at the beach, he will no doubt come up with something to make his daughter look even more terrible and John Mayer even more reluctant to admit he is dating Jessica.

Last year, Mel and I just missed each other at Coachella. It could of course have something to do with the fact that we did not know each other then, but that is beside the point. The Coachella lineup was released yesterday and Rage Against the Machine reuniting is the big deal. Of course, for me, Friday night will be the big deal because Bjork will be the headliner. Maybe this year I will have better luck getting The Smiths to reunite. I do not see the punisherz on the list of acts, but there is still time for them to be added.

Ahhhh. When you are a couple, and the subject of a blind item, what is the first thing that runs through your mind? No, not suing Ted C. We are talking about one of my blind items. Obviously, the first thing you want to do is go get married. Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams allegedly have married. According to this article in the NY Post, they were spotted wearing wedding rings. Well, a photo would be nice. How come, we have to go to a UK newspaper (until they give me a license to use their photos, I am not going to say their name) to get a photo of the two wearing wedding bands? Perhaps the NY Post would like to spend a few bucks and pay Splash for the photos? What is the difference between photographing underage girls and kiddy porn? Well if you are Joe Francis, you probably will want to make that difference clear. Being convicted of laws designed to prevent the sexual exploitation of minors and only getting probation and community service seems like a slap on the wrist. Unlike what the tabloids are saying, I think this is the guy that drove Lindsay into rehab not James Franco.